April 2008 Archives

Saved by my family, my friends and this blog

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Just over a week ago I nearly took my own life.

I had drunk a generous glass of whiskey and was lying on my bed. I am sorry to say it now but I have never felt so worthless and empty.

Despite everything I have been through there just seemed no point in carrying on.

There was no hope at all.

An overdose seemed the most logical option. I had even worked out the order in which I was going to consume the copious amounts of tablets stuffed in a bag by my bedside.

I'm ashamed to write this but that is the truth and I suppose this is what my blog is all about.

To indicate just how serious I was I had started playing all my Radiohead albums! God I'm a cliche.

What stopped me in the end was maybe cowardice - a drugs overdose will be a slow and painful death - but mainly thinking about just how cruel it would have been on my family.

I know there are lots of people, including readers of this blog, who care about me and don't want me to die - even though I care much less now.

When it came to it I just couldn't do it.

This is how I turned things around with a lot of help from some wonderful people.

Bone Marrow Sample 3

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Heart break

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This time I have some really sad news.

Poppy has called off the wedding and decided to separate.

I have never been so sad in all my life.

I am utterly heartbroken.

But the most diffcult thing is that I don't blame her.

There was no big argument; I think there was just the slow realisation of what getting married to me means.

Me and Pops before the illness. This is what I used to look like

She also has a new job up in Hartlepool and all these factors together made her think she could make a clean break.

As for me I already miss her so much and my life is in tatters.

I must begin this post with some more sad news.

My much loved N-reg Fiat Punto has died. I had come to think of it as the Herbie of the Leukaemia world.

Time of death 3pm Tuesday March 31 2008.

Location: M1 northbound just short of Wooley Edge services between junctions 38 and 39.

RIP little guy.


Of course my old car giving up the ghost wouldn't normally feature in my leukaemia blog but it's such a strange story I thought I had to include it.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from April 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

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