Adrian Sudbury was a reporter for both the Huddersfield Express and Chronicle Series and the Huddersfield Examiner. In November 2006 the 25-year-old was promoted to digital journalist, effectively editing the new-look Examiner website.
Just two days into his new role he became seriously ill and called in sick. A week later he drove himself to A&E and was eventually diagnosed with leukaemia.
It was then identified that he actually had two distinct types of the disease running at the same time. According to the medical literature he was the only person in the world to have this condition. As such, it was not possible to offer Adrian a prognosis.
Here he shared his experiences of the disease and his treatment up until his passing.In many ways this is an incredibly difficult post to write because I know it will raise hope that is misplaced.
Just before shopping with Carrie on Friday I got a phone call from the hospital.
More results had come back from my last bone marrow sample revealing why the Glivec drug or Imatinib had failed to work.
It also showed a drug from the same family, called Dasatinib, should be effective against my leukaemia.
They asked me to come in urgently, but as I had killer shoes, perfume and pizza to take care of, our little meeting had to wait.
At the moment I feel terrible.
I don't need to be stabbed by a nurse to tell you that my blood counts are poor.
This means I am not making enough red blood cells to carry a satisfactory amount of oxygen around my body.
Consequently I just feel exhausted. My eyes are heavy and even getting out of bed is becoming more and more challenging.
Blood blisters are forming in my mouth and occasionally I can taste blood throughout the day.
Thankfully, there have been no major bleeds yet.
I will need blood and platelets again tomorrow or Tuesday.
This is the way of things and I was quite resigned to my fate.
However, in many ways, Friday's news was as cruel as it was kind.
My medical team had no choice but to pass this news onto me.
Without getting into the science too much the classic form of chronic myeloid leukaemia (CML) can now be controlled, with much success, by the drug Imatinib.
I've never had CML but a strange myelo-proliferative disorder which the doctors have never really come across before and have never quite known what to do with.
Before my bone marrow transplant there had been some success with Imatinib. My strange disease had responded and was improving - but the medical team were convinced my best option was a bone marrow transplant.
When traces returned earlier this year there was no reason to suggest that the Imatinib wouldn't be successful again.
Obviously this was incorrect.
The reason is that my particular strain of the disease has developed resistance to the drug.
Tests carried out on my last bone marrow sample show that it will be sensitive to this other drug Dasatinib.
Again, the consultants find themselves in uncharted territory.
There is no one else to compare with exactly how this drug is going to work in me - if at all.
But of course the doctors have to try and so do I.
The head funk is that it raises this slim, tiny, glimmer of hope that we can achieve a remission.
Because it's so unknown what is going to happen anything is technically possible.
But the likelihood of this, considering the extent to which the leukaemia has returned, is verging on the impossible.
The theory is the new drug will inhibit the cells that are misbehaving in my bone marrow.
Whether this can reverse all the damage that has been done is highly unlikely.
And then this in turn raises more almost unanswerable questions.
At the moment, as well as all the other vast quantities of infection fighting tablets, I am taking very mild chemotherapy tablets to slow down the cancer's progression.
Problems can occur if too many white blood cells get into the blood stream thickening it up.
The idea my consultants have is that this drug will make a better job of this so look on it as a preferred medicine in respect of palliative care.
I have had a great time recently but I am spiralling downwards.
I'm all for prolonging my life - obviously - but not if I'm feeling like this. Another six months of being bed ridden is not what I need at all.
Maybe these drugs will have no effect.
But what if they did start to reverse things?
On one level that would be fantastic, but realistically my leukaemia has survived so much, and already developed resistance to one member of this drug family.
From a scientific point of view it is therefore more than conceivable that resistance could develop again.
I've talked to my parents about my funeral, made plans - how could I cope with getting better only to have to go through all that again?
If I get rid of the leukaemia then it's back to living long-term with Graft Versus Host disease and a very poor quality of life.
Realistically nothing changes.
This is not the miracle people have been praying for. But it's horrible trying to explain this complex haematological situation because you can see people's eyes light up with the aforementioned misplaced hope.
Emotionally, I wish I'd never had that phone call.
I've been following your blog over the past few weeks. I really don't know what to say in response to your latest post.
As you say, no one knows what effect the new drug will have on your particular form of leukaemia. Surely it's worth a go?
Miracles can happen. You are clearly an exceptional human being, as many people have said, and it might just be that this drug is the miracle your waiting for.
I know that whatever you do your friends and family, and the thousands of supporters who read this blog but don't know you, will support your decision.
Hi Adrian,
Certainly an emotional roller-coaster without a doubt! You've had all week-end to think about this "news" and to weigh up the pros and cons, yet you are probably still in a state of confusion about the whole thing.
My gut reaction on reading your latest blog was "Go for it Adrian!" This is probably because my brother was in a similar situation 25 years ago. At the eleventh hour (so to speak)he was given a cocktail of drugs which they then had no idea whether it would kill or cure. It was a long painful ordeal for him, but he is here with us now after making a miraculous recovery. Nobody knows the reason why. Drugs? Miracles? The love of friends and family? It doesn't matter to us how or why this happened, but we are so grateful that he is here with us now.
Put the funeral plans on hold Adrian.
Don't give in to it yet!!!
Much love to you and your family,
Margaret. XXX
Hi Adrian
This glimmer of hope could be great, although you are aware of the knock on effect it can have on you.
You have been through so much for someone so young physically and emotionally. Keep positive there is a lot of love out there for you.
Congratulations on the award. Your family must be so proud of you.
Take care love
Rachel x
Adrian, I really understand why you have mixed emotions about this find.
I have been thinking about your plight constantly, you've invaded my dreams, and this afternoon I was absolutely fuming and ranting because of the injustice of all that is happening. My heart goes out to you right now. Why should this wonderful, gorgeous young man have to go through this - and those in similar situations - when there are horrible, evil people living their lives? It is just so unfair!
It would be amazing if you could still beat this horrific illness, yet what kind of life, might you have? Is it for selfish reasons that people are hoping for your life to be prolonged? There are those who have lived fulfilling lives with graft versus host though, so I can see both sides.
All I know that is so long as you are not suffering then any time you get to spend on this earth is worth it, you really are one in a million. I know of nobody else who has stared death in the face with such bravery.
Having worked with cancer patients I know many deal with it in different ways. One lady refused all treatment and accepted pain relief only when she knew the cancer would take her eventually. A man I know is riddled with cancer. He has it in his bowel, lungs and liver, and he is terribly ill, yet is undergoing his 4th and strongest bout of chemo yet. He feels that cancer is his foe and he's going to fight it quite literally to the death!
Whatever your choice I'm sure you will have the full support of your family and friends - and the thoughts of complete strangers you have touched. You are constantly in my thoughts, I'm sure my fella is getting jealous ;)
Please keep your spirits up, I hope the blood and platelets help,
Caroline x
Hi Adrian
I've been looking for a post from you all day! And here it is: and once again I wonder at your generosity in sharing this latest complex development with us. I guess like everyone else who reads your words and prays for your wellbeing, my heart beat a little bit faster when I first read your latest post, and I had to go back several times to really take in what this all means.
Adrian, this latest news must seem like some sort of torture to you - and to your dear family - because it offers yet another unknown element into your future. But whatever this new development brings, because you are so strong in spirit, I know that you will face it with courage and that it will enable you to add yet another dimension to your life that you would not have otherwise experienced. This has all happened for a reason and we don't know what it is yet.
Of course I'm harbouring the hope that it means you can do more with your family and with your campaign. I know you're feeling terrible but you personally seem to be able to move people to action faster than any celebrity I can imagine (and that's a reference to the PM's celebrity video idea).
Anyway thank you for sharing this with us.
Love, Amanda
Adrian,
This latest news has obviously shaken you. Only you can decide what is best for you.
But remember...miracles do happen....... occasionally!!
Love Diane x
awww Adrian, i started off reading your post and my heart filled with happiness & hope and my first thought was ' Adrian is going to get better & have a long life', but as u say there's no instant fixex or cure.
I read ur blog every nite, and i cry and laugh with 'you', ur such a handsome, funny, amazing guy and what's happening to you is so unfair. Why do this things only happen to GOOD people.
I hope tomorrow or tuesday u will feel a bit better after u have blood & platelets.
Lots of love to the one & only great Adrian =) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey Adrian,
This is not false hope. You already hit the one in a trillion lotto by getting two forms of this horrible disease; maybe that slim hope this drug offers will make a real difference. For all you know some scientist beavering away will next week be calling your doctors about a way to ease the graft versus host disease. As you know there is no miracle cure for cancer and the horrible side effects of treatment but there are incremental improvements all the time. Hang in there if you can. I'm praying that you will feel better with your next blood transfusion. Your life, your fight is inspiring so many others. Take care of yourself.
Love from Embi
Australia
Oh, Adrian.
Wow. I must admit I nearly jumped out of my chair when I started reading this latest post. What if??? What IF??? Obviously, it's your life and yours is the only opinion that really matters right now, but... I have to tell you honestly, the first thing that popped into my head was "What if it meant he could see his sister walk down the aisle in her wedding gown???" I'm so conflicted even writing this, because it's not my place, I haven't suffered like you have, we haven't even met, I get all that... but, you are an extraordinary person: WHY CAN'T SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY HAPPEN FOR YOU??? I pray for you daily, and I am wishing you well across the miles.
Lacey
TX, USA
Adrian,
When you take things a day at a time, you have to hope anyways that you will see the sun rise
the next day. Continue to do that.
You have many people who are hoping, praying, and keep you in their thoughts - whether it's for the healing your body needs, or for a painless passing after your blaze of glory - you're recognized as a brave person.
Make another brave decision. Add a little more hope into your day.
You already know what will happen if you don't try.Stay a bit longer to see some of your good work come to fruition. :)
Blessed Be.
Ultimately, you don't know until you try. And obviously whether or not you really want to throw this drug in the mix is something that is racking your brain since you received that call.
Maybe you wonder what if you had not received that call.. but in reality, you did, and it is for a reason.
You have given so many people hope and the realization that life should not be taken for granted.. your path has been an incredibly arduous one and you still remain an incredibly loving and patient person.
The fact that you can look at your family, and feel horrible for the sadness they are experiencing and will go through if you pass, completely rips my heart in half.
You do not pity yourself. You do not ask the question why constantly (maybe you do, it doesn't seem so). You do not curse God or whomever you believe in for letting this happen to you.
You continue on, all the while educating not just the people around you, but people all over the world. And that is quite a feat.
So that maybe if this occurs to another human being, we will all be more educated and be able to take proper steps without so much questioning involved.
I believe if I were in your situation, I would have literally given up ages ago.
Regardless of support and love.. to feel the way you describe I am afraid would be all too much. Emotionally it would probably cripple me. I do not know what would happen, and of course I pray that I never personally know.
You have so many people waiting and watching and praying that some miracle will occur..
I personally pray that maybe there can be some sort of remission, if not that then maybe months or even years added to your life, and the medical community and just us commonfolk can learn from your steps, triumphs and failures alike.
I, like so many other people, will check in daily and hope to see that you are still fighting and staying as strong as God willingly possible. Good luck Adrian, we are all thinking of you.
~Teresa
Im not loosing hope in you
Bro',
I found your blog after seeing the blog of a dear friend of mine who's getting ready to fight his CLL with a bone marrow transplant. We're in Canada and had not heard your story. I've read much here and have seen your youtube videos.
I'm sorry for your troubles and the emotional roller-coaster described in your last entry. I wish I could help more than telling you you're in my thoughts and I'm asking the Universe, from my heart, to kick some stones out of your path.
I know you'd rather be well, than brave. Or just have some peace and be both. I wish that for you.
I hope whatever decision you make with regards to trying the treatment is the right one for you.
God bless you and your family. You have friends across the pond thinking good thoughts for you.
H
Hey Adrian,
I haven't posted yet, but have been reading for a while now. you have been a true inspiration, as everyone else has already pointed out! I can understand that the news you have posted is quite troublesome for you and your family. Just when you come to a sort of peace with your situation they throw a little light your way. Truth is, you don't know if it will work or not...but is that to say you shouldn't try? Obviously I am not someone you need to listen to - only you hold that answer. But I wanted to let you know that you have the support of the world holding you up in hope and love.
Take care, do what you feel is right for YOU.
I will never forget your smiling face,
Much Love from FL,
Michelle
I really wish works for you and at the very least makes you feel better. Even if you feel crappy living with GVHD you will always be beautiful.
The world is a better place with you in it. Good Luck and Congrats to the sis!
Hi Adi,
I've been reading your blog with increasing awe for a while now.
I discovered it and you by accident, I was actually looking up the blog of my best mate who is also called Adrian (but we call him Adi), and who has been famously bald since about the age of 23 (he's now 42).
His baldness is purely hereditary but his mates think it actually divine retribution for the appalling things he did to it while he had it.
I can only imagine (well actually I can't) what you've gone through and what you are now facing with such courage and, to be blunt, "cojones".
(Is it just coincidence that in Dad's Army the one always most ready for a fight was Co. Jones?)
Anyway, what am I trying to say I hear you ask?
I know you must mull over these circumstances night after lonely night, but I'll state the obvious anyway.. Please don't make any decisions until you've had your next batch of the good stuff.
Oh, and if you haven't seen it already, I'd recommend you see a film. It's called The Lion in Winter (1968).. it's funny and moving and thought provoking all at the same time and every time I read your blog I'm reminded of a scene in it.
An exchange between 2 brothers waiting in a dungeon for what seems imminent execution:
Prince Richard: He'll get no satisfaction out of me. He isn't going to see me beg.
Prince Geoffrey: My you chivalric fool... as if the way one falls down matters.
Prince Richard: When the fall is all there is, it matters a great deal.
Good luck and keep the faith .. you chivalric fool :)
HOPE is a good word.
Adrian,
I have been reading your site for a long time now and was always content to read your posts and refrain from commenting. Today, I feel compelled to write you.
I live in Canada and am fighting my own battle of health and life. Your example and how much you have been able to accomplish, especially recently, has been exhilerating to me.
I would never presume to offer you any advice as every indivual's experience is so personal. I do feel a kinship in many things you write even though our diseases are not the same. My husband and I have shared your feelings expressed today; of disappointment and uncertainty in the unexpected navigation on the path of disease. You can't help but feel as you do based on past experience.
My main purpose in writing was to let you know that even though we haven't met officially, I truly care for you. I am deeply affected by your words and check each day to see the state of your welfare.
I am sorry that you have to go through this as I know that dealing with emotional upset can be even more disturbing than physical sickness.
Thinking of you with appreciation,
Sunshine
"Of course the doctors have to try and so do i"
You must feel like a human guiena pig! Isn't life strange? I understand why you feel you have to go for it.
You know all the time things are developing and there may be something soon to sort out Graft versus Host et al.
In so many more ways than you imagined you are going to be saving so many lives, this drug may save yours and if not the results will definately go towards saving someone elses.
Your rollercoaster continues......
But you know what Adrian..I don't think anyone would blame you if you wanted to say NO!
Keep it Your Call.
Dear Adrian,
Whatever you decide please remember you are loved, admired and respected by so many people in this world. I continue to wish for a miracle for you, in whatever form this comes. Never give up hope.
Bless you
Ree
Hi Adrian,
Just seen your TV interview(s)and news reports.
I too am a journalist with leukaemia and like you have been through a bone marrow transplant and have replapsed (after 8 years). Fortunately I am responding well to Glivec.
I admire your honesty and determination Adrian, your grit and your caring heart; and salute all that you have achieved.
Disease and suffering do not make someone noble but you not only faced this challenge but turned it into an opportunity to help others on the same journey - and you have done it amazingly, courageously and wonderfully well.
Peace, brother.
Steve
oh good grief, what an unbelievable situation you face, and knowing you (as we have all come to learn) you'll be thinking as much as the effect all this is having on your family as much as yourself.
You know, maybe this is the miracle we've been praying for (or the beginning of it), I shall continue to keep you in my prayers.
I'm so glad you have such wonderful family who have helped you decide and will continue to help decide the *what next*s.
God bless and keep you Adrian
As you said you don't know how this is going to pan out but you deserve to give your family the chance and yourself to see you never know if you feel aweful then they will understand if you stop but you are a fighter give it a go please you could help more people who are in a similar postion to you later on in life.
Henny
What will be, will be Adrian.
You know best what your body feels like and what you can endure.
You are surrounded by love from all who know you - and many that don't.
Thinking of you all
Yvette Price-Mear xxx
Oh Adrian
Emotional turmoil!
A glimmer of hope has been handed to you after you have set your mind to dealing with the inevitable. It is your body and your leukaemia and YOUR decision about what path to take. It is what you want and not what you think everyone else expects you to do.
However, this glimmer has not been handed to you without a reason.You have achieved great things and may be your job isn't finished yet. Somebody up there may have other ideas for you! You have such a great support network around you that I'm sure they will see you through every step. I mentioned on a previous post that as the mother of a sufferer, it is the 2 steps forward, 1 step back that I find the hardest emotionally and I am not even the one with the illness and although I'm not a religious person, I think positive thinking and belief are vitally important.That call was for a reason. Carpe Diem Adrian!
People love you for different reasons. The ones close to you because they truly know you, all the rest of us out here in the interworld because you have shown us how amazing one man can be, hinting at the idea of what human kind could be like if only we dared to live - now, without losing ourselves in plans for "the future" and without need for "safety". I am no journalist, I can't use words like you do, but I can say this much: we want you in this world, you make it a more pleasant place. Misplaced hope is still hope, and I thank you for giving us some. Much love to you, Adrian, and I wish you more strength and less pain.
Oh Adrian, it's so hard I know. Graham is going through the same thing at the moment and we are waiting to see if the new drug has achieved a remission.
This disease is such an emotional rollercoaster and I can understand that you want it to be over but you have such a great spirit, I would love to see you give this new drug a go.
You have done such a great job of highlighting the need for more bone marrow donors and I am sure you have more work to do :)
Sam
Keep fighting. As Winston Churchill said - 'Success is not final. failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.'
Don't give up now - you have to much still to do.
xx
Dear Adrian,
Firstly, congratulations on you latest reward- well deserved sir! And also congrats to Carrie and her husband-to-be, what a lovely thing to happen at this difficult time.
Gosh. Head funk indeed. It sounds like you're in a bit of a muddle (understatement I guess) as to whether you're doing the right thing and as to whether or not you can, in a way, go through what you have been through over the past few weeks again in terms of emotional adjustment. Also, given the caring person you are, you're also worried about if those around you can go through it again. I just wanted to say that from reading your posts, I think giving Dasatinib a go wouldn't 'get rid' of the peace you have made over the past weeks; maybe this is just the next step in your journey and whether or not it changes the outcome, it will add new expereinces that could be positive. It sounds like in the past weeks (or indeed years) you have been on a massive journey that nobody can take away from you, not matter what you decide at this step. You just have to do what feels right, and I have no doubt that your friends and family will support you all the way. And try not to feel worried or responsible for others' hope, maybe it's what they need for that particular moment in time and irrelevant as to if it's misplaced and can't last, it's a great feeling to have.
I'm sorry you've not been feeling so great over that past days, I hope that the blood and platelets will pick you up a treat. Lots of people are thinking of you and wishing you all the very best, but most importantly that you feel at peace with whatever you decide.
Lots of love and hugs my friend. xxx
I've been following your blog now for about a month and i just wanted to say what an inspiration you truely are, if anyone deserves a miricle it is you. I don't know you but your blog has really touched me and if this drug does work who knows what scientific advancements there will be in the future in regards to the GVHD.
About a year ago I started looking in to Bone Marrow donation, but due to a difficult family situation it got put to the back of my to do list and I forgot about it. Your blog has shown me again how important it is to join the register and it is something I am actually going to do this time.
You've done so much for other people, just maybe this is your miricle.
goodluck xxx
Dear Adrian, what a dilemma you face, all of us out here hope and pray that this might be the miracle we've all felt should happen to you. You are such an inspirational young man, and like many of the people who are devoted to you, the terrible suffering you and your dear family are experiencing has affected us all. If love and prayers could heal you Adrian you would be free of this dreadful disease. Whatever decision you make with regard to trying this drug, will I'm sure be the right one.
With deep admiration and love.
Sandra Shave
But just think, if they can find things like this that may help you, think what they can do in the future to help alleviate the symptoms of your Graft Versus Host disease. Medicine is constantly improving and the longer you fight and stay with us the better the chances of outwitting "Luke Emia". Having said that, i can't imagine the pain and suffering you are going through and I realise that there is only so much fight in one person. Whatever you decided and whatever the outcome you have communicated your situation amazingly well. Your journalistic skills are top notch and you possess an amazing ability to express yourself through words.
Good luck and if there is a God then the outcome will be the right one whatever your choice.
Adrian, the mind is a powerful thing, if anyone can do this its you!
All the luck in the world.
x
Awww Adrian.. talk about emotional roller coaster ride.... I think yours would qualify as the fastest and most white knuckle one there could possibly be!
But do you know what? to quote you "We are all in this together- sorry about that" Well that works both ways, because you are stuck with us, too! :P We are here for you, Adrian and I, for one, am not one bit sorry to share, in some small way, your roller coaster ride as you are an amazing guy, who has really touched my life.
XX
Dear Adrian,
I have been reading your blog for a while now and wanted to write but I am not very articulate at the best of times! Nothing I can write will be able to express to you my admiration for your strength and courage. You have touched the hearts and souls of so many people and we truly care for you, the greatest compliment you can be given.
I just wanted to send you a big hug and to say thank you for giving me hope in people!
Vickie
hi u may not see this email hi have sent 2 of and not see them just whont to say keep going as long as u can carol ann james xx
What a blow - but as you are no doubt painfully aware, you won't know if it can work if you don't try! I say, put the funeral plans on hold and seize the day! That said, no one but you knows how much more of this you can handle and you'll be supported in whatever decision you make.
I'm by no means a religious person but I do believe in the connectivity of people and the power of energy.. there's so much good energy flowing towards you and your family from every corner of the globe that if there is a miracle that I'll see happen in my lifetime it'll be for you! Maybe this drug will give you the time that is needed for that to happen.
xoxox
Adrian,
All I can say is best wishes to you... whatever happens you have been an inspiration to many people and long may that continue.
Sage
Oh Adrian
If I had a working magic wand....
Sending you big hugs and lots of
love and light
Annie
Blimey! I wasn't expecting that news. That is fantastic - take it with both hands. You are such an amazing person, so many people are rooting for you - why can't something amazing happen? It can.
Lots of love
Jx
Hello Adrian,
Ive been reading your blog for a few weeks now and I am so inspired by your fighting spirit. I work as a cancer research nurse and I'd like people to know that even if they can't be a bone marrow donor, they shuold still consider being a blood donor, as I'm sure you realise what a precious commodity this is and what a difference it can make even if all other treatments fail.
Can I also urge anyone reading this blog to donate a unit of blood as it it so vital in the treatment of all cancers
I hope the blood products give you a fighting chance and I wish you all the love and support for your continued campaign....you are an inspiration
Dianne
Wow, Adrian, what a lot for you to take on board! I'm sure that we all understand why you might be hesitant to do what the docs. suggest but I personally think that because you are such a special person, some greater being (person or thing,,whatever)has decreed that you deserve a second chance! The decision has to be yours though and everyones support is with you in whatever you choose to do.
Keep smiling.
Loads of love and hugs.
Chris M.x
I WILL TYPE THIS IN CAPITOL LETTERS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO STRAIN YOUR EYES!
ADRIAN, YOU ARE STRONG.
I'M NOT SO STRONG, I STILL HAVEN'T KEPT MY PROMISE TO YOU. BUT I AM WAITING FOR A NEW VIDEO CAMERA TO SIGN UP FOR THE BONE MARROW REGISTER HERE IN BRAZIL BECAUSE I WANT TO GET IT ALL ON TAPE AND MAKE A LITTLE FILM SHOWING HOW SIMPLE IT IS. THEN MAYBE MORE PEOPLE WILL WANT TO DO IT AS WELL.
Hey Adrian,
I don't envy you love, such emotional turmoil was always going to be hard to bear, but remember we are always behind you 100%!
I know that you'll be obviously aware of this, but there is always the chance that this treatment could prolong your life enough to see your beautiful sister walk down the aisle, which would be so wonderful for both you and her. The chance may only be very slim, but at least it is there, which is more than can be said for the position you were in before.
You have been through so much, and everyone would understand if you had had enough, of course they would. But hope is a powerful thing, and it may just give you the strength you need to carry on the fight. Even if it fails, at least you'll know you did everything you could.
Sending much love and courage your way, and waiting eagerly for the blood drive to come to our 6th form, so I can give something back!
Keep smiling gorgeous!
Amy
xxxxx
Hi
What a dilema, only you can know what is the right choice for you, but gut instinct says go for it. As keeps being said everyone is supporting and rooting for you whatever the decision.Maybe this will be the one that works - i really hope so
xx
Adrian,I guess there's not much I can say that hasn't been said already, and more eloquently by others. Just know our thoughts and prayers continue with you on your journey.
Only you know in your heart what you can endure. It's obvious to all who know you the depth of your strength and your generosity. No matter what your choices are Adrian, everyone will support you. The world supports you! I understand your concern with your parents and your funeral, and I'm guessing they'd rather see you have quality of life over quantity. It's heartbreaking to see those you love suffer. It's a heartwrenching dilemma you have dear Adrian.....but you'll make the right decision.Good heavens, look at all the right decisions you've made up til now! Way to go Adrian, you do us all proud!
And congrats to your sister on her engagement, and a happy birthday as well!
Beth
Across the pond.....but thinking of you often.
Hi Adrian:
So much has been written by others much better than I could ever write. Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts every day. I just hope the best for you and that you are not in pain.
Been passing out the bone marrow information on the US bone marrow register, talking to everyone. I do it for you, because you have inspired me like nothing ever has.
Rooting for you and fully supporting any decision you make.
I'll take a glimmer...I hope that all turns out for the best. Your blog is delightful to read, and your goals are inspirational. As long as *you're* feeling better, I would love to read it for a long time to come...
Hi Adrian,
I've been following your blog daily for about a week, after a friend told me about it.
About dasatinib (and pardon me for being so direct), I hope you will waste no time in giving it a try. It does seem to work in many cases where Glivec doesn't. Search the Internet for it, and you'll see what I mean.
All the very best. You're a very brave and selfless person.
Mike.
The ups and downs must be so hard. You are still in our thoughts and prayers over here in the US.
Much love and even with much difficult hope,
Brittany
Hey Adrian,
I hope you give it a go and I really really hope it kicks in and gets your leukaemia under control. If positive vibes count for anything I reckon you must have a fighting chance with us blog addicts behind you..
All the best, Claire x
Adrain the brave
Yes thats what you are. Now take a bow.
What was your thing about shoes??????/ have you taken to Jimmy choo high heels .......oh my.
Its Royal Ascot on telly so am not concentrating on writing. What beautiful creatures they are. THE HORSES silly. Hats are a bore. NO wonder men take to the race course.
Stay brave or I will stop writing to you. hahahah
Love and love and love.......jmxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Adrian,
I've been following your blog for a while now. My hubby has been fighting cancer now for 3+ years and he's unique too in his own way. No kidneys due to polycystic kidney disease & cancer to boot, what are the odds of that! When he was first diagnosed with the cancer I read about a very wise woman who had also fought cancer and it taught me something I've never forgotten. I was overwhelmed by the prospects of cancer and kidney disease and how we might manage to fight both at the same time. Additionally, although they were well meaning, the Drs. wanted to make sure we knew what we were up against so they told us every little detail and all of the obstacles my husband would face.
This woman said that while we were all born to die, none of us were born with expiration dates on the bottom of our feet. The length of our lives on this earth aren't meant to be determined by doctors or even by us but by God himself. So, while it may seem like false hope, never give up, you just never know what trick God has up his sleeve for you.
I hope that you give it a try and I hope this treatment is wildly successful beyond anything you can begin to imagine. Thank you for being such an inspiration to us all and know that you are in my prayers.
Hi Adrian!
I've just read the coventry evening tlegraph from Tuesday june 10th yeh last week there was obviously a reason as to why i hadnt thrown it away but dont know what. I've just been lookin at ur vids and blogs of the last 2 weeks you are a very strong individual i can totally understand why u might not want to go through treastment any longer as my mum die of ovarian cancer in november2006 and she had chance to continue chemo after an unsuccessful operation but this would have left her out of it and still might not have worked so she decided not to as she wanted the short but half quality time she had left to spend with us and no regrets there as we were able to talk to her about everything we alwasy wanted to and say everything we needed to etc so i know exactly wat u mean but on the other hand you are very young and it could work although wat ur sayin about ur body resisting to family drugs i just dont know wat i do know is that its down to u and dont let anyone say otherwise take care hun i will ask my mum to keep an eye on you!!! stay brave huni. xxx
Adrian,
Wow! Talk about a Catch-22..
I am at a loss for words because if I were in your situation, I too, would not know which way to choose.
Not knowing if the treatments could prolong or accelerate the disease--
Not knowing if the treatments could increase or decrease your energy levels--
Not knowing if the treatments will even work.... means you have one tough decision to make.
Wow, is about all I can say. Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you Adrian.
I hope the news that you received did not linger in the back of your mind while you were enjoying the day with your sister.
Livestrong-
Kimberly Parr
Cincinnati, Ohio
USA
Where does God lead us? We don't know. We only know He leads us.