The Beginning of the End

I think you're one of the bravest people I've ever heard of. God Bless you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers always.

So very very sorry to hear the latest news.

You are a remarkably strong individual and I so wish that there was some treatment to help you.

Thinking of you and your family and I don't know what else to say.

Susan

Oh Adrian
My heart hurts. my heart hurts
love and light
Annie

Adrian,

I really don't have words to describe how simultaneously heartbroken I am for you and how joyous I am to have gotten the opportunity to know you in some small way.

Thank you for laying bare your struggles and emotions. Please know there are people all over the world hoping and praying that your next days and months are peaceful and beautiful.

My best to you, Devon
USA

What a very difficult post to comment on, without sounding glib. All I can say is that I do hope that your "feeling well" times last longer than your "not feeling so well" times, if that is at all possible.

My dear Adrian

Nothing I say will be any use - but we have been constantly thinking of you and your family through all of this. It is an absolutely rotten time you`ve had - you have been incredibly brave both with making this ultimate decision and with telling the world about it.

Live and enjoy your time with your family & friends.
Take Care, my friend.

Liz

Dear Adrian

I can only say how utterly gutted I am, I must say that reading your BLOGS has been a very grounding experience we all get so wrapped up in the triviality of life and we forget just how fragile it actually is. I would just like to send support to you and your family. I can only imagine how you feel we all know we are going to die but to face it full on is a very scary prospect for even the most resolute of us and I think the maxime of living life a day at a time, at this time is not a frivolous remark but actaully very accurate. May I wish you peaceful and loving thoughts. And keep laughing and smiling, optimism is the only option we have. Dear Adrian you are unfortunately only human and we are ultimately frail creatures but you are exceptional non the less.

Hi, Me again.

Forgot to say for someone I have never met you have had a profound affect on me, your honesty and frailty is quite moving and I can only think that you have been of great support to other people going through similiar life shattering experiences. It is totally unfair that someone so obviously vibrant should have a full stop on life presented to him and you are totally right to feel hard done by and pissed off at the hand you have been dealt. Keep your family close and let them show you just how much they love you.

Jaqui x

Dear Adrian

I have never met you obviously but apart from my own 2 sons and daughter, you are the most wonderful young man I have ever had the fortune to blog to. Your personality shines through your writing which you deliver with a maturity beyond your years. The way you have described the medical and emotional events of the past 18 months has been with such clarity and humour, I think that you deserve every writing prize on offer. Many people have to face adversity in their lives but few do it with such dignity. Your parents, grandparents, sister and friends must be exceptionally proud and full of love for you.

I want to thank you because although I am a relatively new addition to your blog, I have found it a comfort to be able to put in words my own fears for my son's well being whilst being continuously strong in front of him and his siblings. It has been so easy to relate what you are going through to date and it has left me feeling less alone with it all.

I still cannot get my head around the reason that such lovely, healthy, bright young men should be prone to such a terrible illness.

I hope that you manage to achieve all the things that you want to do in the time ahead, including lots of love and laughter.

With love and hugs from one of many strangers whose lives you have touched,

Sally x

Hi Adrian,

I hoped I wouldn't ever have to read the words you just posted.
I'm so sorry, you don't deserve this outcome. The fact that you made the decision to halt further treatment is important, and I understand it.
I hope you keep posting your thoughts and feelings for as long as possible, your blog has been and continues to be inspirational, humourous and refreshingly honest.

It's so hard to find the right words at the moment. I just wish I could give you a hug.

Catherine x

Adrian, I just want to say that I saw your feature on Calender tonight. I think you're one hell of a bloke. I am O resus negative if I can be any good to you I would walk barefoot on broken glass to donate for you. I have been through a lot of personal stuff this last few years but feel ashamed of how I have dealt with it when I think of your strength.I wish you the best of luck in your fight and ask you to remember that you are inspirational....to a lot of people out here. Be strong mate and good luck .....Mark

I tried to wtite something and have deleted it and started again at least ten times. I'm sure many people are in the same situation, it is just too much to take in and make sense of.

Your strength and courage still amaze me, and I just hope I can hold it together to be the friend you deserve. Lets get some fun things planned.. Campervan is ready for it's maiden voyage.. roadtrip!

All the Hunter family send their love. xxx

I am one of the strangers whose life you have touched. I am new to reading your blog (saw it first in the Daily Mail) and I have to say how very very sorry I am to hear this news. You have been so strong and brave throughout all of this. I really wish there was some treatment that could help you at this time. Words fail me..... I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family.

Carole

Hello Adrian,
Sorry to hear the latest news but thanks for having the courage to share your thoughts. You have every right to make the choices you are making and I, like many others, can fully understand how you have arrived at this point. All the very best for whatever the future holds and be assured that I shall be wishing you peace of mind and sincerely hope you can enjoy the rest of your life.Baldy's Blog has already been a shining beacon so believe me you have already helped many people.Best wishes Adrian and regards to your loving, caring family. Diane.

AD,

Like many of your friends and family I am still trying to come to terms with this latest news. I guess I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and this way I get to re-type this message again and again until I figure out what to say (and believe me I have).
I've always admired your strength and determination throughout this journey. Despite being dealt such a bad hand you've managed to use your amazing talent to help dispel some of the myths about your disease. Like many others I've found myself sitting at the computer laughing at one chapter before crying at another. I think you are a truly remarkable individual and a role model to so many people. I know from reading the many comments you get that you have given hope to so many people who have found themselves in a similar position.
For them reading this blog who don't know AD personally, I can assure you that you are the unlucky ones. It would seem that it has being decided that you will have to live the rest of your life without meeting one of life's true hero's. For them that know AD then you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Well, I'm sure this is not worded as well as the blog itself but as I fight back the tears I have one thing left to ask you AD. When are we going ski diving?

Gav x

I have been reading your blog, since I heard of you in the Daily Mail. I am so sorry to hear of your devastating news, and can't begin to imagine how you and your family must be feeling. Your positive attitude and encouragement to other cancer sufferers is amazing. As a christian I have been praying for you, in the knowledge that prayer and faith has worked for others. Please check out the story of Mary Self from Rhiwbina church in Cardiff, I believe she is still on BT internet for her web address. As a fellow cancer sufferer, although not to the same degree, I want to thank you for your courage and your honesty. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Adrian

I thought I had issues and problems in my life! You really have made me take stock and realise what is important and what is not. Best wishes to yourself, your friends and family. You are an inspiration.

hi Adrian,
You obviously dont know me(but it could be arranged,haha)
Me and my mum have been following your blog since the beginning and tonight after finding out your latest news are real pissed off to say the least!
my mum was diagnosed with CML in may 2000, she had a BMT in 2001 and she can relate alot to the infections and set backs that you have also encounted on the road to normality and is still working on it(but she was abit of a freak before she got it...it happens to the best of us)!!!!!
The only advice we can offer not that we're professionals or owt, is u can't keep a good man down!
We all have challenges in life,my mums and yours being the same challenge, ''fight the fu**er!!! ha!
They say your chances would be 20% if you continue treatment, then as my grandad has always taught us ''grasp the nettle'' (im sure u dont need that explaining but take what you can when u can..go for it my son,ha!
look at it like this; you have ten balls( not you personally!) 8 are black and 2 are red...how do u know if you dont take the chance that you could grab a red un!
another 1 of my grandad's sayings,bless him, is ALWAYS have a positive mental attitude! and reading your blog, its carried you this far, why not further?
dont give up the fight! you have got the personality, the brains and the looks(apart from the flapjack one, ohh, id like to thankyou too, i can never eat it again!) the family and friends behind you!!!
hope to read in the future of your further treatment and ''GREAT SUCCESS''!
with our very best wishes,
Lauren and my mum Kerry!

xx

I'm sorry mate. That's all I can really say.

Sorry. And I hope you find peace in the coming months.

My thought's are with you.

R

Your blog did reach it's goal for being a shining hope for others. Living whatever time we have is the point of life. You have shown us that.

I'm so sorry about your news. I wish you peace and as many hours of happiness as possible.

Hi Adrian, I am gutted to read your last few posts. I too, had been hoping for the outcome you yourself had hoped for.

I completely understand your choice re no more chemo. To feel utterly crap from the chemo would be such a waste. Now is the time for living. For enjoying. For big belly laughs. For spending time with people you love and finding something brilliant in each day.

Don't know if you've ever heard of Ian Gawler from the Gawler Foundation here in Australia? He was diagnosed with advanced bone cancer thirty odd years ago and given weeks to live. Through a combination of juices, organic vege diet, meditation he is alive today. I went to his foundation only a couple of months after I was diagnosed and did the ten day live in course. For me, it was a turning point and one where I started to take responsibility for my own health decisions and not just relying on the drs to advise what I needed to do.

Remember, right here and now you're alive. Make the most of it and don't give up until all options are exhausted. You've a fine, strong spirit and one that has drawn so many people to you. Take care and big hug, Steph

Adrian- I have been following you for more than a year, and throughout a dark period in my life you were and are one of the most amazing and inspirational people imaginable. It is so rare for one person to touch so many in a real, tangible way like you have. I imagine you would have preferred to live a "normal", anonymous existence rather than deal with the crap that came your way. But the fact is you were dealt this hand and you have played it with honour, good humour and courage. You are a brother, son, husband, father and friend to many throughout the world. Thank you for reaching out and helping so many people, especially at your darkest times. I wish you sunshine and love Adrian.
Amanda x

Hi Adrian,
All I can think of to say is a huge THANKS to you for your honesty and courage in sharing your story with us. Information about the devastating impact of blood cancers on peoples' lives, especially young lives like yours has reached a new wide audience thanks to your blog.
Looking forward to reading your future instalments.
Adrian I am lost for words...
Sending love to you and your family.
Clare

I have been reading your blog for a long time but never commented before. And at this moment words fail me as to what to say. I will simply say thank you for sharing your experiences, both good and bad, with a style filled with wisdom, humor and grace. You will be in my thoughts.

Hey adrian,
my name's beth and i live in dubai, in the united arab emirates. Sara Wright, my english teacher knows your dad. She told us today, we just want you to know that we are so proud of you. Your a kind, caring man and i look up to you. You wouldn't believe how many people cried today, you make me feel so selfish to know how selfless you are. Good luck- i hope all goes well for you. We are here for you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank youu for this im so proud of you i think your so brave and selfless, your a ture hero to me and alot of people i no, i really dont no how or what to say to you but thank you,

i really relized alot reading this from you
i feel like i will change and become alot alot less selfish to people around me im going to tel my famioly that i lovee themm now

Thankkyouu

hayley xxx

There is nothing that can be said, but i will steal the lines of someone else's poem to say what i feel.

'My Candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night.
But ah my foes and oh my friends it gives a lovely light'

Have fun and enjoy every last minute. xxx

Dear Adrian, you are an inspiration to us all,the way you have written about yourself and your battle with this terrible disease has shown your strength, courage and brilliant sense of humour, you have touched us all. Wishing you time to have some fun and be with your family and friends.

Nickix

Never think for a moment that your blog is not a "shining beacon" because the outcome is not a victory over cancer. Your blog is a trumpeting of your life, ability to fight and a method of enlightening communication hundreds are touched by and will continue to be so. It's ability to be a beacon was never dependent on a particular outcome..it has always been so.
i shared your situation/blog with my Year 10 class today, you will be hearing from them. Their response? Two fold ..complete respect for you...how selfish they are.
They are going home today (various parts of Dubai) to make sure their family knows how much they love them (their words and ideas not mine) They have vowed to be nicer to each other and to recognise what is actually important in life.
You see the effect you are having.. thousands of miles away??? That's your beacon!!!!Shine on!
Sara.

What a wonderfully brave man your are. You have been EXCEPTIONALLY unlucky! However I do think that although you wanted this piece to be the happy ending we had all routed for you are going to be one of these men who will never know what they achieved by writing this blog. You have made your choice and this was right for you so you have made the right choice. You only have to read the blogs to know that you will never be unsupported in the decisions you make. Your courage and inspiration will go on for anyone who has had the privilege of getting to know you or who like me has read your blogs. I am not sure how you manage it but your dignity is something to be held up on a plinth. Best of luck I know that sounds stupid and enjoy whatever is left to the best of your ability. You will have placed a light in most people's life that will never be extinguished.

Henny

Adrian - really sad to read this, reading your Blog has been a very humbling expereince, and one that has had an impact on my own outlook of CML. There is nothing a virtual stranger like myself can say in these circumstances, except if you need anythign just let me know.

Rob at http://cmlblog.spaces.live.com

I hoped I'd never read a blog post like the one above as much as you hoped you'd never write it. I can't explain how sorry I am to hear it.

Big hugs Adrian, I'm sure you made the right decision about treatment. Enjoy the time with friends & family and keep making everyone smile, like you always do :-)

Cath xx

Hi Adrian

Can I just say thanks for sharing your highs and lows with us. I've often thought of you when I have been fussing over some minor problem in life and remembered that despite, your situation, you have still had the power and skill with words to make me and many more laugh out loud. You're a good journalist and a good bloke. Rob.

Dear Adrian

I was so nervous when I logged onto your blog today - I was hoping for good news.

How can life be so cruel to really good people and seem to be kind for really bad people?

All I can think of (and I am not a religous person at all) is that some people are angels walking on earth to teach others how to be. When their job is done they go back to where they came.

You are an angel Adrian and you have certainly done your job here on earth by showing so many of us how to have true courage, hope and love. You truly are inspirational.

My thoughts and love are sent to you and your family.

I am also hoping for a miracle to happen.

Kerry XXX

adrian,
i dont know what to say really, i'm gutted totally. i was so sure you were going to beat this.

make the most of your time, do something crazy!! i dont know run naked thru town if you're up for it! thats what i would do!

speaking from personal experience,knowing things are coming to end can help family and friends. you get to say the things you want to, to those you love.

you will be in my thoughts,
i hope we will still hear from you

best wishes
Jo xx

I first read about you in the Daily Mail and have been reading your blog ever since. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us, and it just makes you realise how much we take our health for granted. I will be praying so hard for you, i just think you are so amazing. Vicky

Adrian

Today when i got up i thought to myself i will need to log on and see how things are. I just cant believe the news. My heart and thoughts go to you and your family. I can understand your desion on no more and like us all we hope we can understand why - how can we unless we have been through this horribe thing? I only wish I had known about your blog before it was in the Daily Mail as I would have loved to have given you more words of support. I hope and hope that you have a fun time over the next while and fill every day with love and laugh with your friends and family. Your simply wounderful and a insperation to every person you have touched in your life. Another thing is THANK YOU for this blog and giving us an understanding on this horrible subject. As I said in my first message i will be regestering to be a doner for bone marrow and I started to arrange this now. Keep strong and have FUN.

Cheers

Derek (someone you dont know but have touched)

Hi Adrian

I just want to say how much you have enriched my life both through meeting you in Namibia and reading your blog.

Remember all the good times we shared and the fun we had during those months. We all achieved so much, but you have gone on to so much more.

I wish with all my heart that you could continue your travels and get married and have children.

I am so proud to have known you, even for a short time.

My thoughts will always be with you

Anne xx

Damn. I hoped that I'd never have to read that post.

Baldy's Blog will still be a shining beacon- not only for your incredible bravery and consistently informative and moving writing about your experiences, but because it's important for people to read about all aspects of cancer. Making your own choice about your treatment in no way negates anything that you have written about or suffered- it's an example of a special kind of courage and peace with your own decisions.

I wish you love and laughter with family and friends, and thank you for sharing so much of your journey with us.

Adrian,
I just wanted you to know how reading your blog has put life in perspective for me..
Never again will I feel irritated by bad drivers, delays on the tube, bad days at work...
It is the important things that matter.. spending time with friends and family and making sure they know you love them. Making the most of the precious time you have..
Your blog, be assured, does shine out like a beacon. Your outstanding courage and dignity in the face of such adversity are an inspiration both to me and to many others.. that is your gift to us.. and a very precious one. You have touched the lives of many, even those who have not been fortunate enough to meet you personally.

I was praying that the outcome would be different for you and I was actually in tears as I read your blog. I agree very much with an earlier post. There is a quote I wanted to share "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." ~Luciano de Crescenzo- You have certainly, through sharing your experiences been helping others to fly and now it is our turn to show you love and support when you need it.
Love and prayers,
Laura
X

Adrian,

What can I say that already hasn't been said?

What an inspiration you truly are.

You deserve all the plaudits and praise you get. Above all, your bravery is astounding.

Stay strong and good luck. There's so many people thinking about you, Adrian.

Gavin.

Go do something that your heart desires...go enjoy all that surrounds you!
My thoughts are with you and yours...
Jo
xxx

Really sorry to hear your news. You have been a true inspiration to many people. Enjoy your time with your family and friends.

Dearest Adrian

We're so very very sorry to hear of your sad news, life is so very cruel and unfair, you are a truely remarkable person. As you, Adrian the person and also in the way you have conducted yourself and coped with this horrible illness.

We first met you way back, I think it was in 1992, when you were dressed up in your 'tails' for your Uncle J & Auty P's wedding. You were a 'ray of sunshine then, and you still are. You always will be.

We all, as a family think the world of you and you are in our thoughts and prayers every day.

May your time with family and friends be full of love, laughter and comfort.

Take care and God Bless
Let's pray for a miracle....

Lots and lots of love to you, Carrie, Mum, Dad,
Grandma, Grandad, J, P & H.
XXXXXXX

Lynda, Garry and James

words fail me at this time, love to you dear adrian and your family. pamela xxx

Adrian,

Sorry to hear your news. We're all thinking of you and think you've shown an incredible amount of bravery through your illness and in choosing to write about your experience.

If there is anything we can do please let us know.

Serena
Press Office, Leukaemia Research

hello baldy i just wanna say how how much u have opened my eyes even more to the world out side i only saw your story last nite on calender and was amazed at ur utter stenth and bravery uy r one of a kind and i hope something will work out for you soon we are thinking of you robyn (rotherham)xx

I don't even know you, but I'm sat at my desk at work crying. I am so sorry.

I have every reason to believe that you will make the most of the time you have left, be it weeks or months, or who knows maybe even a little bit longer. Hugs xxx

Hi Adrian
Words cannot describe how I felt when I got the phonecall from P yesterday. We've all wept buckets. Your blog has been read avidly by all of us and been an absolute inspiration. You truly don't deserve the outcome you have.
Thinking of you, and all the family with all our love.
Hilary, Rod and James XXX

Hi Adrian

I haven't been on your blog before but I have followed your story in the Examiner. I am absolutely devastated at this latest turn of events, and I have to say you are the bravest person I know. I hope whatever time you have left is as pain free as possible, and that you and your family can enjoy each other as best you can. My heart feels very heavy after reading this news, and you are in my thoughts.
I wish you all the best for the coming weeks, and hope that you can find peace in the end.
Lots of love, Joanna

Hi Adrian,

We have never met, and I have only just been pointed in the direction of your very poignant blog.

I have read back several entries, and I think I can identify with most of the emotions that you have described. I am a lymphoma patient, and like you have been through the cycle of chemo, transplants, hope, disappointment, treatment, transplant etc with the last transplant from a donor (which was when I started writing my blog 2 1/2 years ago.) It hasn't been plain sailing since then, but that isn't really important, although the tales of GvHd are all too familiar!

It is a roller-coaster of a journey - a bit like running down a path to a cliff edge - hoping that the path will turn away just in time. In your case, its not so much a path as a pretty undefined track, as I think your conditions have gone into new territory.

You have been very frank in your blog, and about your decisions for further treatment. All I can say it that I admire your bravery and honesty and I hope that whatever length of life is left to you is as fulfilling as it can be under the circumstances.

My thoughts are wih you and your family.

Gutted to hear the news. I have never written before but have followed you all along your journey.

My sister Karen was only 23 years old when she died one year after being diagnosed with CML. Like you she was a bright, beautiful and articulate person who had everything to live for. Reading your blog has in some strange sense enabled me to almost re-live a part of our last year together which of course had its tough times but we also shared some of the most beautiful times together.

It will be ten years this September that she died and I cannot believe that it has been so long. However her soul is still so obviously with us and not a day goes by when she is not remembered. Just because we cannot physically see, touch, hear or smell the person they are still as much part of our lives as they have always been. Infact I am sure Karen has had a much stronger influence on me than if she was still here as I have been working for the Anthony Nolan Trust for the last nine years!

You are an amazing person. I never had the privilige of meeting you but you have certainly touched my life and I know I do not speak alone. We will always remember you and keep you in a special place in our hearts.

Enjoy the time you have with your family and friends. Keep smiling in the knoweldge you have always done the very best you can.

Debby
x

Adrian,

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

I hope it's some comfort to you to know how much you've touched the lives of so many people.

When my wife Donna was going through chemo, radiotherapy and then a bone marrow transplant last year I used to print your blog for her to read. It was such a great help for her to know that all the emotions and physical effects weren't unique to her. You were able in your words to voice many of her feelings and help us both through a difficult time. I can't thank you enough for that.

I'll never forget the moment the Doctor told us Donnas treatment hadn't worked and can only hope you didn't have to go through that on your own.

There's little anyone can say really. I'm sure there will be dark days ahead but the love of your family and friends will be a great support.

Best wishes Adrian and thanks again.

Greg x

Hey Baldy,

I also have CML and had rotten luck with Gleevic. I switched to Sprycel and am doing much better. There are other second generation drugs that can replace Gleevic and perhaps give better results. I wish you wouldn't stop fighting. I hate to see CML win. You never know what could happen to enrich your life, something or someone may come along in the near future. Please don't give up.

Lisa

Adrian
I am so so sorry to hear your latest news. After all you have been through you do not deserve this outcome.

Take comfort from your family and all the thousands of people you have reached through your blog who are still praying for a miracle.

Thank you for being an inspiration to fellow cancer sufferers and you will continue to do so.

Elaine xxx

im so sad to hear of your news. ive kept up with your story via the Examiner. it can be a cruel world

i really hope you enjoy your time left with your family and friends in comfort. My heart is with you.

x

Adrian,

I cannot add anything that hasn't already been said but if I could cut off my arm to save a bloke like you, I would.

Hi AD

I've only written on your blog a couple of times and that was to shamelessly plug my marathon run for the Anthony Nolan Trust. I'm one of the lucky ones to know you personally have been able to pick up the phone or meet up with you and talk to you directly. What I want people to know is that AD's bravery, humour and incredible passion for life is not just a temporary thing for this blog. It is there every second that he is awake. It is, and always has been totally infectious. It is impossible to come away from a phone call or meeting without laughing and covering every subject possible from world politics to liverpool fashion trends.
It was an honour to ask you to be my Best Man and I am simply devastated that it looks like you will not be able to make it. However in true AD style I can't wait for the video speech - don't forget to leave pauses for the punch lines!!
As everyone from Liverpool University knows, you are 'the one and only'
Looking forward to spending some time together.

Philx

Hey AD.

I have spent a long time today considering what to write but lacking divine inspiration or the way of Dylan, Young or David with a word, I am going to stop procrastinating and get on with it.

First of all, leaving aside the time you left Jamiroquai playing on repeat in your room at halls for a whole day while I was (for once) revising, you are one of the most fantastic, genuine people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Secondly, whatever your thoughts on the matter, the good wishes of so many people, be it family, friends or complete strangers, are with you as a result of your immense effort in sharing your rollercoaster of a story.

The illness itself may have been the hook in getting people to read this but all of those good wishes are down to peoples' respect and love for the strength of your personality, your (verging on brutal) honesty and the very essence of your humorous spirit. Craig David indeed.

Finally, and without wishing to extend into hyperbole, you have left an indelible mark on the hearts of so many people with this blog and the way you have conducted yourself throughout. You should be justifiably proud of that; it's more than most can hope to achieve in a lifetime.

I just want you to know that you're nothing short of an inspiration to all, and to me in particular mate. Please enjoy what you have left and here's to hoping it's much more than you expect.

All my love

Ant

I've been reading your blog for a while now but have never posted a reply. This entry has me in tears. I am so moved that after receiving such awful news, you're still so strong and brave. I think you're amazing and I really admire you and just felt compelled to say so.

I'm so sorry x

hi Adrian,
I am so sorry. What an amazing person and insiration to many of us. My thoughts are with you love Karen xxx

Adrian
My mum told me to look at this site, she works for Blue crest caterhire- I think your Dad spoke to her recently...
I really wanted to read your story so far...
after I wiped the tears away I just wanted to say you will be an inspiration to a lot of people and you have made me look at my own life in a very different way.
I know I have never met you but I am sending you lots of positivness!!!If there ever was such a word!
Donna

Hi again

Been thinking about you ever since reading your news. Been thinking about you again when I read the news in the Examiner today. I feel so, very sorry in fact worse than sorry. I don't think I can find the words to express how sad I feel without getting carried away with emotions and words. Like you, I spend a lot of my time writing, so I'm always searching for the 'right words'. This time, words fail me.

However, I just want to say that I think you've touched people in a very special and unique way and perhaps brought out the best in human nature. It's so touching to read how strangers have responded to your words and 'speak' to you with such affection.

It really is a gift if you can write words that can touch people's hearts and move them to think and feel in a different way. That has to be one of the most significant achievements of your life - your legacy perhaps?

Your right about life - the only guarantee is that we get in life is that we will die. We're not entitled to anything else - happy marriages, kids, health, money etc. We think we are, but we're not. We have to make the best of what we have if we can. My theory sort of breaks down for people starving in Africa who can't 'make the best of what they've got' but generally I think the theory is true.

Keep writing and keep posting.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Hello Adrian,
The news hurt so much and I have never even met you but you have reached so many people with your courage and humanity.
I believe one's spirit stays around the people and places we love. You are and will be in so many people's heart and thoughts forever. You have helped so many people: what an achievement! What an inspiration you are!You have reminded us (and we need to be reminded!) what is important as we often stray into despair for the most pathetic reasons. You are a voice in our heads telling us to rise above small hiccups, and unpleasantness from people who don't really matter.You have made us stronger. When a pupil told me to ' f--k off' I nearly said' I wish I could, instead of trying to drill some ' b----y' French into you'!! Usually I would probably cry at the end of the day!So thank you. Lots of love to you and your family,
Brigitte

Adrian, you have had more of an impact on this world and its inhabitants than most people three times your age. It is a better place for having had you in it. None of us knows exactly how long you have left, but it is safe to say that, however long that is, your influence will outlast you. I have met you only a handful of times, though your reputation (as, officially, "the nicest guy in the world") preceded you. It is a reputation that is well deserved. In a world full of people who are quick to judge, to see the bad in others, I have never heard a word said against you. That is truly a rarity. If your situation proves one thing, it is that there is no justice. Your defiance in the face of that reality is humbling.

No further treatment. Those words can sound so scary to people who have not had cancer and have not been run through the medical mill over and over. But I know the relief that those words can offer. No more questioning every decision, every treatment option, no researching tons of information on the internet. Now you can focus on you, your family and friends.
I have been a lurker, and truly enjoy reading your blog. I am also so sorry that you had to go through all of this.

Adrian, as a fellow journalist who has had his own battle with cancer, my thoughts are with you. I've come late to your blog but that hasn't made the experience any the less moving. God be with you and yours.

Adrian,

Words cannot express how sad I am that it has come to this. I am absolutely gutted for you. I just wanted to say how much I admire you for the way in which you have dealt with this cruel illness, you are the most AMAZING person who has truly changed the way in which I, and I am sure others think.

I now cherish my friends and family, as none of us know what is around the corner. It is the important things that matter.

I just wish that there was something I could do to make you better again. I am praying for a miracle to happen, so you will be back at work where you belong.

Lots of love and hugs

Sarah x

WOW! I just heard the end of your interview on FiveLive and came here to see what it was all about. You seem like a wonderful, brave person. All the very best to you and your family
LizSil

Just heard you on Radio 5 Live and was utterly inspired.

Your family must be enormously proud to have a bloke like you in their midst.

Hi Adrian,

Just heard your extremely moving interview on BBC 5Live. I'm pretty much lost for words. I admire your courage during this time and wish you happiness in the time you have left with us.

Dear Adrian, I am so sorry to learn of your news. You remind me very much of my late husband who battled against leukaemia four years ago. I am sorry to say that he lost his battle. Your story and his are so alike. I know that your friends and family are all supporting you. Let them do everything they can for you. It will be their way of staying as close to you as they can. My heart goes out to you and your family. You are an inspiration to them and I'm certain that your bravery will give them strength too.

With love
Anne

God bless you mate. Your bravery will be a proper lasting legacy.

you are and will continue to be a inspirational person. I only found out about you after the R5 programme today. You have touched me with your dignity, honesty and calm. Why do people such as yourself get taken from us.

My best wishes to you my friend. You have made a mark on the many people who's lives you have touched today

Rgds
Dave

Hi Adrian

Just to say how remarkable we think you are. We've just listened to you on 5-Live and know we will be only two of the many people who have clicked onto your blog following your interview with Victoria and read your inspirational blog and followed this up with registering immediately to become bone marrow donors having been blood donors for many years without going that one step further. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You will remain in our thoughts and hearts.

Love Sandra & Phill

AD,

Am absolutely gutted for you mate.
Am also amazed at your bravery. To say you have been 'exceptionally unlucky' is something of an understatement. The way you have dealt with the situation with strength and dignity has been an inspiration to us all.
Unlike you I have never been good at expressing thoughts and emotions with words, but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
Enjoy yourself.
Mark x

Adrian

Can I just say after listening to your interview the first thing I did was to call my fiance and tell her that I love her.

I can't imagine what you have been through, and what you are going through but I can really hear in your voice how you have accepted such terrible bad luck and misfortune. You will have inspired so many people not to take what they have for granted and to help them remember how precious our lives really are.

I hope you can enjoy the time you have left with your family and with Poppy.

I have heard so many story's like this on the radio and on T.V but I can honestly say this is the first time I have felt so moved that I had to write down my feelings.

Best wishes mate. Kristian x

Oh my dear Adrian,

I don't know what to say to you except that my life has been touched by yours and your courage, sensitivity, maturity and humour.

You are a very, very special man and your spirit will never die.

Live your life my friend: God will hold you and your loved ones in his arms, always.

Love, thoughts and prayers.

Julia

Good morning, just heard you on the radio., Myself Im in remission and I feel VERY guilty about it. I dont know why I just do. I now feel the clock is ticking for me so I have been doing thing that I would not have done before. i.e cooking (not bake beans on toast) the real stuff, Lear to fly a, even playing the guitar (again).

My heart and sole goes to you and family. and I hope you enjoy you football game. Phil

Adrian,

Having just heard your interview on 5Live, I felt like I just had to write in to your blog and let you know that I struggle to think of anyone whose story has affected me in such a way as yours does. I wish you long and everlasting happiness. Your bravery is humbling to those of us who moan about the small irrelevant things in life.

To quote an often overused phrase, but in this instance cannot be more poignant - "You'll Never Walk Alone" Adrian. God bless.

Sean.

I'm so, so sorry to hear the news. Been following your story on Hold The Front Page and on your blog. Love your attitude and sense of humour - it's been a real kick up the backside for me to stop moaning and make the most of what I have. You're in my thoughts and here's hoping there are plenty more blogs to come. Take care, Lizzy x

What an amazing person you are

I Will be thinking of you

God bless you

With love
Rosalindx

Dear Adrian
Having heard about you for the first time on the radio this morning I just felt that I had to write something on your blog. It is incredibly difficult to put into words how you and your life so far have moved me. Whatever I write will sound trite and contrived, but I just want to say that your story has moved me incredibly and I can only wish you all the love in the world. May the time you have remaining be filled with love and fun. If you get to the FA cup tomorrow enjoy yourself.
Respect and love Ann x

Dear Adrian, I just heard your interview on R5 and to say I was touched is so much of an understatement. I will become a donor and that is because of you.
You are an inspiration to all, I shall be telling everyone I know to read your blog and sign up to the donor scheme.

The words “Brave� and “Dignified� are overused these days, but neither word can do justice to you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dennis

Hi Adrian,

We have been keeping up to date with your blog and are all really sorry to hear the news.

You are an inspiration to all of us and we are sure you have been to many others.

Take care,

Norton college journalism students x

You gorgeous, brave, amazing man.
You have shared so much with us all and it has been an honour and inspiration to read your posts; they have indeed been the beacon of light that you wanted them to be.
I think you're utterly wonderful.
With very much love,
Kate xxx

ell Adrian after all the wonderful things you have written about your thoughts ! and yes why can't England wonderful health service ! do the same like Germany for its people ! puts everything into perspective eh ! reading about you well my sweetboy you will live on forever!!!because one day you will wake up and be in paradise !! love Barbara

AD, it really is impossible for me to write here how I really feel. I was up til late last nite looking through all our Uni pictures from way back. It only seems like yesterday we lived in the house of Malik when you moved into my old room having to endure my Elton obsession, playing for the mighty Tiber and going to the Razz!! Much has happened since then. The most recent being how much you have inspired me and everybody I know who has read your blog. The courage you have showed never surprised me because I know what an cracking lad you are. Some things just aren't fair.

Memories can never die.

Dr Gazz xxxxxxx

Dear Adrian
Not much left for me to say after reading all the comments already posted. But all the best to you,enjoy every day as it comes, my thoughts are with you.God Bless
Betty x

by a mile the bravest person i've heard of, i too had leukaemia and am lucky enough to come through the other side, my heart really does go out to you and you are truly a special, unique person!!! best wishes Luke Williams

Dear Adrian. Read about you for the first time.

You said you wanted to provide a beacon for people in the world of blood cancers. Well you have. To echo Sara in Dubai, the measure of your success is not whether you live or die, but how.

You have touched so many people and helped them to do better by themselves and others. As the saying sort of goes, a butterfly flaps its wings, and somewhere a tidal wave results. You have created a tsunami of inspiration, of better people, better thoughts, better actions. You have created a legacy.

You also wanted to show that people can live from cancer. Well, you have. I join the ranks of the many survivors who have left comments on your blog... Hodgkins disease (a lymphoma) in 1980 aged 18, breast cancer 19 years later. And still here to tell the tale another 9 years down the line.

One final thing. Cancer is a battleground, but it is not the war. You may lose this last set-to, but oh boy, you have won the war game set and match. You have lived and will die with courage, honesty, humility, integrity, compassion and most of all, love. And as a result, others will try harder to do the same.

Thank you for reminding me to be a better person. And to paraphrase Dave Allen, may your god stay with you and support you the rest of your journey, wherever it takes you.

Wow. I have just read your story in today's Mirror and felt I had to check the blog out. I'll be honest, I lost my Mum to AML 18 months ago- she endured 4 months of treatment before the chemo basically wiped her out. She never realyl stood a chance. To see that you've been able to visit family and friends and to spread the word is amazing. You're a true inspiration and ou should be very proud of your fight against a disease that is ultimately more powerful than medicine, but not the human spirit. I'm thinking of you- stay strong. Much love, Charlotte xx

Hi Adrian

So very sorry to hear this news - I wanted to cry when I first read it but then I thought, if you can be so strong with this burden I'm sure you don't need my tears.

I have been on the Bone Marrow Register with the National Blood Service for about five years and last year I received a request to see if I was a good enough match for a patient in Germany. I was so pleased and honoured to be asked and never gave a thought to any pain or inconvenience it might have caused I just really wanted to help no matter what. I had a blood test in February and, unfortunately, in May I received a letter saying that they had found a better match elsewhere. I was so disappointed that I could not donate my bone-marrow but I am still on the register and hope someday that I will be able to, hopefully, help someone who really needs it.

I really wish there was something we could all do to help you.

Love
Sharon
X

Dear Adrian,
I heard your interview on R5 today and I wanted to write to you to tell you what an amazing human being you are.

I have been reading your blog all day and think I've gone through every range of emotion to the point where I feel like I actually know you, which is a strange but wonderful feeling. Your writing is honest, humorous, brave and inspirational.

I wanted to thank you; to give something back, so I've completed the donor forms and emailed your blog address to everyone i know. I've asked them to register and to forward to their contacts too. Lets fill that donor register!

You are making a difference mate and this makes you shine.

With love, laughter and strength to you and your loved ones.

Hayley x

Dear Adrian, I am so very sorry to hear your news. I have been following your blog since I read about you in The Daily Mail. You truly are an amazing and courageous person. A real inspiration to everyone who's lives you have touched. Enjoy what time you have with your family and friends. I just am so sorry, after all you have been though, the outcome could not have been different. My love and thoughts are with you. Love Margaret

Dear Adrian,

I'm so sorry. I'm glad you've been able to choose for yourself (while realising that the need to make that heartbreaking choice has been thrust, unsought, upon you).

Thank you for having the courage to share with us your thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams and sadness.

Tie yourself to the mast, my friend (as the song says), and keep dancing until the fat lady sings.

Thinking of you, Pru

Adrian, I have not been on here for a while and I am in tears as I write this, I am sooo sorry. I don`t know what to say, only that you are one of the bravest people I have had the pleasure of writing to, I will be thinking of you and if you need anything at all, just email me, my address is on Beckys caringbridge site. Lots of love and hugs, Dawn xxxxxxx

well all I can say is your an inspiration !!!!
My son like you had a transplant but unfortunatly his returned very quickly too and he too had the same decision as you do now
he chose not to carry on the treatment and we had a plan on what he wanted to do
He with the help of family did everything he wanted .he passed 9 months after the dreaded decision I will never know where his strenth came from and I see the same strenth in you
my son was 10 years old but to talk to him he was more like a 20 year old
you too have an inner strenth ,you have too !
From one mother to one mothers son
I pray you have support love and strenth
may god bless you with the precious time you need to do what you really want
bless you

Adrian

What a man... My son died at the age of 18, in fact it's his 5th anniversary today. He died in an accident and has left us all devestated.

I've just seen you n the TV and felt I had to send you a message to say bless you, You are a wonderful person, how gorgeous you are and how you have touched so many people's lives.

Take care Adrian, enjoy the time you have left and live it for YOU.

I will be thinking of you.....
Lots of Love Helen
xxxxxxx

i just wanted to say you are amazing. i think you are a very strong person and extremly brave. i hope this website does create awareness to others. i think its great that you want to help others out there. you are fantastic!
Even through everything you have gone through you are still thinking about others and wanting to make a difference. i respect u.
The world needs more people like you!

If I had a wish I would summon a barrow
With fast big fat wheels you could steer
I'd load the thing up with compatible marrow
And extract the pain and the fear
I'd label it up with directions to SUDDERS
And make sure it got there tonight
To help me, I'd nick all the best big boat rudders
And call that leukaemia "SHITE"
For trying to steal a young life in it's prime
And stamping on all a man's hopes
For ringing a bell and for just calling time
And axing the rescuer's ropes
If I had a wish I would summon a barrow
With fast big fat wheels you could steer
I'd load the thing up with compatible marrow
Then buy that bloke SUDDERS a beer!

Beanie x

Heard you on 5 live this morning What a complete inspiration and example you are Your blog is and will continue to shine as a beacon oh so brightly Enjoy every moment with your friends and family who whilst gutted must be so proud Next stop checking out bone marrow donation Lots of love

Adrian,i heard you on radio five live this morning.It was so moving, you are so brave . I will donate ny bone marrow as soon as is possible and have urged all friend and colleagues to look into it also. lots to say but how , just enjoy yourself mate like you said you would.You said you have found peace,that made me look at my life ,and i will endeavour to do so, ultimately helping others.
God bless .Mat cook kidderminster

Hello Adrian

I just want to say what an inspiration you are.

Your mates Tom and Zoey introduced me to this blog (I've put up with him at work for 5 years!) and it has been the most humbling, well written insight into this cruel disease. It has and will continue to help so many people.

Thank you for sharing your story.

May you and your loved ones find peace.

Rhian

Adrian

Like many others I heard your interview on R5 today - as soon at it was over I was on here reading your blog.

I am so sorry that your disease has returned. I have the utmost respect for your decision not to continue treatment and your courage to take that decision is amazing.

Please never think that you have not made your mark on this world - I know that many others will have registered as bone marrow donors today (as I have done) and would cite you as their inspiration. You will, in the end, make the difference to many other sufferers who recieve a transplant thanks you and your publicising of your situation.

I hope that whatever time you have left is happy, fulfilling, painfree and fun.

My love to you and your family. Take care and enjoy.

Jx

this is the first time I have read your blog and what a fantastic man you are,I am sat here in tears thinking I would swap places with you,you have so much life left in you its an in justice

There have been very few people I would have called hero, one of them was my dad who died two years ago today and the other is you. What you have given us with your openess, honesty ans strength is priceless. When they next vote for Britain's greatest you will get my vote. My dad said "And to you in the love that was my pride, remember how I lived" and we all will. I have been on the bone marrow donor list since it started and only matched once, I suspect I'm too old now but if i'm not my marrow is for sharing,
love, laughter and hugs too you, thank you, thank you, thank you!! Marie xx

Hi Adrian
I'm so sorry. When Donna died you wrote the tribute to Donna and you also took the time to ring her mum Pat which was a lovely thing to do considering that things weren't going too well for yourself at the time. Pat asked me to let you know that we are thinking about you and your family.
This blog has been a fantastic help to us and to many other people. What a legacy to leave behind. The hospital can explain the facts but not the emotions. It was helpful for Donna to know that her feelings were perfectly normal and it was helpful to us to have procedures explained without constantly having to ask Donna.
This is the cruelist of diseases as even on good days you are still constantly at risk of infection so can't lead a normal life.
Enjoy what's left Adrian and thank you again for your support.

You will always be a part of my life because of this blog....I wish I could trade places with you. You have changed my life forever...

Much Love,
Kat

Adrian,
What can I say, I am so sad to hear your news it feels like a dull thudding ache in my heart.

All I can say is that you are a credit to your family, friends and your girlfriend, and I'm proud to be able to say I know you and trained with you at Harlow College.

Sending loads of love
Lucy
xxx

Adrian, Where there's life there is hope. It is so unfair but where you are now things can't really get any worse so you are almost invincible. Don't ever give up. Life has a funny way of doing the unexpected. I am a foster carer for terminally ill children. The only way to do this job is to accept that they are going to die but give them the best quality of life possible whilst they are still alive. It may sound strange but knowing someone is going to die kind of takes the pressure off nursing them. But do you know what?.....they haven't all died. There is no reason why some people get sick but by the same token there is also no reason why people get better either. Doctors aren't Gods and they often get it wrong. Fingers crossed for you my darling X

Hi Adrian,
I have read your tragic story in the Mirror today, and let me tell you what I'm sure you already know, you are an inspiration to us all. Not so long ago I was very feeling very depressed with life in general, work issues etc that got to a stage where I was contemplating doing something very stupid. Well, my friend you're bravery really does put me to shame and puts my (and probably many others reading your blogs) "problems" into perspective.
So sad to read the break-up with Poppy also, that really must have been so so hard to take.

Keep the faith pal, as Lisa says the world does indeed more people like you - inspirational is a word that hardly does you enough justice.

Adrian

I heard you on 5 Live Today, I had to stop the van and listen to you, I hope youre remaining time is all you hope for, stay strong and remember, if it helps, that you have touched so many people that you will never meet, in such an inspiring way, but who will carry you in there hearts for a long long time.
John

Hi Adrian,
Just read your story in The Mirror newspaper. Christ mate, what a time you have had! Just to let you know you will never be far from my thoughts in the coming days. Like the many thousands of us reading your entries daily around the world, I am with you all the way and beyond matey, ok.
Andrean, UK.
XXX

Adrian, i am so sorry to hear the latest results, i have just seen you on the late look north. You are remarkable and have rightfully gained so so much respect for your bravary, you are truly amazing. I have just lost my last parent very suddenly and im almost managing to keep my chin up, you are an inspiration to everyone. I dont know you personally but i have the upmost admoration and respect for you. god bless you adrian. simon xxx

My cousin died of leukemia, and like you she was unbelievably inspirational. I just want you to know that your legacy will live on, and this what you are doing is a brave thing. I've signed up to donate bone marrow.

Keep shining

Kayla

x

I am not a religious type of guy having a few peole taken from my life prematurel. Your a star in my eyes so I think I might have a chat with the big guy upstairs. Hope he is listening

Take care fella

Andy

I need to tell you you are the bravest n strongest person I have ever come across god speed sweetie

Adrian

Just been listening to your interview on the 5 Live website.

Inspirational mate. I understand your decision on no further treatment. My mam died a couple of years ago from lung cancer and we agonised over whether we should have got her loads of treatment earlier. I saw the effect of the chemo on her and understand why you don't want to go down that route again.

I hope that you achieve all you want with the bone marrow campaign.

All the best
Andy Walker

Hi Adrian, you are such an inspirational individual for us all.
God bless you.

Lots of love and prayers for you.

All the best wishes,
Kiran Bali

Oh mate. It's funny how it takes something this devastating, profound and upsetting to make someone think about the important things in their life. You've done that for me .... and many others who have commented on your blog.
You're an inspiration my friend. Just with this blog you have achieved more and touched more peoples lives than most people do in an uninterupted lifetime.
Bless you. Thinking of you and the family.
Matt

Adrian,

I'm so sorry to hear your latest news. You are in my thoughts - and those of the journalism students at Sheffield College.

There aren't many people of your age who have won such prestigious journalism awards and inspired so many people. I realise that's a double-edged situation - you may well have rather led a mundane life that doesn't lend itself to blogging! But you have seized your own life and made it inspirational for others and that's a brave and ballsy thing to do.

I wish you peace.

Jan

Adrian, I listened to you on radio 5 yesterday .
What a brave and inspirational person. I hope you have much more time than the doctors have reckoned , and that you fill it with joy and happiness.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

God Bless You Adrian, keep strong, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Janice x

hi adrian sorry to hear the latest resulets was not good new for u and your family. hope u can have a good time with our love one befor u have to say good buy to them love from carol xxx

Hi Adrian

I saw you on the news and checked out your blog.

This is one of the best examples of 'making the best out of a chronic situation' I have ever seen.

Your family and friends must be SO PROUD of you.

I will continue to read your blog and if I can support you in any way please contact me.

Keep strong, love and hugs - Lucy XXX

I am speechless. I don't know you very well, but I can tell from your writing that you are a genuine and extraordinary person. I don't know enough adjectives to describe what I think of you. I just want you to know that I don't feel sorry for you. The truth is, I am very proud of you. I am so glad to know that there is someone like you in the world. You bring people inspiration by sharing your knowledge and experience with your words and wit. Many people have cried with you and feel sad for you. It is a great thing to know that YOU make some difference in the world. There are so many people reading your articles. I wouldn't be surprised to see a Chinese version of your book someday in a bookshop!

Awful things happen to great people. Unfortunately, you are one of them. My mother doesn't like when I say the word 'die'. Personally, I think dying is not as awful as most people make it out to be. When my father passed away, I was so sad I thought I would die of a broken heart. At the same time, I felt relieved for him. He was sick for more than ten years before he died. I watched him take 22 pills everyday, and he was disabled because of a stroke...I think that's much worse than death.

You said, 'How can anyone be scared of something that is going to happen to every single one of us?' I smiled when I read that. I completely agree with you. Don't get me wrong, I love life. But death is a part of life. If we love life, why should we despise or be afraid of something that is inevitable?

I wish I could be there for you in person. I haven't been working since the beginning of this year and have plenty of time...too bad that I live in Taiwan...

Elin

You are a remarkable person & a huge inspiration. I send you my love & wish you peace.
John

Life can be very cruel.
I'm truly sorry and my prayers are with you and your family.
You are an inspiration and your attitude and honesty must be a huge comfort to so many people in a similar situation.
You have probably reached out to more people in the last 18 months than most people do in a lifetime.
I really admire you.

All my love

Ellen

Adrian, Im so sorry I dont know what to say. I feel so bad cos the last time I spoke to you was in October before I went to the Falklands and you were recovering well. Im so sorry Ive not been in touch I had no idea, James Chalkley has just come round and hes told me. Would it be possible for me to come and see you? I would love to spend some time with you. Just let me know and if you want to I could get a few people together to visit ya like Lou, Rob and Emma just like a hotel re union! Just let me know. Youre a great guy, Adrian. I apologise for the message I left on your answer phone, I didnt want to sound upset. I think I failed!! See ya soon. Lots of Love Sian xxxxxxx

Hi Adrian, I heard of you for the first time on five live the other day as I sat in my car. You are probably fed up with people using the words corageous and inspirational but what other words can one use. You must have touched so many peoples lives. I am so sorry that you have not had the outcome you would have wished for in your journey with this dreadful illness and I wish you many peaceful and happy days ahead with your loved ones.

Sending you an enormous hug.

Elaine x

There are no words to tell you that will possibly explain what i am thinking...i am so sorry (although that is the wrong thing to say--i'm sure you don't want to hear that) You are without doubt an exceptional person..so strong and totally amazing. I have been through far less and coped so badly...you are a true strength! Please keep fighting, as long as you can!! What an inspiration you are! You have encouraged me to donate and i will now look into it (i was already thinking of doing it anyway but felt a little scared until i read all your blogs!!) Take care...and thank you..xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Adrian
I just wanted to say how sorry i am that you have had this terrible news. You are such a brave man to carry on with your blog while dealing with it all. Youve been,and will remain, an inspiration to people everywhere. I wish you peace
My thoughts are with you
Tracey xxx

You are truly amazing, and forgiving of an illness that is now taking over your life.
I work in palliative care and see so many times how illness affects both the patient and their families. You are an inspiration to all of those who are suffering, who are going to be given news of an illness, and of how you have and can cope with treatment. I was gutted when i saw you on the television the other day, and to be honest it made me cry. Like i said i work with palliative care patients but I dare say I would go to jelly if i was ill. You and others alike who have left legacies in one way or another deserve recognition for all you do...with love Vanessa

I came by your blog by accident.

Having read it, I just want to say: please, please don't leave us!

You are such a strong and brave person!

Hi Ya Aidy,

I am Ben's cousin and I think your blog is incrediable (i'm a terrible speller), I wish you lots smiles from all those dear to you in your time left and your amazingly brave.

I am putting myself on the donor list and am arranging an appointment with my GP this week to organise it, thanks to your Blog.

Thank you for educating me on such a complex matter in such a human,strong, touching and humourous way!

your legacy will live on, and those who are close will keep it alive and bright!

wishing you love and peace.
keep your humour and your strength
Tam
xxx

I wish i could wrap my arms around you to keep you safe.
Shelley xxxx

Ihave followed your story on calendar and i have to say you are a inspiration to evryone.my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.i am sending you a great big hugg keep smiling love christinexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You had prepared us for this Adrian, but it is still painful to read, and I am sure that it has been painful to live and to write.

Thanks you for showing the strength and dignity that comes from many months of dealing with a life-threatening illness and a life-altering treatment. I know that you will be pointing the way for us in the days ahead.

None of this is fair or right in any way. You are in my prayers.

Bill McConnell (GVH list)

My heart goes out to you, I lost my sis last year to cancer and the bravery shown by her has been matched by you. She also cared more about the family and loved ones who would be grieving than she did for herself, her fate accepted. Her death stung me into action and we held what was supposed to be a one off fundraiser, after a lot of thought, I'm returning home from Canada for a few days next year to get the band together again for another fundraiser, I sincerely hope you're around,and that you won't mind us dedicating the event to you, along with my sis.My very best wishes to you,you are one very brave guy.
Alan, Canada

Your family must be very proud of you and it is a cruel cruel world. Having just been diagnosed with cancer I only partly understand what you must be going through but my thoughts are with you and your family and all your friends.
You are an inspiration.

What can I say AD? I really can't believe the news and how brave you're being. Knowing you is a real inspiration and I promise to think about you every time I get myself down over one of life's petty annoyances. I will miss you more than you can imagine and if there's anything I can do then please get in touch.
All my love
Whalley

Hi Adrian,
Just wanted to say you have won me over and I will be joining the donor list very shortly along with my eighteen year old son. Thinking of you.

Love and best wishes

Nikki;)

Adrian,

Very sad to hear the news. Proud that a fellow human being has had the courage and ability to make a difference in the small span that we all share on this planet.

As you say, we all must pass one day, just wrong that someone with such a fantastic gift to communicate honestly, has had so little time to do so.

You're very brave. I wish you peace and the knowledge that there will be one more name on the BM register very soon xx

Dear Adrian
Your blog is very moving,and for me,very personal,as I,too,am 'in remission' from Acute Myeloid Leukamia.Despite my age(now 64) and other complications which lessened my chances of coming through the treatment,I somehow got there,and feel so well.The treatment IS awful but I think if I relapse,I would try it again (if they would let me) as I want to hang on for my family's sake.My thinking is that the longer I am able to stick around,the greater the chance of new treatments,as so much is being done with stem cells and so on,and this is still in its infancy.
I will pray for a miracle for you as you have been so brave and you are so young.God Bless you and your family.
liz

Adrian, your story moves me. After seeing it on 5 news I just felt that I should send some sort of message. In this time of your life, which as you say, we will all have to go through, I just wanted to share a simple message of hope with you. I have a strong faith in Jesus Christ and know that he died for you. I don't know what your views on God are but I hope you'll just take the time to say a simple prayer of repentence and faith in Jesus Christ. I understand that many people may not agree with me in my faith, but I know, and have experienced the Love of God in my life and pray that you do too. God bless. Dom

Hi Adrian
WHAT A MARVEL YOU ARE! For someone so relatively young you are so very wise, giving, inspirational and especially brave.

My heart and love go out to you and also to your WONDERFUL family. They have been soooooo LUCKY to have had such a WONDERFUL person in their lives but my heart also goes out to them as they must let you go.

Be very, very very proud of yourself and what you have done with your life in such a short time with us.

You are always in my prayers and will continue to be so - you have been added to a long list!

I promise you to keep promoting Bone Marrow Donations.

I send you every blessing, love, peace and a BIGGGGGGGG, BIGGGGGG HUG for the coming days and weeks.

Thank you for your life!!
Loads of love, hugs and kisses
Patxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Adrian

I am so sorry to hear of your bad news after everything you have gone through you are so brave. My thoughts are with you, Poppy and your family. Take care and make the best of the time you have. Love Julie xxxx

hi . i dunno wot 2 say 2 u 2 b honest . i only heard ov u 2DAY when watchin chan 5 news . but i was so moved by ur story . i knew i HAD 2 view ur site . i.ve been readin LOADSSSSSSSSSSSS ov the stuff u have written durin ur illness . n also LOADSSSSSSSSSS ov the comments left by ppl 2 u . like ME alot r no doubt STRANGERS 2 u . but ur story has obviously moved n also inspired ALOT ov ppl . hence all the comments u have recieved ! i really hope they ( the comments ) have helped cheer u up abit . @ the times u have felt sick and/or down ? ! i dunno wot the future holds 4 u (?) but i hope u enjoy every poss moment that u can 2 THE FULL ! gd luck n all the best 2 u . i will DEFFO b followin ur blog from now on . chckin how ur doin k . once again . ALL THE BEST ! take care m8 . kane :-)

Hi Adrian, this is nurse Fi formly of P3, i'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I think of you often since leaving P3 and think we might bump into each other with living so close.I send you all my love and try to keep smiling, your a sweetheart and so brave, takecare xxxxxxxxx

Hi Adrian
I just saw your story on five news, and logged on right away to msg u.
I was so touched by your story, i think u are so brave and ur family will b very proud of u.
I would just like 2 send my luv to you and your family at such a sad time in all your lives.
J pottinger
Edinburgh
xxxx

You have inspired me my friend.

I hope you do all the things you wanted to do before you leave this world.

Take Care

Sharon

Adrian,

As your blogs show you are an exceptionally brave and positive person. Your experiences put my insignificant problems into perspective.
My thought are with you and your family.
Claudia x

Hi Adrian,

Wishing you well as you reach the station of life that you should not be approaching just yet.

I just want to say however, that I am SO pleased that you have the faculty and ability to make your own choices to preserve your dignity and to keep the control you certainly should have with such an enormous decision.

I know your family will hurt (boy do i know), but I think you are all lucky to have each other.

Stay strong...

hiya i really dont know wat to say to be honest, i only heard of u today on five news and i just had to come to have a look ive read quite a few of your blogs, i am so moved by your story i hope you enjoy every possible moment you have all the best and take care becky xxxxxxxxx

ive only just heard your story on five news. it touched me straight away. your so young and strong, its great the way you dont put yourself and your life down,may sound silly but id like to thank you for writing your story, its made me see how i shouldnt take my own life for granted, my cousin died at the age of 27 because of his disability, even though it was such a sad time we was happy for him to finally be at rest knowing he done all he could in his life, the same goes for you. i wish you all the best and to your family. the ideal thing to say would to be hoping that you have longer to enjoy your life but sadly we are only humans and we cant control that. i hope your few weeks or months can be happy and peaceful. all the best.
xxx louise xxx

dear adrian,

although we've never met
i feel i know you well
i have seen many brave people
but you are one of the bravest
i look up to you now
and always will
you are one in a million
and your smile will always light up a thousnad stars ... x

adrian..may u have peace and comfort in the arms of ur family and many friends in the coming weeks.i hope u do not feel terrible.

such a brave laddie.
hugs from bobbi xx

it's not a matter of time, it's how you use it.
you've made more difference in this world than most people manage in much longer lifetimes. Congratulations - you should be very proud of your achievements.
Like you say in your blog, why fear something we all must go through? You can go through it satisfied that you made a big, positive difference to many others' lives. And I hope your friends and your family take great comfort from this too.
Good man. Good on you. God bless.

hi, i cannot say anything different from what ha been written but today so like so many others watched five news and listened to your amazing fight for life and courage shown with every day you have lived. We wonder whats ahead ahead of us and so many of us say we will do this or that next year but how important it is to live for today as we just dont know whats in front of us, I speak for myself as i think everyone is guilty of planning ahead thinking we have years to do things.
Stay strong and live life to its fullest, i'm sure you have made people aware the importance of marrow bone transplant and if by your bklogs has highlighted the need for more donations. I hope you keep well enough to stay independant to enjoy life to its full. You truly are an inspiration to so many
Cas x

Oh! Adrian, my darling boy! I will not join in the chorus of "You are so brave"! We, in this kinda boat, have very little choice, but to get on with it. I think you have made the right decision in that "Enough is enough". I am in that place too. I wish I still believed in God, so that I could say "I Thank God for your family and friends and all the love which surrounds you".....I am ashamed that I have not had your strength in spreading positive messages and in giving yourself so readily and honestly. I am so thankful that you are getting all the hugs in the world. Add mine. Love. Geena. xx

Ad

Words fail me.

At first I was amazed by the size of your hands, then your good nature, then your enjoyment of Chesney Hawkes' music and then you go and fight leukaemia against the odds (whilst campaigning to help others) and now you amaze me once more. You are a hero.

You'll be much missed.

Whitaker

Adrian,
Words cannot express your courage and bravery; take care my thoughts are with you and your family.
Brian
Spain

Hi Adrian, this is the first time i have read your blog after watching you on the news!

You are a very brave and gracious person, i truely hope you have found your inner peace. My mum has recently beat breast cancer and has sworn that if it returns she will not go through the treatment again, which i can totally understand after watching what she endured and i can only imagine what you have been through! to make the decision not to carry on with any treatment is an extreamly brave and hopefully a kind of healing thing to do at least you are the master of your own destiny and in a way you have taken the upper hand.

You will be in my thoughts!!!!!!!!! Olivia x

I discovered your blog for the first time today and I can honestly say a lot of them have reduced me to tears. Thank you so much for writting this blog and thank you for being the wonderful, honest, sweet person you are. I am humbled by your personality and your struggles. I have battled an eating disorder for nearly 10 years now and while I have many relapses during my recovery process, I have been doing well for the last 8 months. Reading your blog today has reminded me of what life is all about. I have already watched a friend die because of an eating disorder and the idea of losing my life to this illness is insane because im doing this to myself. Reading your blogs, i feel like an idiot for wasting so much of my life and I want to thank you for making me realise that. I know i still have a long way go but thank you soo much for the inspiration. Im sorry to hear about what you are now going through but need you to know you have not written this blog in vain. Thank you for sharing your story with us. God bless and Take Care xx

Hi Adrian

I work for LEUKAEMIA CARE and a colleague posted round your blog site today.
Just wanted to say 'thank you' from all those you have helped by sharing your experiences.
I will be posting your link re. bone marrow awareness on my facebook page and forwarding it to as many people as I can in the hope that you will achieve your dream of improving the donor register.
Loads of love to you and your family
Emily
xxx

Hi Adrian, I wanted to write and tell you I'm thinking of you all the time I lost the love of my life a month ago to leukaemia, he was 42 and like you he was so fit and loving life! Last september he took ill we thought it was just some virus, we had the shock of our lives when we found out what it was, he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. In january of this year he had the transplant that we thought would save him! H did so well he was home on day 12!! Like you he had gvhd which was difficult to deal with but he dealt with it he never grumbled or complained but early April his temp spiked and he was addmited to hospital, they did every test possible to find out the cause but he died April 18th before they could find out what was wrong with him. Reading your story feels like I'm going through it all over again you've even got the same name as him!!
I think you're incredibly brave just as my partner was.
I never gave blood untill my partner was diagnosed I was ignorant to it all but now I try to encourage anyone to give blood and to become a doner even my two children are more than willing.
I think what you're doing is fantastic you're an inspiration to us all.
I don't want to seem morbid but since I watched my partner die I no longer fear death, I remember only a few months back just thinking about it was so scarey but now I have absolutley no fear at all, he went so peacfully. My heart is with you and your family, they will have to bear the loss as I have. I'm sure you'll keep each other strong, lots of love to you, Beccy. xxxxx

Hi Adrian

After seeing you on 5 news tonight, I read your blog and am deeply touched. You have achieved an immense amount for a young man - reading the comments tells us that you are much loved and appreciated.

Moving back in with your parents seems to be a good choice (I speak as a mother) - sometimes it helps to do the practical things.

Gill x

I don't really no what to say / type, I have typed and deleted so many times, I just think you are such an inspiration for others.

My thoughts & prayers are with you.

xx

Hey Adrian,

I hope you can see from all the words in these comments how very much you are doing and how many people you're inspiring. Your character and bravery is something many of us can only dream of. Truly. You're bringing humanity and such important values and empathy back to the world of people who may have forgotten just what matters the most in life simply by blogging your life. And i'm sure we are all now so grateful you've reminded us.

At 27 and with a chronic illness, I just want you to know the strength that your words are feeding out to struggling people, and those who constantly struggle with trying not to give up. Reality is a very hard word to grasp sometimes but it's clear you've been forced there and dealt with it with outstanding character and logic, and not only that, you come across as one of the warmest and most honest people in the world. I utterly mexican wave and understand your decision, and I hope that when things start to go further downhill you will recognise and remember just what you've done for people AND the world because I don't doubt that you'll have saved hundreds of lives with your appeals. That really is something awesome dude!!!

Peace. Love. Light.
You are all of them, Jai x

Dear Adrian,
I am so sorry about your relapse. Thank you so much for your honesty. You just lay it all out there for everyone to see. I really appreciate that you are sharing your journey.

'Natures first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold, her early leafs a flower,but only so an hour. Then leaf subside's to leaf,so eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day- NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY' . Adrian, this Robert Frost poem reminded me of you. My dearest dearest friend has cancer in her bowel, liver and lungs, she has just been given between 6 to 18 months, i'm devastated. But seeing your interview and reading your blog has had me in tears,but its comforted me,thankyou x x x x x

Adrian,
i was made aware of your blog from a newspaper.

you are a shining star mate.
god bless you.

keep on keeping on
Sid

Hi Adrian - I read about your blog on holdthefrontpage and have to say it's one of the most amazing things I've ever read. Great to see Trinity supporting your bone marrow donor appeal - I've blogged about it and will work on something for my paper (the Evening Leader in North Wales)

All the best

Steve Graves
Chief reporter (newsdesk), Evening Leader group.

Dear Adrian,
First and for almost I would like to thank the almighty for having given me this wonderful opportunity to write to you and send you my warm wishes.
I was very touched by your story on the news and made me realise how lucky I am but never realised how much because there is someone out there in need of my help.I have decided to take that step to go and get tested to see if I can match someone in dire need.

Everyone in this world has a special calling and purpose to be on this earth so I believe that your special calling was to touch people's lives and make them realise that they have what some people look for daily wondering when a match will be found.I personally thank God because you have opened my eyes to this very important issue I had never take note of and I am sure many people around the world feel the same.

I also wanted to ask you if you would give me and my church the opportunity to come and pray with and for you & your family.I pray that you keep strong inside even though you may feel weak on the outside know that God shields you with His Mighty hand.He holds you in His Holy hands and no matter the trials and tribulations you have and are going through He is always by your side.I pray that He guides and protects your family through this tough time wherever they maybe.

I dedicate these 2 special songs to you that call God's Angels to be with you as always and forever will be. AMEN.

*My life is in your hands - Kirk Franklin
*Healing rain - Michael W. Smith
(YOUTUBE)

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A tough decision indeed. Face this with bravery and dignity. Know that there are those who love you, and that you've touched far more people than that. Here's to hoping your cry for bone marrow education leaves a lasting legacy.

I found your case particulary interesting because my great aunt passed a couple months ago. Of both leukemia and lymphoma. I don't have the details, but apparently during her later rounds of tests and treatments (she'd been in and out for 17 years), they compared samples from different nodes, and were shocked to find both diseases present. Like you, they hadn't heard of this happening before.

She was at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and they devised a treatment that seemed to be working. She passed days before her next round of treatments. Perhaps being in her 70's and fighting for so long finally took it out of her.

May you find some peace in the upcoming time, and may your friends and family accept your decision with grace.

Dear Adrian

I am so sorry to hear your latest news.

You have been such an inspiration and so strong through all the pain you have suffered.

It all seems so unfair, but you are a legend and I admire you.

Bless you and your family

With my love
Jane xxxxx

You know what.. You are the bravest person i have seen. I feel torn up by your story and it seems to belittle the situation by describing it as a 'story'. Its not a story, its real i have discovered that in my own difficult way. I would like to donate my bone marrow in the honour of you.

Make the most of your life and say everything you have ever wanted or wished to say to anyone.

Love from
Sophie Platts age 15
Doncaster
South Yorks X

Hi Adrian,

You don't know me but thanks to your efforts to make a difference I know you...

I've just watched your piece on Calendar and
I'm going to find out about donating bone marrow because of you.

Bless you fella...you'll be remembered.

Leannexxx

Adrian,

You are very brave, your story puts everything into perspective. Much love to you, your friends and family.

Louise

Dear Adrian
I was absolutely gutted when I heard your bad news and I'm not ashamed to say that I have cried buckets ever since. I didn't know you but I have followed your story and feel as though you are my friend.
The world has been a better place for having you in it. I wish there were more nice people around like you.
I hope when you get to heaven there will be my big black labrador waiting for you. He loved people and he was a fabulous pet. I loved him more than life itself and I would love to think of the two of you looking after each other.
God bless you
Jill

I think you have shown remarkable courage, strength and dignity and I am so sorry that life has dealt you such a bad hand.

I wish you and your family strength in coping with such a unfortunate twist of fate. Your story has had me in tears, you are a true inspiration.

You deserve so much more than this and I wish you every happiness and you will be in my prayers.

With love, hope and prayers.

God bless you,

Amanda

hello adrian,

As I was reading this entry, i could not control my little lacrimal glands to do the act of producing tiny teardrops.

I would be including you in my prayers. You're disease is indeed unusual. And it was just like my friend's health problem.

My friend died last May 16 2008 at the age of 22, she has three types of cancer which are all primary. It was not a metastasis. She died peacefully, but she fought her cancers for almost two years. With the help of her family and friends, she live out her last years with a purpose.The medical team here in the Philippines and in the US were amazed on how she defy the expected prognosis.

No matter what. Always remember, that we are just behind you, saying a prayer. I know you're a strong person. And you'll see the sunshine behind all these shadows.

Adrian, I just wanted to say that you are so brave and a wonderful human being. You have made the hardest decision and there is no turning back. I too know the fear and dread as my son has ALL, you (we) learn all too quickly that life is out of our hands. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

You are a real inspiration to everyone! Your so brave to come to such a huge heart breaking discision!
I heard about your story on the Sky news channel about half an hour ago and just wanted to come on here and pass on my love and thoughts to you!
As you wrote, the inevertable will happen to us all one day, your just going to sample Heavens delights a little sooner than most of us, but we will all be together again one day!
You take care!!
My thoughts are with you. xxxx

Adrian,

The saying goes that it's what you do with your life whilst you are here and not how long you live that counts. I realise that this is easy to say and maybe not so comforting when you find yourself in the reality of the situation as you do. However, from what I've picked up in the media about your fight against leukemia on both a personal and national level, then you and your family have a lot to be proud of.

Enjoy the time you have left with your loved ones - you deserve it.

All the best.

Steve

Dear Adrian
i greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus christ . i heard about you from a sister who watched you on channel five news .i just want you to know that you are in our prayers everyday and we believe in God that heals from every disease and we have decided to stand in prayers for your healing.we are praying that God will strengthen you and give your your family peace that suppasses all human understanding

Get well soon
charity

Hi Adrian,

I only heard about you today, 20th May 2008 on the Calender news. I was on a website completely unrelated and clicked a link which brought me to your blog.
When I saw you on tv I was amazed at your cheerfulness and positive attitude. It would be a great shame for the world to lose you, when you have much to offer.

I will be sending you positive thoughts and prayers as they have much power. There is still hope and I believe in miracles.

Godbless

Maz
Leeds

Hi Adrian, I'm Jo from Holmfirth, who's currently living in China. I'm sure you've heard about the plight of the Chinese who have suffered the recent earthquake in Sichuan province. Being among the grief of this great nation & seeing the images on the TV really brings home how tragic & fragile life can be. We all know that life is so precious, therefore we should live every day as though it were our last. You truly are an inspiration to us all Adrian & I can only hope & pray that when my time comes to leave this beautiful planet I can find the strength & courage that you have so obviously found.
May God & your guardian angel be by your side. Adrian xx

my dear Adrian
My heart bleed for u, i feel so much pain right now but one thing i will asure u, u r going to a more wonderful place than this world if u believe in Jesus Christ. A place where no sickness will find u, a place of peace and joy forever.
ur soul will rest in peace.Amen.
loads of love
Chika

Dear Adrian,

OH CRAP! I really wanted you to have "THE BETTER OUTCOME" too. I wanted you to be one of those who beats all the odds - like our Ryan has up to this point. I respect your decision to go with the tide. . . you have faught long and hard and bravely. There are so many wonderful souls I hope to meet on the other side. Can we make a lunch date for "sometime in eternity" ? I think it would be a hoot and we would have lots to talk about. You are such a neat guy - I selfishly really hoped to have more time to know you and share yours and Ryan's journeys. May you have peace in your decision, a smooth current to take you on your travels and an exciting adventure to begine when this dreary disease is left behind. Heaven really does get all the good ones - you prove that once again. Love to you my young friend. We will keep checking in on you. Do not be too stoic and forego pain meds as needed. It should be smooth sailing.

All our love,
Amy Patrick (Ryan's mom) and the Patrick family

Adrian. Never commented here before, but saw you on the BBC this morning and just wanted to say am thinking of you.

Hi Adrian
I haven't written to you before but I have seen so much about you and read your blogs.

Your strength of character, honesty and total dignity are a shining light for all us mere mortals out here moaning and groaning about day to day life and trivialities. I've cried for you and I've cried with shame.

You've more than made your mark and I regard you as a total inspiration, the very reason we should treasure whatever we have.

God bless you Adrian, Love and Biggest Hugs,
Frankie, xxxxxxx

Dear Adrian,

So, so brave.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I do hope your mission is fulfilled today at No.10

Janine

I found out about this site after seeing the report on BBC Breakfast news. Before I go any further I should point out that I do not show emotion openly I didn't cry at my wedding, or at any family funerals I have ever been to. While watching this report though I must admit it did bring me to tears. Not out of pity for you, as your stronger than most people will ever be but I suppose partly out of shame that people, myself included, let people down by not donating and even more due to the fact that you deserved a bit of good luck.

Good luck talking to the PM today, and I hope that what you have started here continues to grow for many years eradicating the situation for people in the future.

My thoughts are with you.

Stuart

Adrian,
Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly. Laughter and tears in equal measure.
Keep it coming! Big hugs.
Sonia

Dear Adrian
there is hope watch the florida outpouring on God tv, Todd Bentley ,nothing is impossible for God dont let the enemy rob you Jesus died so that your sins could be forgiven and so that you could enter into a REAL relationship with him ask him into your life,he loves you with an everlasting love , am afraid this is hurried as I am rushing for work , will pray for you .Pauline x

I have just seen your story on BBC Breakfast and felt compelled to post a comment.

You are such a brave and inspirational person and have opened my eyes to bone marrow donation something I knew NOTHING about.I am 25 and healthy so I am a prime candidate to help this cause!!

I don't really know what else to say but that I, like many, know how illness can take away someone you love before their time and my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. x

hi adrian,
i personally know someone who was healed of leukemia around 7 years ago. my friend was dying with only days to live when he was prayed for by members of our church and miraculously healed.
i myself have been healed of breast cancer 3 years ago and my sister in law was healed of breast cancer 14 years ago.
we all recieved the holy spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues and that gave us the faith and power to be healed.
if you wish to contact me to discuss this more i would be more than happy to talk to you.
thankyou for your time
anne

Dear Adrian
Just saw you on breakfast. Don't want to repeat all the other messages although I agree with them all. Wanted to ask you if you had thought of Jesus in your situation. Have you given him a chance? Please do. Take a look at Todd Bentley in Florida for a bit of inspiration. People are being healed of serious illnesses. Its all of Faith. Hope you won't dismiss it as cranky. Give it a try please. Love Jan (South Chard Christian Fellowship) x

Dear Adrian,
Have just seen you on the Breakfast Programme.
Be assured that your struggle will give so much to so many re educating generations of the real possibility of becoming donors to combat your disease and associated related blood disorders.
My family and myself send you our love and the best of wishes for the rest of your journey here....and then the nsxt one.
Be at peace with yourself, you have earned it.

Hi Adrian,

So so sorry to read your news, that really is shit. I'm really impressed by the bravery and positive spirit you've shown in your posts and I hope that the time you have left is everything you want it to be. Go on, go mad, spend your entire overdraft and credit card on a fantastic holiday with your family and friends!! Seriously though, I hope things aren't too bad for you at the moment,
Take care, Love Vicola

Dear Adrian,

I have just been watching BBC breakfast and have been genuinely surprised at the ease with which bone marrow can be donated. It is not something that I had ever really considered before, my only real education on the subject being your standard TV dramas where people are searching through family members for a match etc. Not only am I strongly considering donating, but I will ensure that where the subject comes up in the near and distant future I will educate people correctly and do my part in breaking down the myths that surround this illness.

Furthermore, you sir hold yourself with more dignity than I have seen in a very, very long time. I have recently left the British Army, leading troops in Iraq, and I can honestly say you display as much courage if not more so than any soldier or officer alike that I have come in to contact with. Your friends and family I am sure are, and should be exceptionally proud of you.

Well done.

Kind regards,

Will.

PS: Please forgive my exceptionally long sentences!

Adrian,
(My apologies for a long response to your blog).
I've just watched you on BBC breakfast, Like you I'm 'terminally ill'. I had treatment for cancer last year but it has metastasised to the lymph node in my chest.
I am 38, married with 3 wonderful children, although scans at the moment show no change in the progression of the tumours, it will take me at some point.

I to have already decided, along with my family, not to have further treatment as and when it flares up again.
Some people have questioned my decision, as I have children, but I have made it knowing that it is now MY choice, I want my children to have a mother that is not suffering the debilitating effects of the treatments that may only give me a few more months, then leave me dying in a not very pleasant and dignified way.

I wanted to send you my best wishes and support in what is, I know a very difficult time for you and your wonderful family & close friends.

Your tireless work to highlight the need for DECENT EDUCATION regarding bone marrow & blood donations is a true testament to your courage.

My hope now is that now, The national curriculum WILL go on to include bone marrow & other transplant issues as part of PHSE and associated subjects.

I leave you now with, much love for you and your family and best wishes for as long and healthy a life as is possible.

Bless you.

Hazel
*~*~*

Adrian,

I'm sure this will come as scant consolation to you, but your work will live on long after you. You will leave behind a genuine legacy of hope for others facing similar illnesses, and it seems certain that what you are doing here will make a real difference to the treatment of others.

I woke up this morning with a cold, and felt genuinely sorry for myself; God bless you mate, for putting our lives into sharp perspective.

All the very best,

Dan

there are no words of great comfort or passion i can offer, they dont exist for something so tragic,only the deepest and greatest love is sent to you and your dear family and friends.
lucy x

Dear Adrian

I know you have probably had the best treatment available but wondered if you came across the St. Mungo Unit in the Beatson Oncology Centre, Ward 40 (Bone Marrow Transplant Unit. They also have a blood stem cell transplant Unit.

When I listen to programmes on t.v. about people never giving up hope under any circumstances,it should give us all the courage to keep on trying even in our darkest hour.

In any event, I wish you all the best as you are an inspiration to us all.

Margaret

Hi.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I too have had aml leukaemia from sep 05. I'm now in full remission after a sister transplant.
I too was a fit & healthy non-smoker/drinker, with no family cancer.
The only symptoms i had was tiredness.
It started with a swollen ankle!!!
Within a week my right thigh was twice the size- so off to hospital i went.
The doc just told me straight not taking me to a side room!i today still can't believe it!
I was due to go to florida that week.
Good luck today mate.

Dear Adrian
I had BBC's breakfast show on this morning, and was so touched by your calm presence, when you must be going through such trauma,
I wanted to make you aware of incredible healing's that are taking place in Lakeside Florida. There have been countless people healed of all different forms of cancer.
Todd Bennett had been invited to a small church in Florida for a three day conference when these healings started, that was about 40 something days ago , and it's still going on. I have been watching it via the God channel on the internet. The healings have been happening towards the end of the service, from approx 10 in the evening Uk time.

I hope you get this and don't think I'm some kind of crank, this is really happening on a daily basis, I was so moved by your plight , the very least I could do was to point you in the direction of hope.
God bless you , and we will lift you up in prayer at the prayer meeting I attend,
Regards
Steve

Adrian,
You have seen 6 christmas's less than me, and I sometimes complain about the little things, you help put real perspective on all our lives. Tonight I will hug my children a little tighter, and although I am not a religious man, I will say a silent prayer for you. Now to leave you with a smile, please tell Bruce Lee I loved his films and Jim Morrison I really dig his music :-) Be strong - Steve

Adrian,

I hoped I would never have to say this, but I am so sorry to hear your news! I met you as a student nurse (we discussed Harry Potter, if you recall). I found you so inspirational and can honestly say I've learned so much from you, it moulded me into a better nurse. Thank you.

I have been ecouraging my friends to donate bone marrow for about a year no and I think there are three of us hoping to do it!

All my thoughts are with you, Poppy, your parents and sister!

Take care, Jenn x

Hi Adrian,

Saw you on Breakfast - thought you were amazing. Don't really know what else to write - I'm a medical student at the moment, i've seen a lot of things, but your attitude is absolutely inspirational - i'm going to register as a donor asap, so please know that what you're doing is making a difference.

You're a top, top bloke.

Chris

Saw your appearance on BBC Breakfast this morning; now listening to Eva Cassidy on Radio2 singing Time After Time... Most poignant. I thought of you, and felt I had to write in support. Words generally fail me, but you seem a very brave and decent human being, I do hope your meeting today at Downing St achieves your dreams.

Look forward to freedom from this pain, many people love you my friend x

Hi Adrian, having just watched you on the BBC I would just like to thank you for inspiring me to have my transplant when a donor is eventually found (waiting 3 years for a match).

Although your condition is cleary more complex than my own (I was diagnosed with stage 4 nhl 8 years ago), please do not stop fighting the bastard.

As I am sure you are aware, there are some effective chemo coctails availabe that may prolong your survival.

I have had most, including a b/m transplant (my own) at St James in Leeds.

I am now looking forward? to a course of ZEVLIN (dont believe I said that).

I wonder if this drug is an option for you mate?

If so, please please please GO 4 IT! and change your mind to bat it out for as long as you can. I honestly believe a new generation of treatments is just around the corner........

Be Strong and Live Long Adrian!

All the very best,

George

Adrian, just saw you on BBC Breakfast. I am going to sign up to donate bone marrow - purely because of you raising the profile of the need. You are a legend. Good luck.

I watched breakfast tv this morning and listened to what you had to say about the bone marrow register. I am now registered because of what you said and I hope that I can help someone live a long and healthy life. Good luck and God bless. Love Grainne.

Saw you this morning on the BBC. I'm working my way around co-workers to encourage them to think about giving blood/marrow and becoming organ donors.
You must know that you're leaving something really meaningful behind.
Christine

Just saw your breakfast TV interview this morning - inspirational stuff. Rest assured (and in peace) that you've had a huge impact, and that the memories of you will outlive you. Not sure about the hat...but will go and register right now!

Dear Adrian,
I hate hospitals at even the best of times. It is as though, after entering their doors, all my bravery pours out in seconds through a hole in my shoe. I have seen some bad things happen, children dying etc.. So I do not like being in them for any long time. Ironic that I am shortly to be in one for the birth of my latest child.

However, I also know that God is there with me, even in that situation. Of course it helps to say that my youngest daughter was healed as a baby.

(If you want to know more you can find out about it at: http://www.geocities.com/roderickmarshall)

Anyway, in the words of Black Adder: Bugger!

So to some extent I understand that you are totally on your own, even with so much support and sympathy around you. It is after all a one way single trip.

Nobody can know what it is like to have a death sentence pronounced on them - until it happens.

All I can say is that I have a belief in a God who is able to take up all your fears, sorrows, hurts and frustrations - to say nothing of your sins!

Forgive my presumption from a complete stranger but, because I have a personal faith in Jesus Christ, I am more than happy to commit your situation into His hands on your behalf despite knowing nothing.

"LORD, I thank you that in a fallen world you set the lonely in families, and hear the prayer of the downtrodden, so it is I ask, in the Name of Jesus, that you would meet with Adrian and grant him Your peace which passes all understanding. I ask that you speak words of encouragement and light into his dark situation and grant him hope today.

LORD, I believe that your are a loving and caring God who never turns away from anyone who calls out to you in hope. So I ask for Adrian that you would minister wisdom and understanding into his current situation so that he is able to do the right thing, whatever that may mean.

Father, I ask for his healing too, just because I know that you can, and I ask that you will do exactly that, to bring glory to Your name and joy into Adrian's life and famiy, in the name of Jesus, amen.

blessings Rod

i saw you on bbc breakfast this morning and i just wanted to say i admire you so much - life is never fair but what you are doing now WILL change peoples lives in the future, i for one am going to sign up to be a bone marrow donor and i am sure thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people will do the same because of you - you are a very special person and i will pray for a miricle for you from somewhere
god bless
karen

All I can say is you are an inspiring fellow of extraordinary character.

My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.

Hi Adrian,

Thank you for sharing your life so openly.

You've touched so many people through your words and actions. You truly humble me.

I've never met you and my life will always be the lesser for that.

Take care mate.

Ben

Dear Adrian,
I saw you for the first time on BBC Breakfast this morning and had to read your blog which I found to be deeply moving. I feel some empathy with you as I too have been given the all clear only for the cancer to return. I was diagnosed with having a tumour on my right kidney 2 years ago and they removed the whole kidney. After several tests and scans I was told that there was no trace left of the tumour. I was fine until late last year when I had severe headaches. After scans it was found that I had a tumour on my brain. After an operation to remove it I was told that the tumour would have come through my bloodstream from my kidney to my brain. I had 16 sessions of radiation treatment which left me bald too and have been told that there's no trace of the tumour. Fingers crossed eh? Anyway enough about me. I sincerely hope that the rest of your life is as peaceful and rewarding as could be possible in the circumstances. You'll have certainly left your mark on this world.
Best Wishes Mike

Adrian, I came upon you on YouTube some months ago - a quirk of fate as I was searching for videos about my hometown of Sudbury in Suffolk. An even stranger quirk of fate is that in late 2002, I lost the dearest person in the world to me to multiple Cancers, James "Bushwick" Thaw, who was 26, of Huddersfield.

I realise that there's not much anyone can say of comfort in these difficult times but I just want to wish you and yours, Love, Peace and Light as you travel this road.

Leonie, Sudbury, Suffolk.

I've only just found your blog (courtesy of the Daily Mail website) and I wanted to say how sorry I am that things have turned out this way. You've faced everything so bravely even when you've had constant bad news. Take care x

Adrian,

Deeply moved by your interview on BBC this morning.

You are a terrific conversationalist. On the 'other side' you will be a tv presenter yourself !!

love

Ben

Like so many I saw you on breakfast news this morning and have spent my time since then looking at your blog, truly humbled by what I have read. What a courageous young man you are and what great inner strength you have too. May that continue to be with you in the time ahead.

Thank you for sharing your life with us all - please make the most of the time that you have left. Enjoy it to the full as much as you can and as much as your leukaemia will allow.

Really hope that you visit to No 10 will do a lot more to bring bone marrow donation to the news headlines and get people signing up. It will become something by which you will be deservedly remembered for a long time to come.

God bless you always
Simon

Dear Adrian,

I have been reading your blog and have to say I am so so very sorry for what you have and are going through.
Words fail me but I need to say what admiration I am feeling for you right now.

You have been through more than most people ever will and after seeing this blog and your dedication to such a worthy cause I have decided I am going to go onto the Anthony Nolan register.
I have been given this choice in life to possibly give someone else the chance of life and I am going to do exactly that. It is the least I and others can do when we are so fortunate.

From reading this blog it is so obvious you are such a lovely lovely person who is now determined to get such an important message across to the world.

I am truly sorry Adrian....

Thinking of you.

Stacey.

Hello Adrian.
I'd like to say two things. Firstly, I am a student nurse on an Oncology ward. I think you have made the very best decision now not to continue chemo treatment. A wise, insightful decision from a very wise, insightful and enlightened man.
Secondly, to echo Luke Williams, it is the very quality of our lives that determines the success of it, not the quantity. By moving into the realm of the Heart and speaking from that place, you have reached into the hearts of many. What an amazing achievement. What a successful use of life itself. The very best use.
Love and kindest wishes,
Jenny

Saw you on BBC Breakfast this morning, and had to post a comment. It's a admirable thing that in the midst of something so tragic, you can find the time to think of educating other people in this way.

I'm 40 and can only imagine how devastated I would have been if at 26, I'd have found out that I had a terminal illness.

I hope that in your final months, that you, your friends and your family do everything together that you desire, and when the end does unfortunately come, that it comes peacefully for you.

You're a remarkably brave individual, and I wish you well.

Adrian

You have personally moved me to tears.

you are an amazing man and you will always be remembered in this way.

God bless you.

Neill
x

Adrian, you continue to amaze me every day. Even though you said you would spend the time you have left with your family and friends you're still putting other people first by fighting your mission. And a bloody good job you seem to be doing too. You really are incredible and will certainly leave a permanent mark in history.

I'm glad I'm one of the lucky ones who's had the pleasure of knowing you and working with you. With complete honesty I can say that you truly are fab. Wishing you all the best with your mission - go give it to 'em.

Julie x

Dear Adrian
I have just read about you on your blog. What an inspiration you are to mankind. After reading your story, I have decided to look at the possibility of donating bone marrow. It is a pity that it takes reading about you before we take action. You are so brave and couragous with the decisions you take.
May you be blessed
Dafydd

I have only today (21st May) learned of you and your blog. I really cannot think of anything to say that will not sound a little trite, so I'll come right out and quote a fairly famous saying that explains my position.

"I wept because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."

What you are bearing with such fortitude and obvious joie-de-vivre puts my problems fairly and squarely in the shade. If ever I find myself in your position, I hope I can muster even half of the courage you so clearly have.

In the mean time, and to quote a character in a SciFi book, "Dum vivimus, VIVAMUS!" - "While we live, let us LIVE!"

I am truly humbled by your approach to the predicament you are in - I am saddened moreover to read of your most recent post. I will do the best that I can to get more out of life. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Alan

I too saw you on BBC Breakfast this morning. You are a truly remarkable person.

My step-mother had leukaemia back in 1972 and as it was in those days was given very low odds. She was determined and lived on for another twenty years.

Please give it another go - you have so much to offer.

Jon

I saw your piece on the BBC this morning (it made me late for work!) and was so inspired I have contacted the blood service for information on becoming a bone marrow donator. Your campaign seems to have inspired many people to do the same, so you are hopefully goint to be responsible for saving many lives. Go mad, enjoy yourself and make the most of the last few precious months. all the best, lyndsey x

Adrian,

you say you want to 'shine out like a beacon'. Well, mission acomplished. Look how many friends you have met here, how many people you have affected, how many of us are sitting here in shame, guilt and sorrow for what we haven't done, what we should have done and what we need to do. If you reached one person on here and that person became a donor and one life was saved, you would have been responsible for preventing yet another family going through the pain of loss and frustratingly realising it was because no-body helped them. As it is, you have reached many, changed the thoughts of many and probably saved the lives of many.

Whatever it was that life intended for you, you matter and you have made a difference.

Thank-you
Sarah

Hi Adrian

You are not only an inspiration to the UK, but to the rest of the world. GOD has chosen you to have this testing & trying times as you have a fighting spirit and have made the people of the world stand up on their hindlegs with your blog and realizing how easy it is to become a bone marrow doner. Many other people would sit in a corner and feel sorry for themselves and would have given up a long time ago.

I got to learn about your story for the 1st time last night on CNN and had to get onto this blog 1st thing today. I also had to communicate with you. I always thought donating bone marrow, they push needles into your spine etc. I will definately look into dontating here in SA.

I can remember many years ago (+/- 18 years) a friend of my brother was diagnosed with severe Leukemia at the age of 14. He was told he will not see his 16th birthday and I remember my brother going to his 21st birthday party.

What I can see is that all these tests and trying times and set backs you have had, has made you a very strong and brave young man. You have reached so many people and so much, in the past 18 months of your life, which most people would not even be able to do in a life time. Your purpose in life has been done.

I will pray for you and your family and place you all in GOD's hands. Always remember: "Miracles do happen and wonders never cease"

I would also like to tell you a long story but in very short. My husband's uncle was diagnosed with Sugarbaker cancer (cancer of the appendix) and the doctors here in SA had said after 3 years there is nothing they can do for him anymore. He started his search on the net and found a professor in Australia that could help him. Before leaving from here he looked like an alien with tumours growing under his skin. The total procedure including the operation he would have been in hospital for 1 week. He left hospital 2 and a half months later where the doctors had said they don't forsee him making it through this ordeal. In and out of theatres and ICU. He is still in Australia recovering from this ordeal on the professor's farm. According to doctors this is a miracle. Prayers are very strong.

You yourself is an absolute miracle - your testimony and fighting spirit.

Keep on fighting and keep up that smile it is beautiful.

May GOD bless you and your family

Yvonne

Adrian,

No need to post this on your site. I just wanted to say I read your article on the BBC and was moved by it. I am sure many of us will sign up as a result of your hard work and that lives will be saved. You are doing a fabulous job and it is a great shame that you won't be around to see the positive results of your campaigning. We will all die at some point and you can at least say that you have made a difference.

i've just read your feature on the bbc website, it definitely educated me on the mysteries of bone marrow donation.

thanks to that i've already completed a donor recruitment form and intend to go to an anthony nolan recruitment clinic on 31st may.
thanks for the inspiration!

safe journey x

I have just been reading your blog and reading your article on BBC News, I sit here with tears in my eyes, not out of pity but sheer pride. I think you are a truly truly amazing guy... inspirational.

My dad was diagnosed terminal in 1989, was given the option of "prolonging" treatment but like yourself decided it was all about quality of life in the end...was given 6 weeks to live, and with positive mental attitude he lived for 12 weeks, he was determind and never let life get him down, never complained and fought tooth and nail for every last inch of life and for that I will be eternally proud of him...

Your family, friends and everyone who knows you will undoubtedly feel the same and you have touched and filled peoples lifes in ways that you can never ever imagined...

To coin my dads phrase "fight the good fight with all thy might".

I will today be looking at joining the donor register here in Northampton...your legacy will live on.

Thoughts, prayers, hugs and kisses are with you and all of your family.

Thank you for touching my life

Becxxx

Hi Adrian,

I'm a leukaemia doc. I don't know much about your condition so this comment might not be appropriate/helpful but have you discussed with your docs alternatives to Glivec (imatinib) such as nilotinib, dasatinib and bosutinib?

Best wishes,

Steve

hi adrain

You have given me great inspiration today and i want to donate my bone marrow but i have no idea how to? Looking on you site today to get information.

You should be real proud for what you doing.
All i want to say is is enjoy the time you have and am sure allha has a place for you in havven.

For all your doing today there definately will be reward waiting for you after this journey.

many hugs

nazia

I saw you on BBC news this morning and then found myself reading your bog.
Wow what a guy, you have an amazing spirit that shines as an example to use all. I am already looking at how/where can donate my bone marrow. I hope everyone that reads this does the same.
I am sure the universe will hold you tight forever.
Love & Light
Hx

Adrian,

I saw you on the BBC this morning and was so pleased to learn about your campaign to get more bone marrow donors. I am on the bone marrow register and think that what you are doing is an inspiration. It's just a shame that it comes from a sad time in your life.

I wish you (and your family) all the best in your campaign and in the months to come.

Donna.

Adrian

All I can say is that you are inspirational. I know you will be missed but you will never be forgotten my the many people who have read your blog. Here's to the success of your campaign.

JeanG.

Hi AD,

Wow! what a journey you're having, talk about roller coaster ride. I first heard you talking on Five Live last week and this week your on TV and meeting the PM!!!!!!! Not to mention the whole of the 18 months leading up to this. (Oh yes did you get to the match at the weekend?) I would love to hear more from you, completely selfish of course as I'm soooooo nosey. As you are the one in the running seat of your life and death, I understand your need to be in control, a human trait and so contradictory.

Thanks for the realness and clarity, a peace of fresh air.

Sending love & light to you and your family in bundles.
bhavani XxX

Hey Adrian
You popped up on my telly this morning (Calendar News) and I was shocked and gutted to see that the leukaemia is back.

It was a great pleasure to work with you for those few months in Sheffield, I didn't think anyone could go through what you have and come out smiling but I guess that's just how you are. I know you kept the staff on P3 entertained with all your jokes and "celeb" appearances (shame you missed out on the Anchorman tan) and we certainly had a few laughs over the coffee incident!

I hope you can keep on laughing and smiling through the rest of your days.

Love and best wishes
Fran (former Sheffield PR bod) xx

Adrian Your School's Campaign is a great idea and one that we need to energize young people into! - so keep Fighting, you still have a job to do and you have plenty of us right behind you!

Best,
John

Hi Adrian

I don't know you but I desperately feel for you and your friends and family. I hope you don't mind me saying but my husband Peter died of AML 6 months ago, he was 34 yrs old after about 15 month fight against this b of a disease. I just wanted to say the he left us peacefully, he didn't suffer I hope this is of some comfort to you and now I feel him around me all the time.

I think you and Pete would get on well and I'm sure he'll be there to meet you wherever you're off too for a drink!

Its not fair Adrian, but you fought a good fight!

Love to you and your family Sarah x

Ive been so moved by your blog and have only recently been made aware of it. I will use your inspirational writing to promote awareness to my students in the hope that more people will register and donate bone marrow. I can understand your decision to not have any more invasive treatment but 20% is still a good chance! I do hope you reconsider and if you dont I can only hope that you get the most out of the time you have left. Seize the day Adrian! My thoughts are with you.

Dear Adrian,

I just wanted to say thankyou. You are an incredible person, and you are helping me come to terms with the death my sister. When I read your blog, it makes me cry and at the same time get strength.

My elder sister and only sibling passed away last year. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer end of August, and it was all over early November, within a short space of 2 months. The shock and the loss, has made life incredibly hard.

Thankyou once again for making me a better and stronger person.

God Bless You

Malini
XXX

Adrian.

I'm really sorry to hear that things have come to this. If only there were a cure.

I watched you on the tv and what you are doing to raise awarenesss of the bone marrow transplant issue.

I was diagnosed with acute myeloid Leukaemia (type m3) about 2 weeks ago and I'm currently in the marsden in sutton undergoing chemo, and yes it aint nice.

When i get out I'm going to help in fundraising and whatever i can do to help find a cure for this.

You are a true inspiration Adrian, and an incredibly brave man. To make the decision to refuse further treamnet must have been one of the hardest you've ever made. I just hope I'm never put in that position.

if there is anything I can do to help then please get in touch.

God bless.

Rich.

richcastle1966@btinternet.com

Dear Adrian,

My heart went out for you today, when I saw you on TV, because after everything you went through you still have to cope with it yet again.

At the same time I think you are doing the bravest thing ever....

My younger brother 'left' us in January 2007, after just 4 months of treatment. He didn't have a chance to have the transplant, and the 2 ciclos of quimio he had, was like water that killed him and not the leukaemia.

I think that your idea is fantastic and I feel that if my brother were still with us he would be doing something very similar.

I am afraid I have passed the age to be in the register as a donor, however I would do it without thinking twice.

Well done!!

You are a very special person and I'll be thinking of you and your family on my prayers.

God bless you.

Aida

God bless you, only the good die young. Thank you for helping other people. Thinking of you always XX

Hi Adrian, it is such a brave decision to cease your treatment. I can understand your reasons.
My daughter was diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia) in March 1996. The chemo was 2 intensive blocks & at the time it took a lot of her spirit.
She could cope with the chemo but not with the infections that followed. That 7-10 day period of waiting to become neutropenic & then the uncertainty of what the infection would be.
Each time it was pneumonia!
She got to the stage where she hated the nurses, couldn't stand the drive from home to Jimmy's hospital & going to the clinic for a bone marrow sample was a breeze compared to the others.
10 years on & she's classed as "normal" (what ever that is).
The thing is with leukaemia is that you don't really know anything about it until it happens to you, family or friends.
We need more education, publicity & every doctors surgery, hospital, dentist, schools, football clubs, etc.... can put up the Anthony Nolan posters.
Both my husband & I are on the bone marrow register. Sadly, we haven't had that call yet.
All we had to do was have a blood sample taken & that was that. No pain!
I hope things went well at Downing St, remember you're not alone in this.
Thank you for your blog - you have made more people aware of leukaemia & the bone marrow register & fingers crossed some may consider joining the register through this.
I wish you would re-consider starting the chemo again but, I can understand why you'd prefer not to.
Take care & god bless you & stay strong in mind & spirit. Lisa & Chloe x

my son shane walker has been in remision from acute lymphoblastic leakumia he was 3 yrs old and is now 8yrs and still having problems. i told him about u adrian and he said to tell u to fight it cos he did it and survived and wants u to fight it to then he can come and see u and say "see we both did it " , bless u both if only it was that easy.
luv sandra
xx and shane xx

I think u are a strong young ma, and i pray that god is with u all the way. It is very touching that even in your last days u are still thinking about other cancer sufferers, it just shows how much of a BEAUTFUL PERSON u are. It is such a shame your family are going to lose u, but i am sure u have blessed their lifes very really happy memories God Bless u Adrian my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family xxx

Dear Adrian,

I just saw you on the ITN news and decided to look up your blog. I am amazed at how un scary the bone marrow transplant process looks, and I had a very different idea of it now thanks to you. You are truely an inspiration, to anybody who has lost someone to such ilnesses, and to anybody who is going through one.

Thoughts are with you,

Stacey Leyland :o)

P.S Loving the wooly hat!

Hi

Seen you on the news today and have registered to donate after seeing the vid on what actually happens. I too thought that they had to drill into you to get to the bone marrow. What really happens need publicising strongly as I'm sure that's what a lot of people think.

It is very sad that this disease will eventually overcome you, to find someone who's a match and then for it to fail is like you say "exceptionally unlucky".....

I hope that I can take one person off the list at least.

Take Care.....

Dear Adrian,

I am so moved to see your care towards others. Your heart so full of unselfish love and clear in commuicating.

Adrian, I was in Dudley on Saturday night at something called Revivalfires. People were being miraculously healed, this is no joke dear man.

You can check all this out by logging on to
www.revivalfires.org.uk

I believe in Christ's Healing Power, I was healed myself many years ago and know others who have experienced His touch.

Brave young man, you are in our prayers.
God Bless you
Catherine

been following your blog for a while, but not visited in ages, so after just seeing you on itv news through id update myself.

in shock, and dont really know what to say, life is shit sometimes and so unfair to ppl like yourself.

like you said youve had enough, and i dont blame you for stopping the treatment.

i hope whatever time you have left is happy spent with your family and friends. you have made a mark on a LOT of peoples lives! what a fantastic person you are.

my thoughts are with you all, its great all the work you have already done and continue to do. will definately be looking into registering for blood/bone marrow.

continue being strong

xxx kerry

i have just been watching the news and saw your interview. what a mix of emotions. you are obviously a very intelligent and brave bloke. i shall make sure i tell all my friends and family about you and your blog. thankyou for letting me know of you and teaching me about the stem cell donations.
all the best
becky xxx

You will be hugely missed by not only your friends and family, but also all the thousands of people who read this blog. But also, you willl allways be enourmously admired for being an incredibly brave, honest and talented man.

I hope theres an afterlife, and that its really ace!

Am registering to become a bone marrow doner

Kirstin x

hi adrian,
I just saw you on the news and i think that you are one of the bravest people i know if there were more people in this world like you it would be such a better place. mst people just think about themselfs and family and unless it happens to them then it not that much of an isue but i think if we can help then we should. I have been thinking about donating bone marrow for a while but didnt really know anything about it and how to go about it but you have given me the push to do it so been surching on the internet for clinics in my area havent found one yet but im going to keep on looking thanks for opening eveybodys eyes and god bless you, you desurive a medal leah xxxxxxxxxx (sorry for slelling lol)

Hi Adrian

I just wanted to say that you are an inspiration, your courage and strength shines through, your friends and family must be so proud of you for the work that you are doing to highlight the need for more Bone Marrow Donors. My husband had a stem cell transplant 2 years ago and I know just how difficult it is to find a match.

Thank you!

Take care my thoughts are with you.

Tracy xx

Dear Adrian,

I really hope that you have the strength to enjoy the rest of your time here and rest assured that your efforts to motivate bone marrow/blood and organ donation will not be in vain.

I'm just starting off on my journey and like so many others hoping that the journey is not quicker than I hoped for but thats up to medical science and luck as you've so couragously put.

Karen

Live your life as if you will live forever and prepare for your death as if you will die any second.

No one knows when one's die! No doctor can tell you that.

I am Iraqi female, Iraqis has been plagued by Cancer. Nearly every family has experienced this hardship and more..

From my long life of struggle. I tell you ..no one can tell you when you are going to die..

Keep going...

Dear Adrian,

I saw your interview on BBC Breakfast this morning and was truely touched. I am so sorry to hear your sad news and your decision. My 4 year old son is coming off his treatment for ALL this week and I am very emotional. I sincerely hope the awareness you are raising will last and people will sign up as donors. All the best. X Dani

Hi Adrian,
So sorry to hear of your troubles. My husband died in March after a 5 year battle with cancer. It has been horrendous. Don't give up! You can take or leave the info I'm about to give you but I got something called Liquid Zeolite for my husband which is a totally natural therapy with no side effects. It has had some amazing results in independent studies and lets face it, when you get to the stage you are at isn't it worth giving anything a go? Unfortunately for us I didn't find out about it until it was too late and it turned up the morning Steve died. My only regret over this whole thing is that he did not get to try it. It may not have worked but at least we would known.
I am truly sorry for you and deeply sympathise with your partner. I know what she will go through if she loses you.
You are an inspiration in this world just as my darling Steve was. He treated every day as a gift and filled my life with a joy that I can't imagine ever finding again.
Bless you, love and hope, Fran. :) x

Saw you on Breakfast this morning and definately going to see if i can be a donor.
Like you i have been in and out of hospital and i know how distressing it can be for people of our age.
I think you've made a very brave decision, i hope you can enjoy what time you have left.
You are an amazing and inspiring man you can be proud of the legacy you will be leaving.
K

Hi Adrian,

Like everyone before (and after) me, I don't really know what to say. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know how devastating news like this is and you will always be in my thoughts.
Thank you for giving us all hope when it seems all is lost.
Stay strong and may God Bless you.

Margaret.

Dear Adrian, what an inspiration you are. I'm pretty speachless and don't want to repeat all of the heartfelt messages already posted, but they are nonetheless also felt and expressed to you by me. I am having chemo presently for Hodgkin's Lymphoma,and when I'm well I'll see if I would be able to register as a donor. I just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts, what a guy, take care, love Caroline.

well i had to dry my eyes after reading this
but you are so so strong with a massive heart ,,,i had to leave you a little message
even thought im lost for word my thought are with you adrian xx

Adrian,
To say i am sorry to hear your heartbreaking news just doesnt seem enough. Nobody deserves to have suffered in the way you have (though i know for a fact that many do) only to be dealt the unjust news that the outcome isnt what was hoped.

You are quite right Adrian, death is something that happens to all of us and not so scary at the end of the day, its those that are left behind, whose lives you have touched and made a difference to and marked in a way you will never appreciate that will experience the pain of losing you. Rest assured you will be a very special Angel in heaven - you have earnt your wings!

I dont know you, but you have left a mark on my life.

God Bless you - you will shine always.

Denise xxxxxxx

Dear Adrian,

It really doesn't important for me to be seen on this page or not, but to be seen by you.
I have been thinking about being a donor for a long time but it costs little bit for a donor and takes some time. But after I read your blog I will pay what ever it costs. At the end there is a life. Me being unconscious for some time shouldnt be matter. Thank you!
I wish I could do more for you other than just writing. Be strong. We have a saying in turkish but I don't know how to put it in a right way, it's like... you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Love and best wishes

Yasemin / Istanbul

Hi Adrian,

Just came across your blog today for the first time and haven't had time to read it all or the messages. The only thing that I can IMPLORE you to do is find out about what is happening in Lakeland, Florida at the moment and get there as soon as you can. I see that others have mentioned it already. Please don't just dismiss this because there is nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain! You need time to spread your message wider.

Do take care,

Linda x

Adrian,

I doubt I'm the only person who has decided today to donate bone marrow - I hope you know you've made a difference.

Good luck lovely.

Sammy

Hi Adrian
Words can not express how sorry I am to hear the news about you stopping treatment.I can only say that you are a very brave person and deserve the best of everything that the world can give.You can only be described as a wonderful man who has decided to help others, I only wish that more people were like you. I send all my love to you and will pray that you find strength and courage to carry on as long as you can. God bless you Adrian
Josie

Hi Adrian

I think you are so brave and inspirational. I'm disappointed that I can't donate bone marrow because I'm too old. If only there had been someone like you years ago and a lot of us could have done it then.

I hope you don't give up - I know that's easy for me to say as I don't know what you've gone through, but you friends and family will lose a brightly shining light.

God bless.

Chris. x

Our daughter came down with ALL in 2006 ... since then we have seen a few friends we came across thro our blog die. I wish I had come across your blog earlier before you got to this point - have read the whole thing today. Continue being brave!

Dear Arian,

I saw you on Breakfast this morning and was astonished at your demeanour, your eloquence and knowledge of this dreadful disease that is killing you. Most of all, my emotion was that of respect for a man who can articulate his wishes for people to do more to help others who find themselves afflicted by this condition. You are a very strong person and I hope that that strength will help carry you and your family and friends through what must be a terrible ordeal. My thoughts are with you.

Ruth x

Hi Adrian

I heard you on radio 5 for the first time this morning and wish I was aware of your work highlighting the issues surrounding awareness earlier. Frankly I was moved to tears.

I am 36yrs old and quite fit, but have not taken the best care I might have done of myself.

The result of your influence is I'm going to get fit so I can put myself down as a donor well before I am 40yrs old. So for me as well, you have had a profound effect, and I hope that comes as some kind of consolation to you.

You have made you mark in the time you have been with us, and your footprint in life will not fade.

I wish you, and in particular your family, all my love. I hope you can find peace, and am assured that any god would welcome you with open arms.

My love, Sebastian

Adrian,

I just want you to know that you have made a difference, a huge difference. You've increased awareness of leukaemia and bone marrow donation and I'm sure you've inspired many like myself - you have inspired me to decide my specialisation - Oncology.

Just one think I noticed as I was reading your blog; you mentioned that maybe if you were married and had children maybe you would have considered taking this treatment even though you have a 20% chance. I am in no position to advice you; I don't know you but my mind and my heart won't leave me alone until I tell you the followong: Don't give up

You've shown so much courage and you're so strong I just want you to know you're an inspiration to many and I admire you. Don't stop smiling and fighting.

Rebekah

After reading your blog I decided that I will become a donor. My aim in life is to help as many people as possible in as many ways as possible. Yes death is something that happens to everyone in the end. What has happened to you is terrible and nobody deserves to suffer in that way. Im sure you have made a difference to so many people by doing this and changed so many peoples mind. My thoughts are with you, I hope that you will enjoy whats left of your life with your family and friends.

Vicky London

Hello Adrian,
I'm so sorry that your outcome is as it is; all anyone can say is that you're a very special person, and hope that whatever life you have left will be happy and peaceful with your friends and family.
You're in my thoughts,
love Christine Bridson-Jones xx

Hi Aidy

My memories of you are not as young man but a child, a very happy child with a beaming smile. I remember when you were born listening to your Grandma and my Mum discussing your name and their concerns that people would spell your name incorrectly and you'd become A-drain.

In hindsight, Goliath would have been more fitting! - your immense spirit makes you a giant of a man and someone everyone wants to know. This blog and your candid approach to your illness will help so many.

The reason I'm rambling on about memories is because I think it would be lovely if you could do a memory box for Hal and any other young who may come into the family. This way they will learn about you in your own words and you write so well. It is also something all the family can dip into when they need to be close to you - just an idea.

We are getting the wheels in motion here in Devon to promote your bone marrow campaign - I'll keep you posted.

Take good care of yourself with equal measures of campaigning and play.

My love and hugs to you and all the family.

Meriel xxx

Your site was forwarded top me by my partner following your appearance on TV. Having not heard your story he took the grumpy old man view - scruffy hat didn't look right with the rest of the outfit!

Later in the day he heard your story and forwarded it to me with imense feelings of shame - we mustn't judge a book by it's cover! Due to health probs I am not sure if we are suitable candidates but we are now taking medical advice to check.

Please don't feel that you have to hide under a hat, be proud of all of you and all that you are trying to achieve.

I am a great believer in the work done by the NFSH,www.nfsh.org.uk. I'm not suggesting that they can cure you but I know of a current trial at an NHS Southampton cancer unit. I was a complete sceptic with my feet very firmly planted on the ground No mumbo jumbo for me but I have had great personal benefits from healing. Please consider it, the worst that can happen is that you visit a healer (they sometimes can come to you), you lie or sit fully clothed ofr about 30 mins, listen to calming music and only make a donation to the healer if you want to. I'm sure that you will want to.

Kind regards

Sue

For what it's worth, I wanted to let you know that I have just signed up on the bone marrow register and also on the organ donor register. I already give blood on a regular basis and I plan on going back to give platelets. I know it isn't going to help you now but it's something small and it's what you want.

I admire you for making the decision that I know I couldn't make. You are so brave. All the best to you and your loved ones, my friend.

Dude,

I'm already registered as a bone marrow donor, and I have only just discovered your blog, thanks to a BBC new article.

What can I say? What you've done is brave, inspiring and - in places, thanks to your writing - both heart-warming and funny. My hat off to you, genuinely. After brain surgery last year, I'm grateful every day that I'm healthy, and can only hope that if such bad luck were to befall me again, I would deal with it as well as you have.

But I'm disturbed that you're throwing in the towel. I know it's easier for me to say than for you to do, but isn't it better to go down fighting? As Churchill said, if you're going through Hell, keep going!

The rewards are worth fighting for. Don't give up.

Ola Adrian

I am brazilian, writing from São Paulo city.
You are such a loving person.That you keep finding inside yourself all the strength, courage and love to continue your journey.You are not alone. With all my love from across the ocean. Beijos from Brazil

cecilia

I have only just started to read your Blog after seeing the article in the Mail some weeks ago. So sad to hear about the relapse, and wish you and your family all the best over the coming weeks/months.
Love, Ali xx

Hello Adrian,
What you have done so bravely today on TV will save many lives. That is so much more than most people do in 70 years. I have been on the Anthony Nolan register for many years since my family was grabbed by leukaemia. My close friend of 46 is currently fighting it. My thoughts are now with you also.
You are an amazing inspiration.
Good luck, you're well overdue.

Tim, Great Yarmouth

Just wanted to say that you are truly a hero. My prayers are with you and your family.

Tina xxxxxxx

Adrian

At a loss as to what I can say / write. Can't believe what I have read.

You are in my thoughts, and your family. Without wanting to sound condescending, you really are brave, and selfless thinking about others, the campaign etc. Sending big hugs, love and more hugs. And I am another one who has signed up. Lost my cousin to leukemia and I hope one day a bit of me can help someone. Thank you for all you have done.

With love
xx Diana

Hi Adrian

I just wanted to say good on you for doing this blog. My husdand,chris, was diagnoised with accute myeloid leukaemia in jan 2006 i was 6 months pregnant and we had a little boy of 3. He had chemo and yes to see him go through it was heart breaking as he was ill with it, he was in the clear after the first lot so we were all relieved. Then a check up in feb 2007 it came back he had 6 months free. He then was told it didn't work and he had a newish drug as he was offered a stem cell transplant. He holds the hospitals record for mucisitus. Anyway we have just heard that the dreaded leukaemia has come back and he has a few months at the most the first month has already gone. His drs have all said that there is not anything he can do as the risks are to high and like you he wants to enjoy being part of the family for has long as he can.

I would love to make more of the gps aware of leukaemia as it took a brand new dr to order a full blood screen. He had been going down for six months as he had lumpos in his legs.

Anyway sending all my thoughts to you and your family. as i know it is a hard time.

I saw you on BBC Breakfast today, the first time I had heard of your story. Half Yorkshire myself - my mum is 91 next week and was a weaver from Almondbury near Huddersfield. She moved south to escape the poverty and harsh winter of 47.

Fact: Like it or not we are all dying. We don't know when or how but dying is what we're doing.

When we are told something like the bad news you've had then the sub-conscious kicks in. It has no reason and works on instructions so if someone says you are going to die it will help fulfill that instruction. The solution is the change the instruction.

Do this little exercise three times a day at least, it WILL help if you believe it can.

Sit in a quiet place and take three deep slow breaths. Close your eyes and visualise a cinema screen with you on it as you are now. See and feel a warm glow and visualise a bright light extending all round you like a large halo. Visualise the bad cell guys fading in the light, crumbling to dust and blowing away. See healthy cells replace them. Complete the visualisation by seeing yourself healthy and radient, bursting with fitness.

Just do it, reprogramme your sub-conscious. What have you got to lose? And if you haven't already, get a copy of The Journey by Brandon Bays here's the Amazon link.

http://amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h_/203-3164224-1441553?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=The+Journey&x=22&y=12

You can do this, don't allow others to programme your future.

Ciao

Adrian,

Yesterday was the first day I heard your name. Ever since, I have honestly been thinking of you constantly, when I think of your inspirational story. Discovering you now have weeks or months to live is something that I pray I never have to do, but you should be so proud of everything you have done, and are still trying to do to help others with the same fate as you.

I cannot express enough how, despite the fact your name drifted into my ears yesterday morning, you have inspired me, and how the tears are rolling as I read your blog, and finally try to give you a hug through the internet :)

Please, take care, and you shall be in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless Adrian.

Alice
16
Newcastle

What can I say? I am so sorry to hear your news. Life is so unfair, I have a son who is 22 and a complete waste of space. He doesn't work just sits on his backside moaning. If I could play god for a day I would swap his life for yours. You have so much to give and such a short time. I hope the time you have left you enjoy and pack as much as you can into it.

with love and a heavy heart
Celina

God bless

Ad - rather than think of something to say I am going to turn to the beautiful and funny words of a poet i like - John Hegley....

Needless to say I think this is how all of your close friends and family feel, albeit in a way that will hopefully make you laugh:

I need you like a bully needs to boast.
I need you like a ocean needs coast.
I need you like a doggy needs a lamppost.
I need you like a copper needs a crook.
I need you like a cranny needs a nook.
I need you like a lookalike needs somebody to look like.
I need you like a novel needs a plot.
I need you like the greedy needs a lot.
I need you like a hovel needs a certain level of grottiness to qualify.
I need you like acne cream needs spottiness.
Like a calendar needs a week.
Like a colander needs a leek.
Like people need to seek out what life on Mars is.
Like hospitals need vases.
I need you.
I need you like a zoo needs a giraffe.
I need you like a psycho needs a path.
I need you like King Arthur needed a table
that was for more than just for one.
I need you like a kiwi needs a fruit.
I need you like a wee wee needs a route out of the body.
I need you like Noddy needed little ears,
just for the contrast.
I need you like bone needs marrow.
I need you like straight needs narrow.
I need you like the broadest bean needs something else on the plate before it can participate in what you might describe as a decent meal.
I need you like a cappucino needs froth.
I need you like a candle needs a moth
if it's going to burn its wings off.

Basically I am not one to mince words so - I LOVE YOU, is from my heart. See you soon.

Big hugs and kisses forever xxx

I forgot to say chris was only 26 when diagnoised and he is only 28 now.

Dear Adrian,
I live in Portugal, and while watching sky news two days ago,I heard for the first time the bad news ! Since then I have been reading your blog (from the beginning)! As so many people have said, you are an inspiration to all of us. You are in my thoughts daily. I could go on but ....

Big hug,
Vicky

Dear Adrian,

May you spend your remaining time with the knowledge that many, many people have you in their hearts right now.
May you gain strength and hope from this.
May our prayers to God to help you through this most harrowing, indescribable torment.
Take our love and hold it inside your heart.

Charlie xxxxx

Adrian,

If someone had asked me this morning (before I read your site for the first time) about donating bone marrow, I would have replied that I believed it involved massive syringes being drilled deep into pelvic bones; something that was only done in the most desperate of circumstances.

What you are achieving through your campaign by dispelling this sort of ignorance - in the midst of your own anguish - is singularly remarkable.

In addition, your talent as a writer has meant that your story, your courage, and your humanity will remain beyond your too-short years here. You are turning a corner before some of us and I realise that you would have preferred to have had a long family life. But when you consider the families who will benefit from your campaign, and read how so many people have been inspired by your writing and your courage, I hope that you will see that your legacy will be enduring.

I wish for you everything that is good - no-one could be more deserving.

Amanda

Dear Adrian

Look what you have done for my son today.

My Love & a huge Thank you.

Your are guaranteed a better place when the time comes and I pray that will not be yet.

I am a regular blood doner and I will continue to be.

Very Best Wishes

Sebastian's Mum XX

Make the most of every day, every hour, every moment with those you love and who love you.

You've been an inspiration - and, I suspect, will continue to be.

That's something to be proud of. And something that not many people can say.

x

I have read your blog from start to finish tonight.

I have given my husband and children an extra special hug tonight, and I have registered online to become a blood donor. If I am suitable, I will register for bone marrow donation. My first appointment is next Friday. I like many others I suspect, have done this because of you.

I wish you the very best for wherever your journey takes you next.
Please don't give up, my husband survived Encephalitis 6 years ago. He has some frontal lobe brain damage, he has not and will not ever fully recover, we take each day at a time. Some days are good, some are bad. He suffers debilitating 24/7 migraines and fatigue, and his immune system, his balance and his memory is poor. He cannot regulate his body temperature and the drugs he takes for the headaches make him sick. He has also put on lots of weight. So far as we know, this condition is chronic but not life threatening, but alas it seems he has a rare form of recurring Meningitis, that means it can come back at any time. Perverse as it seems we are relieved to find recurring bouts of illness are 'just meningitis'!! Our fear is that one time we will not be lucky, his immune system will be particularly weak, the blood brain barrier fails, and the meningitis becomes encephalitis again. Encephalitis is not so forgiving and has terrible consequences that can last a lifetime or end it very suddenly.

My husband is amazingly strong and dignified and funny, and stubborn and grumpy and short tempered, and forgetful - never send him shopping without a list! He is humble and I have never heard him say why me - probably because he's forgotten most of what happened the week before, but there we go, perhaps that's not such a bad thing!! We have learned to laugh (rather inappropriately) at times at some of the side effects - the tuts from passers by who assume he is drunk or on drugs when he loses his balance and stumbles. The frowns and the passing of judgment when he says something inappropriate to me the kids, or an innocent bystander - not realising that the control mechanisms in his frontal lobe are damaged - he knows his tone/wording can be inappropriate, but he can't always control what he says, the worse the pain is the less control he has. Yet, he is still the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on!!! Your friends and your family will feel exactly the same way about you, as it seems do the many people touched by your words who have never met you.

Our situation is different to yours and doesn't begin to compare, but what has helped us is not to give up, never ever give up, you just never know what may be around the corner.

We have learned to appreciate what we do have and to live life as loudly and fully as we possibly can!! Stuff what you can't do, focus on what you can do, and my goodness, look at what you are doing!! Your family must be very, very proud!

Hi Adrian,
I am a blood donor, but have never thought about donating bone marrow - there has never been an occasion that has made me think about it.
I will sign up.
I'm in the US for another year, for work - when I get back to the UK and go back to the NBS, I will sign up for bm too.
Best wishes,
Tim

Is it better to not leave a comment at all when you can't find the right words to say or to leave a comment just to let you know how much your story has touched my heart and I was so sad to read this post. Sending good thoughts to you and Poppy, Baldy.

be terribly proud.... this world is lucky to have you.

Hiya,

Just wanted to say that I am another that found her way here and has read your entire story in one night. I can't really put into words how I feel, any more than I can even try to being imagining how you might feel. All I know is that you have moved me to tears several times tonight, and I am so sorry for all your exceptional bad luck.

I have already registered on both bone marrow donation and organ donation lists, but due to illness have not yet been able to provide a sample for tissue typing. As soon as I am able I shall visit the nearest blood drive to do so.

I am a genetics student and I have to say I really admire the way you have approached this and done amazingly well at explaining things in 'layman's terms'. Science is fantastic at helping people, at the compromise that one of the down sides is that lifesaving techniques are rarely well explained to people outside of 'science bubble' which puts a lot of people off.

I sincerely wish you all the best and thank you for your efforts in raising awareness about bone marrow donations, GvHD and leukaemia. I think you're an incredible, brave man.

Sara

Hello Adrian,

I have only learned of your tremendous struggles and extraordinary strength, complete openness and amazing generosity tonight on a video news clip. I then looked at some of your entries over the past year and - like all who read your words and see the imagery of your recent life, and I am sure also those meet you - I am touched immeasuably.

I wanted to say that from experience of losing my first love (college boyfriend I thought I would marry) first to a break up and then to his relaps of childhood brain cancer, that even a person who lives just within an average number of settings and has no blog the world can read can be an incredible, wise and kind soul who leaves indelible impressions and memories in all he meets (so was the case for my love and so I can see is the case for you).

My point is only that I hope that you can keep proud and warm thoughts in your heart as much as possible as you live out your days. Your close friends, family, and the thousands who have read your blog ALL will remember you for the rest of thir lives. And besides the countless that found your words a comfort as they struggled beside you, there will be others who will have learned such valuable information that they will be better able to help others or themselves navigate similar struggles. I hope you can keep feelings of darkness swept thoroughly into the corners of your mind if not tossing them out completely.

I imagine a very common fear of those who are approaching death is the thought: "Did I do enough that matters, that touched others' (especially loved ones) hears?" Well, I would strongly assert that you certainly have, Adrian. You have done this to a degree rarely seen and I imagine you are "in" so many hearts and will always be, that the beating sound must be resonating always in your ears.

I wish for you the smoothest most beautiful days spent with dear souls who know yours well and love you for it.

Take good care and Thank You for sharing your all of your life with all of us.

Margaret

I have just read in my local paper about your fight for donor registration and came to read about your journey. I am so sorry that it is so late along your journey that I have joined you but I plan to read all about it from the beginning.
There are no words that I can say (I have actually deleted and retyped this several times!) but I wish you peace during the months to come.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and friends.
Take care
xx

Dear Adrian

I fowarded a message via BBC NEWS BREAKFAST as soon as i heard.

I pray that you receive the Grace of Jesus Christ,Love of God and fellowship with the Holy Spirit.I have faith that you will receive complete healing.The seeds of your healing are in the BIBLE AND PRAYERS.MAY THE LORD HEAL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND BECOME A BLESSING TO THIS NATION AND THE WORLD.WITH LOVE IN CHRIST, PAT.

I was leisurely browsing the BBC website yesterday morning when I came across your story, yesterday afternoon I posted my forms to the Anthony Nolan trust. Keep doing what you are doing, your campaign is working!
Best wishes, love and hugs.
Alaine x

Hi Adrian

Your experiences have clearly touched many peoples hearts including my own. It is always humbling to see how people who are suffering find the strength to carry on and inspire people to make a change and do something worthwhile. I'm looking into becoming a donor now after realising that i too could make a difference. I'm certainly one of those people who thought the procedure was a painful one. Thankyou Adrian for reminding me how precious life is and not to take things for granted. I wish you and all your family and friends much love and peace

Melanie

As a journalist you must be used to having to dream up words, but I don't imagine there is anything you could say now that would even come close to explaining the reality.

I am sorry that the treatment did not work, but I have to say you are so incredibly pucker and bright, and such an inspiriation, that I hope your legacy goes on for enternity to encourage us all to take some action.

It took the death of a daughter of a freind of mine from Leukemia to finally stop being silly about the whole thing and get on the register. I can't imagine a better gift to someone than the chance of a cure or a better life.

I hope you can stay as well as possible for as long as possible.

I am astonished by your honesty and your bravery, and wish more than anything that you would have gotten the outcome you expected. I'm so sorry you didn't, both for you and for all who love you. May your final days be more lovely than all the ones you've known before, and may they be filled with peace.

Adie,
You are one of the bravest people I believe I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Your composure and dignity this morning on the TV was truly awesome. God bless you mate and I look forward to seeing what other things you have planned.

Best Wishes

Nick Brooke (Physiology Liverpool)

hi there, just saw you on the news last night, and now read the site, my daughter 28 carrie has had acute myeloid leukemia rendering her unable to have children, she has couragously fought it with the help of my sons' stem cells in birmingham hospital. unfortunately a friend of mine her son lost his fight steven who adrian chiles knew i havent been able to face going to visit his mother. i thank god every day my daughter is here, she has a few more years before she has 5 year all clear as when this bloody horrible thing came back you take it from when it returns. so lengthening the process. she has started childrens hosp in phsio therapy in brum and is an inspiration to all our family. i cannot imagine what is happening for you but god bless you and you are so brave. may you have the peace you deserve so thoroughly. linda.posted 22nd may twenty to 3 pm.

I think that what you are doing is incredible. I used to give blood on a regular basis when I was in school and have fallen off since I have been on the job. I made an appointment this morning to give blood and become a bone marrow donor. Love your family and enjoy your days and most of all remember to smile :) Know we are thinking of you.

Honorable Adrian,
You have been an important teacher and an inspiration. So many people now, when faced with tough news, will reflect upon your experience and perspective. You deserve much respect.

In the end, we are all in the same line, and hold the same ticket. Some of us are closer to the door. See you there my friend. Kory (Wyoming USA)

Adrian,

I came across your blog for the first time today. I cant express how heart sick I am for you. I am sure you already know this, but you have done a wonderful thing by bring awareness to people on donating bone marrow. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Bill (USA)

Adrian,

I wish to God that you would not have to go through this pain and struggle. There are so many people in this world that take their lives for granted and yet there are brave souls such as yourself that can make light out of the worst situations. I know that the Lord has far better plans for you. You are an angel on earth and must educate as many people as you can so that others can do something to help. God Bless you and your family

I ran across your story while surfing the internet this morning, all the while I am supposed to be working ;o). I am really glad that you have put yourself out there, though be it uncomfortable, you have opened the eyes and hearts of many people around this entire globe. I commend you on your bravery and the honesty that you have portrayed in your blogs. I may only be one single person but you have made an impact on my thoughts and prayers, you will be carried with me always. :) Chin up, stay as strong and positive as possible and pray, as I will be praying for you.

Katie

Adrian,
After reading the whole of 'Baldy's Blog' in one afternoon, I have to say you are the one of the most couragous people I have ever come across. You have enlightened your readers lives and helped the many people in a similar as yourself while reminding the rest of us that life is precious.
I for one will now look at Donating bone marrow from reading this blog.
God Bless
xx

Dear Adrian,
I came to know about you from news Video . There is hope for you . "Lord Jesus Christ" can heal you from this disease . He raised even the dead , nothing is too hard for HIM .Please,please,please don't give up .He created you and He is able to heal you and give you abundant life . He has more knowledge than the doctors since He created you wonderfully in your mother's womb .
"That which is impossible with man is possible with God" It may be impossible for doctors but not for God . Just ask HIM and He will .I am praying for you and I expect God's intervention . Cheer up and be healed in Jesus Mighty Name.
Preethi

My heart is saddened and grieved. I wish I had heard about Baldy's Blog a lot sooner than today. There are no words of comfort that I can write than can make your situation better. I will remember you in my prayers. I will pray that the pain you feel will be comforted by the tenderness of God's love. I will pray that He make you strong and brings forth peace in your heart and in your mind. And I will pray for your family and for their strenght. You are right when you say that we will all face death. The only thing that matters now is that our hearts are right before God...I know that God may be the last thing you want to hear about at this point, but I want to tell you that you will face Him one day! You will have to give an account of your life to Him...I pray that your name may be found in the Book of Life and that you may walk into eternity...John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Confess your sins and believe in faith that He has forgiven you. Believe that Jesus Christ died and rose on the third day so that you may be saved! And that you are made whole, despite of your circumstances. Welcome Him into your heart. You will be in my prayers...God bless you and your family.

Wow. That is the only word that comes to mind when I think of such a situation. Amazing, is another word that comes to mind when I think of what an acceptional person you are. While others in your situation might just let grief and despair take them over, you have stood up and let your voice be heard... and even comforted others about your conditon. There are hardly words to express what an inspiration you are to those around you and to all of us all over this world. It is such a terrible waste for someone so young and so brave to be taken. But fear not, you're name will live on... you're wonderful attitude and strength will give hope to others for years to come. I know that God has a special place for you in Heaven. You are in my thoughts and prayers, I hope that these last days or months are calm and peaceful for you. You're already an angel... just waiting for you're wings.

Adrian,
I am a nurse and am certainly old enough that you could be my son. Therefore, I make two connections with you- as a health care giver, and as a Mom.
I find you honesty heartbreakingly sweet.
You are on my mind and I am so sorry that such a person as yourself has to face this. We are with you. K

I happened to stumble upon MSN.com and saw a clip of your story.

I am sooo moved by your story and your struggle to enjoy the remainder of your life.

I wish there was something I can do. I am a frequent blood donor and hopefully there is more I can do.

Adrian, I wish you the best and my hope that God and his angels will comfort you and your family.

First...thank you MSN! I would have never known about you if it werent for their video.

Secondly, I'm afraid I've never been really good at words of comfort...

But, your story has touched me, it has made me much more aware of what I can do to help. I've started an email on your behalf to all of those I know and love.

Although an ocean seperates us, this has hit so close to home.

You have a lot of people watching you, praying for you, and loving you.

...Just add me to that list...

Love always

Wow Mr.Adrian Sudbury, you are an angel and a hero. I pray that you really understand how much you touch people. I have been blessed with a child, and no life threatening disease, but sometimes I just forget how lucky I am. Thank you for reminding me how precious life is, and that there really are lovely people in this world. Please stay strong, your mind is stronger than you may believe, so just believe in hope, and in tomorrow.

Many blessings dear dear Adrian.

Peace,

Niki
St.Louis, MO ~USA

Adrian:

I am so very sorry to hear your latest news. I would be reckless, as a Christian, if I didn't ask you if you had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Surrendering your life to Jesus is a miracle itself. You may not have received your miracle in this life time, but the miracle of being re-born is something that you can't go into the next life without. I trust and pray that you make this necessary decision and that you be at peace and know that God loves you and cares so much for you. So much, that He sent His only begotten Son to die for your sins. Remember, All things are possible with God....there is nothing too difficult for him. He'll never leave you, nor forsake you. You're a precious person and I pray that your days are filled with happiness and joy. God be with you.

In Christ,
Donna, USA

Hi,
I'm sooo sorry to hear about your sitution. I am so moved by your story I watched on MSN.. You are very brave! I wish there was something I can do to help, I only wish!!!
Sonia

Adrian,

I hope that you read this message and that you are able to truly understand the impact that you have had on those of us who have read your blog. Thank you for sharing your story. I have MS and while it is not immediately life threatening, I can understand the fear of being sick. I will pass on your message of the importance of getting tested and donating bone marrow. I wish that I could hold your hand and thank you for sharing your life with everyone. I wish you peace and hope and above all, I wish for you that your remaining days be filled with happiness, laughter and the love of your family and friends.

Susan B.

Dear Adrian,

I became aware of you and your amazingly brave story by chance very recently when reading the Mirror newspaper. A couple of days later again by chance I turned on the television and you were live on the national news being interviewed.

I feel as though I would have been very priviledged to have met you.

I write to you today as I work as an Audio Spiritualist Medium in Cardiff and feel compelled to do so.

I am unaware of your religious beliefs and whether you have ever visited a Spiritualist Medium but I believe that I have evidenced an afterlife and want to communicate this to you.

I know that that you will enjoy your family's love here before looking down upon them and caring for them from the SpiritWorld.

Please accept my love and immense admiration.

James Eades.

Dear Sir.

Look yourself in the mirror and say "Today will be good. Today I will live!" And then you do, and so you will. And each day you do this, and each day you believe in the power of you. Be thankful you woke and were able to say this to yourself and be thankful that others believe in you too.

Each day you should earnestly believe in yourself and the power of being positive. You might surprise yourself... and your doctors!

Do not give up hope, but rather keep taking it one day at a time. I support you and your determination to make a difference in the world.

Thank you for being you... thank you for being human!

Sincerely, with lots of good energy and hope,
Christina

London, Ontario

Dear Adrian:

I am a middle aged woman who was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I'm lucky, everything is going well for me at the moment; still who knows what the future brings.

Cancer is a moment to moment thief. It elimates future tense from the vocabulary. You forget how to plan and some forget how to hope. Without hope we falter, we sink into misery and despair

You, by word and example, have given hope to the rest of us. You have showed us that even in the face of that dark journey we can fill the world with light.

Thank you for this beautiful lesson *S* You will be in my prayers every day.

You are an incredibly brave young man. It's hard to know what to say to you, but that I appreciate your openess to this disease. You seem like a very strong individual and I hope that others can gain the strength that they need through your words. You and your family and friends will forever be in my prayers.

Adrin, I have just lost my dad. Whay I feel is very different than what I expected. I miss him more than imaginable, but the peace I feel for him has far outweighed my sorrow. My daughter was outside the house at the time of his death. As she was looking up she seen over the room an old woman in a rocking chair waiting for him. She saw the ski open up and take him to heaven.

Telling you this story I only hope to let you know not to worry about us here on earth. You will be greatly missed but you will have such peace in heaven. Going to God must be the greatest event in life. God has a purpose for all of us. I know he will take care of you and you are in the safest and greatest place ever. This is not the end for you.

Dear Adrian,

I would like to add to my previous message if I may please. I understand that in your situation your time needs to be fully utilised between your family and friends, and communicating your message of hope and public awareness of your illness and what can be done to support people in similar situations. However I would like to say to you personally that I am here if you would like to contact me personally; I believe that you have my E-mail address from this message?

With love to you Adrian,

James Eades.

I am at a loss as to what to say. I just saw a news excerpt about your tremendous journey, and saw such familiarity. I lost a brother to acute lymphoblastic leukemia just over 9 months ago. Time hasn't necessarily lessened the sense of loss, but his battle rings so similar to your own. I can only wish you the very best.

Hi, I just found your blog via your interview that appeared on MSNBC.

Just wanted to say hello, and that if I'm ever in a situation like yours, I can follow your example.

Best of luck.

Tricia

Give God all the Glory! Although we may not understand God's plans....they are beautiful plans at all times. Your story is a blessing to so many people and I just want to say that I love you and I'm praying for you and your family.

Adrian,

I'm so very sorry you have to go thru this, you are only a baby but yet you have lived a wonderful life filled with loved ones and great experiences. You have touched many people in so many brilliant ways because of your gift to write and to tell your story.

There is something more beautiful waiting for you, and please know that you and your family are always in our thoughts and prayers.

May God bless you, and bring peace to you and your family,

Josephine

Adrian,

Your blog has become big news in the last few days and that's how I saw it. I hope you know that you have done what you tried to do - many more people are looking at bone marrow donation as something they should do...and your suggestions about the education of school kids, looking at how other countries work with marrow donation and matching and more have been heard all over the globe. I'm a nurse and I know that it's made an impression on me - one that I will share with others who work directly in the field of oncology. I am one of many and you have been heard - it won't be forgotten.

Forgive my familiarity - but I know a poem that came to mind after I heard your video blog on MSN. I wanted to share it with you and hope you don't take it as a morbid offering - but rather, a recognition of what you have accomplished.

I'll try to post it as a copy and paste here. It's AE Housman's "To An Athelete Dying Young" just in case I can't pull it off.

More words would be meaningless - best thoughts.

(from AE Housman)
The time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.

To-day, the road all runners come,
Shoulder-high we bring you home,
And set you at your threshold down,
Townsman of a stiller town.

Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields were glory does not stay
And early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose.

Eyes the shady night has shut
Cannot see the record cut,
And silence sounds no worse than cheers
After earth has stopped the ears:

Now you will not swell the rout
Of lads that wore their honours out,
Runners whom renown outran
And the name died before the man.

So set, before its echoes fade,
The fleet foot on the sill of shade,
And hold to the low lintel up
The still-defended challenge-cup.

And round that early-laurelled head
Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead,
And find unwithered on its curls
The garland briefer than a girl's.

Welcome to smalltown Ohio, USA. I wanted to let you know that you are sucessful in your mission. You should be very proud of your accomplishment. The word is spreading!
My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Adrian

I first learned of you yesterday yet I am all to familiar with this monster...
I lost my father to complications of luekemia
after a 3 yr battle on 2/23/99. I admire your courage to share with the world your thoughts feeling and dark moments. I can only hope the peace you seek will be granted to you with grace and humilty

Forever touched

C

Oh Adrian - you have already won. You have not let the disease classify you, you have taken it and run all the way. Good days bad days, you've shared them all and changed many lives by the sharing.

KNOW that you are never alone, every thought every prayer for you surrounds you with our love.

You unzippered the dark.

Here's to what you've done, and what's to come...you'll be in my thoughts.

Sending my love.

You are so brave and you write so beautifully: this blog is inspirational. May God and all the angels and saints be with you and comfort you always. You and your family are in my prayers. Helen

Hi Adrian

Like so many I saw you on breakfast news this morning Until this week I knew nothing about you or your illness your bravery strenghth and courage are amazing and have touched the heart of so many people, mine included my love thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Love and light Chris

I just stumbled upon your blog today and read all day long. I wish so much that relapse would not have occured.
I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

You do not know me, but know this: I will pray to God for you. Miracles do happen. You have left a beautiful mark on the world thus far and are loved by many, most of which you've never met. Much love, strength and continued courage to you.
With love,
Sherry

I've just heard of your plight as it was posted on the main page for msnbc.com--

You are an extremely brave soul for bearing your experiences over the last year and a half for all to see.

I pray that a miraculous event takes place and that your health is restored to that of some normalcy.

For the cards that you have been dealt, you deserve to fulfill all of your dreams of becoming a husband, father and top standing journalist.

Thank you for sharing your life in such a raw form. The work that you have done will no doubt spread the word of the need for more donors.

May God be with you in the journey that you have endured and in your journey that lies ahead.

Kim
Cincinnati, Ohio USA

Adrian,

You made a brave choice, to live the rest of your days on your own terms and as peacefully as possible.

My boyfriend passed away in 2002 of a general carcinoma, he was 29. He was given the choice to continue on with clinical trials, but had decided he had had enough. In those last few weeks, after he stopped the treatment, we finally began to see the person we had known come back to us, he was so much happier and so much more comfortable. He was scared, as I'm sure any of us would be, but it was as if a great weight had been lifted off of him and he was able to enjoy his remaining time with his family and friends. I cherish those last days so much and I know his family and friends do too!

No one can say how many days, weeks, months or years you have left. For even us healthy ones are time on this earth is decided by someone other than us. Though I was never a religious person before, I believe everything happens for a reason and there is a plan working even though we may not know what it is. I also believe that there is life beyond what we know here on earth and there are better things ahead for you. Your family and friends are better off for having you in their lives and for going through this experience with you even though they may not be able to comprehend it now.

One of my favorite quotes I read not long after my boyfriends death - "Trajedy increases the souls capacity for darkness and for light." - C.S. Lewis

We just have to look for the light.

You have done an amazing thing with this blog. It is your child and your words will remain long after you are gone. I hope it will continue on, that someone will take it over for you and keep your work alive.

Dear Adrian, having read your blog and following your story on the tv and in newspapers i find you an inspiration and such a courages man. God bless Adrian x Janine x

Stay strong my friend, stay strong. Remember, this disease may beat you physically but it can never beat you emotionally unless you allow it to. Detach from everything and realize that everything is insignificant, even our very lives. We came from nothing and we will return to nothing. It doesn't matter, we're just energy.

Your story has touched me greatly and I will never feel afraid to be a bone marrow donor ever again. With love and admiration,

Jonathan
San Diego

Adrian,
I have just heard about your blog and felt like I had to share some of my experiences with you. Jan 2003 my husband found out he had AML, Aug 2003 we finally found a close match for a stem cell transplant. We traveled to Seattle, WA for 100 days of transplant. He too suffered GVHD and was very sick to say the least. We were released from SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Inst) on Dec 12 to finish his treatments at our home town. Jan 2004 the leukemia returned and on May 14, 2004 he passed away after a long and courageous battle. We battled the disease together and I was by his side, I became his mouth, eyes and ears and his caregiver.

I have only one thing to say if you are fighting Leukemia you are in for the worse battle of your life. Yes, more donors are needed so more people like you and my husband, Dean would have that 100% match to raise the survival rate. There was a NO Charge drive in the town I live in and on the Anniversary of his death my children and I were put on the donor list.

God Bless and may you find comfort in him these last days of your young life. A life that has been well lived thru your pursuit more donors have been aware of how much they are needed.

Stephanie

Dear Adrian,
You do not know me and more than an ocean separates us but you have managed to touch my heart. I have always believed that God sends his angels to be as you have said about your blog “a beacon of light".
A shining example to always have faith and to never give up hope. You are exactly that, an angel. Your story has spread around the world and people have gathered strength from you, (perhaps finding even to their faith).You have given the gift to even those of us who are not suffering such as you are.
While I am sure at times it may feel like all of your pain has been in vain and your life cut short know, that there will be someone out there who will have been given a gift from you, a gift to fight for their life ,and they will prevail.
I have been a blood donor for a while now, and have tried numerous times to donate bone marrow.
I only wish with all of my heart that I could have been that one person who could have made all the difference in your world in that you would not have had to suffer so you could go on living a long and happy life. It is seeing good, honest people like you with the world to give, and much to live for ending up in a position like yours, especially in face of all the evil out there. It does cause one to wonder some days if there really is a God and why he would let such tragedy happen.
Adrian, please know that from this day forward you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. You are a blessing, an angel who has given this world some of the greatest gifts already, by educating people to know they can be a hero to somebody, giving them the gift of life. You have shown others the strength to fight, and to see the bright light at the end of the tunnel what ever it maybe. God bless you Adrian.
Peace and Love Always,
Stacey

Dear Adrian,
You do not know me and more than an ocean separates us but you have managed to touch my heart. I have always believed that God sends his angels to be as you have said about your blog “a beacon of light".
A shining example to always have faith and to never give up hope. You are exactly that, an angel. Your story has spread around the world and people have gathered strength from you, (perhaps finding even to their faith).You have given the gift to even those of us who are not suffering such as you are.
While I am sure at times it may feel like all of your pain has been in vain and your life cut short know, that there will be someone out there who will have been given a gift from you, a gift to fight for their life ,and they will prevail.
I have been a blood donor for a while now, and have tried numerous times to donate bone marrow.
I only wish with all of my heart that I could have been that one person who could have made all the difference in your world in that you would not have had to suffer so you could go on living a long and happy life. It is seeing good, honest people like you with the world to give, and much to live for in ending up in a position like yours, especially in face of all the evil out there. It does cause one to wonder some days if there really is a God and why he would let such tragedy happen.
Adrian, please know that from this day forward you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. You are a blessing, an angel who has given this world some of the greatest gifts already, by educating people to know they can be a hero to somebody, giving them the gift of life. You have shown others the strength to fight, and to see the bright light at the end of the tunnel what ever it maybe. God bless you Adrian.
Peace and Love Always,
Stacey

Adrian, I have never read your blog until now because I had never known about it- but I saw your BBC story on bone marrow donation. I have been meaning to donate- but selfishly never gotten round to it- I am joining the bone marrow register next week- Because I read your story. And I will ask friends and family to join too. You will certainly leave a legacy as you hope, and save lots of lives. You are an amazing man. I am very sad to hear your story.. good luck with your weeks and months, enjoy them and stay strong.xxx

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

Janet
Canada

Adrian,

I am very sad to read your story and yet amazed at your courage and honesty. My father died of kidney cancer several years ago and it was truly devestating to watch. He handled it with the kind of grace you have and I always wondered how he truly felt. Reading your blogs gives me an idea of what he must have been going through.

Maybe God puts people here like you to shine in the darkness of this world and give hope. I hope the rest is peaceful for you and full of love.

With deep admiration,
Amy

I live in the US and I saw your interview and thought I would look for your blog. Wow you are an amazing person and most people don't appreciate life that is twice your age.. You are a great example about how to live life and make good of the time you have in this world. I am so sorry to hear this bad news. I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for your knowledge about donating bone marrow and how you love life. I have to say that I feel blessed to have come across your blog. You have reminded everyone that has read your blog to stop and smell the roses!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! God bless you.

Love Always,
Meile

Hi Adrian,

I have to say I agree with you that you have been unlucky and that life has been extremely unfair. In fact, it's absolute bs**t. However the one thing that really shows when reading your blog is just how much you are loved.

You have been so very blessed in this regards. There are just SO many people who care about you so much. If a person lived to be 100 and didn't have anyone that loved them, they would have been jilted from life much, much more than you could ever be.

The warmth of your words & your attitude surrounds you like a blanket i'm not sure you know you own - but you do. The people who actually know you in real life are very, very lucky.

When I look at your pictures I don't see someone who is sick. You are beautiful. Plus you're obviously very cool! hahaha.. :)

If you ever change your mind to try again I would donate whatever amount of marrow you need. Seriously.

-Beth

God bless you.

Your strength and courage inspire me.
I literally cried after seeing your story on MSN news.
A part of my heart goes out to you.
Though i dont know you,I love you.
Silly huh. But your story really hit me.

You're such an inspiration! Thank You for sharing this with the world. My son Ian was diagnosed with Leukemia November 2006. He's still undergoing treatment, and has a year and a half to go. God Bless You

Adrian,
You are a great inspiration to this world,reading your blog gives courage to fight back. Life lived is count of the good thing you have done not the years lived, every words written in your blog is a word of inspiration, You are a hero.
Have a safe journey.

Adrian,

Like many others I just recently heard of your plight and blog through MSN. There is nothing I can add to the eloquent comments you've already recieved but I felt compelled to let you know just through reading your words, and those of your friends I can see you are a beautiful soul and touched many even before this journey began.

My heart truly aches for you and your family (and to me family include's friends). My grandmother suffered from a form of lukemia years ago and I still remember her smiles for us through her suffering. You will be in my prayers and thoughts daily. My heartfelt wish is that you personally know our Lord and you will be rewarded in heaven for your works here on earth. I have the utmost respect for you and your decision and I pray you as well as your family are given peace, conviction and comfort.

Lori

Dear Adrian,

I have only just found out about your fight by watching it on TV.

You are truly a brave young man and an inspiration to all.

I lost my Dad 4 years ago to cancer and I was inconsolable. I had lost my "Daddy," I was now an orphan.

Then, I lost my husband to cancer 9 months ago and his acceptance of his death was incomprehensible to me. I didn't want him to die, I wanted to keep him here with me. But no mater how hard or often I prayed, it didn't change the outcome.

Now as I look back I was being selfish, it was "I want" never thinking of their suffering.

But with both of them, I saw them reaching out to their angels who had come to take them to their Heavenly home, just as you will when your time is close. I can only pray that you have a Blessed and peaceful death.

To your family: "The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved one is safe in the hands of God."

You are truly an inspiration and example to those of us how to live our lives.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."

"Ecclesiastes"

Adelle, USA

Adrian,
You are an absolute inspiration to me. I read about your blog on MSN this morning, and have been reading ever since.

I lost my 24 year old sister to melanoma 5 years ago. So many of your stories remind me of her.

You are an unbelievable man. Thank you for sharing your story.

God Bless You.

Kim
USA

Dearest Adrian,

I just caught a small clip of one of your interviews while I was watching other videos on MSN video, and I've been reading your blogs all day.
I cannot put into words how much your blogs have touched me (All the way across the Atlantic and across America to Utah). I am truly am amazed by your strength, and admire you.
You certainly have been dealt a hand in life, and I think that you have proven yourself strong enough to handle anything.
I wish that I could take your pain, and make things better for you. I hope you can feel my love and support. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope to talk to you on a more personal note sometime soon.
Lots of Love,
Tanya J.
You will be in my prayers and in my heart.

Adrian,

I hug you, your mind, body and spirit, with all of the warmth, love, compassion and strength I hold as a human being. You will not be alone in your uncoming journey to far better places. Though I have never met you, I send you all of my love. May peace and harmony be with you.

~ Noelle
California - USA

I just finished reading your blog...i am so sorry you are going through this and in the last 12 months, due to my own illness, i have been searching for alternative ways to get healthy...i discovered a lot of information in this time and use many natural remedies ...please email me so i can pass some of them on to you...all the best

I don't want to speak against fate,but out of all the cruel people why you.. Your in my prayers

Adrian:

I admire your bravery, acceptance and knowledge. Your story has made me see life differently, and I love you for that. You are a very special person...an inspiration for us all.

"As the door closes
on the chapter in this life,
another door will open for you
in the Afterlife...
All of your terrible suffering
will have gone away,
And you will live forever
in pain free peace each day."

God Bless You,

Missy, USA

Hi luv!

I don't want to spent my comment on telling u how terrible this is, you already know it. I will tell u that I've had experiences with cancer since I've lost both parents to it and for some "beyond me" reason I truly believe that someday I'll probably catch it as well, don't know why is just a feeling.
What I wanted to say to you is that despite all of this tragedy that you've been living for a year and a half you seemed to be the kinda of person who doesn't wake up in the mornings with regrets, I do...almost everyday. Life presented you with chances and you took them all! even if it didn't workout at the end...me? I'm chicken shit, I've let many opportunities passed me by. This chance that you took on embracing your illness and share it with the world has touched and changed many of our lifes and the way we see things.
After reading your entire blog I can truly almost picture you telling us that it was definetly not easy, but that it can and it is worth it. God bless you and your family, I will NEVER forget your journey.
With lots of luv and hugs from Ecuador!!

Olga

I arranged a bone marrow drive for a dear friend's brother and couldn't believe how amazing the response was. I will continue to encourage people to fight the fear and face the facts and wish you nothing but peace and happiness.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I watched my brother fight leukaemia for 9 months. Honestly the hardest 9 months of my life. I am a big guy at 6'5" and over 300 pounds and yet I sit here and have great memories and the memories of my brothers fight with leukaemia. I know that the battle is hard, but there is never a time to give up the fight! I want to encourage anyone facing this aweful thing to continue to fight and we will eventually win. God Bless you and everyone facing leukaemia.

20% is alot keep fighting.

I just wanted to tell you that you have been a real inspiration to me. I am also fighting a losing battle with lukemia. I hope that you and your family have some happy times in the next few weeks and God bless you.

Hi Adrian:
I came across your blog today from MSN and I have not been able to think about anything else. I have told all my friends and family about it and I'm going to look into being a donor. Your blog is a shining beacon and you have done so much.

I respect your decision. Like so many others have said here, it is quality of life and not quantity that matters. I am glad you are at peace with your decision. I wish my words could really capture what I'm feeling. I have been so moved by this, I just wanted to reach out and thank you for all that you have done. I wish you peace in your heart. My thoughts are with you and your family. I am thinking of you.

Caitlin
Denver, CO USA

Hey. I am a fellow writer -- an aspring fiction writer of twenty-two from the states -- who came upon your story through MSN news online. I only want to say that I know you in no intimate fashion whatsoever, but in my mind, you will always be remembered as a hero. A fighter, and a hero. Love you, Adrian, all the way from the U.S.A. Be thinking of you, man.

Godspeed,
Sean

Dear Adrian,

I can understand how you feel because I am suffering from those dreadful moments as well; being strucked by one disease followed by another, then another, but never ever able to be given any firm diagnosis or cure even after years of treatment because of the rareness and abnormalities of my diseases.

Still breathing, I am full of hope for a miracle and I sincerely pray that one will be given to us soon. Please have the strength to carry on because it is important for those who love you.

With love and prayers,
Kim

Goodbye my dear friend.

Everyone I know goes away in the end.

Dear Adrian,

I'm sorry to hear that news. I read about you in the Metro newspaper yesturday. I hope leukaemia will get cured one day. I'd like to offer you hope. Do this one thing for me.
Please visit www.lookingforgod.com to find out more about eternity and God. I don't want to indoctrinate you. I just want to think on these things.

Yours, Cheryl.

Dear Adrian,

This is Kim again. Reading through your blog, I can't bear your despair as it is a mirror reflection of mine. I want you to know that you are not the only exceptionally unlucky one out there.

I have made that kind of decision you are making now, but it was real hard for me to see the tears and sorrow of the people I love and care about, which eventually gave me a new strength to bear whatever psychological hurdles and physical trauma of continuing my intensive treatment for their sake. I don't know how long I can continue with this, but I want my family to be able to find peace after my death, which I believe will not be possible if they were to lose me to my decision of giving up my life. Hence, I am not giving up till it overtakes me with death. I will try to push for more time and hope for a miracle.

I hope by sharing this with you, you will find a new strength in you to fight your illness no matter how hard it is.

With love,
Kim

Adrian,

I saw your story in one of the Sunday papers and caught you on BBC Breakfast.

I am not sure whether you believe you are brave, I certainly think you are, but by highlighting the donation issue you are doing a very valuable thing.
A good friend of mine recieved a marrow transplant 7 years ago and is doing well, so it goes to prove that it can work in many cases.
I will certainly be contacting the relevant people reference becoming a doner (hope the spelling is right otherwise I am offering to become a kebab!).

I hope you continue to have fun and you enjoy the time you have left with your loved ones.

I guess the only real positive is that you do have the opportunity to say goodbye in the way that you want.

Good luck.

Shaun.

Adrian,
Well done on your triumph bringing the importance of bone marrow donors to the fore.
My daughter was diagnosed with ALL at the age of 6 and after treatment, relapsed in 2002. She needed a bone marrow transplant also. Her survival rate was 50%. We were exceptionally lucky to find an unrelated match from a donor through the welsh national blood registry. I cannot thank this man enough. Unfortunately neither persons identity can be known. Like your transplant, your female donor was from Germany. What brave, caring people they are.
The treatment before transplant is horrendous and the side effects after transplant - well, i can only try to eradicate it from my mind.
I can sympathise with you Adrian. You are very brave to face what lies ahead.
I will certainly keep pushing for donors to join the registers. Keep well, enjoy yourself and peace be with you.

i salute you sir.

Hi Adrian,

I Read your story for the first time yesterday, and was then glued to my computer for over an hour, reading the blogs from the beginning. What a brilliant, funny, brave, inspiring person you are. My prayers go out to you and your family. If anyone is worthy of a miracle, it's you.

Lacey
Texas, USA

Adrian

Thank You for sharing your story, I have been lucky to have had a healthy family and thank God everyday. You have opened my eyes to something I was unfamiliar with and I will make sure and tell everyone I know to read your story. I believe everyone is put on this earth for some reason and Adrian maybe your story is your reason. God Bless you and your
family......
Debi
USA

Hello. I just wanted to say how touched and moved I have been by your story. The way you have maintained your dignity and drive throughout this ordeal is a testament to what kind of man you are. I wish you the best in your endeavours to educate people and would like you to know that my thoughts are with you, your family and your friends.

Wishing you all the best
Stuart

Pretty amazing stuff, Adrian.

I like to think of myself as a fairly hardened person, always removing myself from the emotion of the many heartaches we see each day.

But in reading your blog, I cried.

And then I couldn't stop reading it, and most of the posts you attracted.

Whatever happens, and I'm not that religious but I sure hope for a miracle, whatever happens you HAVE changed so much around you in your time on earth.

In a short life to date, you've achieved more than many of us hoe to in a lifetime 3xs the length.

Best wishes.

Hi Adrian,

Check you out!

Firstly I would like to say you still look sexy on your photos and you have a big heart :-).

I haven't read all of your articles because I am constantly crying. You have really touched my heart.

I'm glad you have had a good life and I hope you will cherish the rest of what you have left. At least you have done everything your way.

How do you now expext to fill this big hole you will leave in many peoples hearts?????

All my love. xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello Adrian

My name is Emma, we dont know each other. I saw you on the morning news a few days ago. At the time I was eating toast and feeling quite sad anyway...because I lost someone very special to me lately and its still hurting lots...no not that sort of 'lost', just lost to me. I lost that person because of my own selfishness & fear....mainly selfishness.
So my grief forgotten for now...as I sat and listened to you and tears welled up and spilled and the lump in my throat put an end to finishing breakfast. I felt so enlightened after your news piece, and grateful and so many other things....I thought 'Em wake up and smell the coffee, then go smell the roses!!' I have been blessed too many times in my 32 years to remember, Ive never known real sickness. So far Ive been one of the lucky ones. I decided it was time to stop being selfish and to start feeling the fear but just going for it anyway. It was time to stop thinking 'I want to be a better person'...and to start acting like a better person...and you had showed me a way to start this journey. Im printing out the Donor Recruitment form from the Anthony Nolan Trust, Im fully committed to being a bone marrow donor and will go all the way to do what I can...and this is from the girl who needed to be held down for blood to be taken by two burly nurses about 7 years ago (they offered me a lollipop afterwards and told me I was a brave girl..ahem!) So yeah - was a huge scardy cat with needles etc - but no more.
Adrian thank you for sharing your story, you are a really inspirational guy - so brave. So many people will help and be helped because of you - everyone I know will hear about this and I will encourage them all to be donors.
You helped me to start to be a better person - and I can only imagine my joy when I (hopefully) match someone and get a chance to be a donor...Adrian I wish for you the best love, peace, happiness, contentment, joy...all that great stuff!

Hi Adrian
my name is laura and my dads name is john curtis he also has leukimia i believe you were both in hospital together, we are all so deeply upset with your news, life is just so cruel and unfair to go through so much so young.My dad read your article in the paper a couple of weeks ago when we were away for a nice break for him, when he became deeply upset with how things have turned out for you and the friend you met in hospital who had passed away my dad also new him and got very emotional because he didnt know until he read what you had wrote. times are very scary at the moment my dad has his bone marrow transplant on the 19th of june with two lots of chemo as well, im also 24 and very scared of the outcome for him,i feel for you and think your such a lovely peson for making people more aware of bone marrow donation. your in our hearts laurax.

All I can say is God bless you for what you are trying to accomplish. Your testiment to other people is truly an inspirational one.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Holly

Hi Adie, have not had the pleasure of meeting you in person, but would like you to know that in the face of such adversity, you have shown so much grace, dignity and strength.I was diagnosed with breast cancer 18mths ago and following a mastectomy had accelerated chemo followed by radio. I hope you had your treatment at Weston Park!

Everybody says to you 'your'e so brave' but at the end of the day nobody else can do it for you. I hope your massive effort for bone marrow donation will be recognised as you are a truly extrodinary person.

Enjoy what you tme you have left, but please go out in style, at least with a bang!!!!!

Much love to you & Poppy & God bless.Al xxxxx

Adrian -

As another young person (29) recently diagnosed and undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, I can only imagine hearing those devastating words that the cancer has returned and is incurable. I have found comfort in your website and can relate to many of the things you have gone through. You will forever be remembered for your dedication to those who suffer like you and I have and you should be comforted by the fact that your memory will live on for generations. Your impact on humanity is immeasurable and there are many of us grateful for the life that you have been blessed with. I wish you the happiest of days and you will forever be in my thoughts and prayers as it is people like you that truly make a difference in this world. To the end of the earth and beyond I wish you the utmost love and peace.

Admiration from across the pond,

Lucia

Hi Adrian,

My name is Michele, I live in Nova Scotia and have just read your blog. I wish you great success in bringing your message to many people. I also want to extend my thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I know what your family is going through I just recently lost my grandmother on December 13, 07 to cervical cancer, I don't wish this on anyone. I will continue to pray for you and ask for God to give you and your family strength and comfort for your journey ahead.

God Bless and stay strong.

Michele

Whatever time there is left be selfish and do whatever you want, when you want and how you want, you have given your all to this damned disease my husband went through cancer treatment a few years ago and thankfully he has recovered, but the fear of it returning is always there. God bless you.

Dear Adrian,

I want to share this news article that I read today. Please read it. It really proves that miracles do happen, so don't give up just yet.

'Woman Wakes Up After Family Says Goodbye, Tubes Pulled

NewsNet5.com
updated 2:57 p.m. PT, Thurs., May. 22, 2008

CLEVELAND, Ohio - A West Virginia woman was being transferred to the Cleveland Clinic after walking the line between life and death. Doctors are calling Val Thomas a medical miracle. They said they can't explain how she is alive.

They said Thomas suffered two heart attacks and had no brain waves for more than 17 hours. At about 1:30 a.m. Saturday, her heart stopped and she had no pulse. A respiratory machine kept her breathing and rigor mortis had set in, doctors said.

"Her skin had already started to harden and her fingers curled. Death had set in," said son Jim Thomas.

They rushed her to a West Virginia hospital. Doctors put Thomas on a special machine which induces hypothermia. The treatment involves lowering the body temperature for up to 24 hours before warming a patient up.

After that procedure, her heart stopped again.

"She had no neurological function," said Dr. Kevin Eggleston.

Her family said goodbye and doctors removed all the tubes.

However, Thomas was kept on a ventilator a little while longer as an organ donor issue was discussed.

Ten minutes later the woman woke up and started talking.

"She (nurse) said, 'I'm so sorry Mrs. Thomas.' And mom said, 'That's OK honey. That's OK," Jim Thomas said.

Val Thomas and her family strongly believe that the Lord granted them their miracle and they want everyone to know.

"I know God has something in store for me, another purpose. I don't know what it is but I'm sure he'll tell me," she said.

She was taken to the Cleveland Clinic for a specialist to check her out. Doctors said amazingly she has no blockage and will be fine.'

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24777532/?GT1=43001

With Love,
Kim

Adrian - I am so humbled by your strength, dignity and grace. And sense of humor! May you find peace in knowing that by so boldly and elequently telling your story, you have made a difference in this world. You are in my prayers.
~Shawn
from California

Hi Adrian

I,m very sorry to hear about you getting Leukaemia again in your young life. I feel obliged to try and talk you round to taking your 20 percent chance.You are so young and have got so much life left to enjoy if further treatment works. 20 percent is still better than no chance. 23 years ago i took a chance for my son. Before he was born i was told he had numerous things wrong with him. A stomach opening which left him with a lot of his organs on the outside of his body, (major surgery needed straight after birth). A deformed foot and missing fibula (amputation at 15 months).A cleft lip and palate (numerous operations from 3 months onwards). Plus a displaced hip and lots more small problems. I could have had an abortion but i took the chance and now he is a good looking, sporty and fit 23 year old,living a normal life. It took over 20 operations to get where he is now but he is glad i took the chance.
Also my husband was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease stage 4 in 1988 aged 26, He had a year of chemo and then got the all clear. He said at the time never again would he go through Chemo. In January this year it came back again after 20 years, we were all devastated.Since January he has had 2 lots of normal chemo and 1 high dosage Chemo plus a bone marrow transplant. He like you has been through a very unpleasant time and we are now hoping for the all clear in July. I am sure even if he does not get the all clear and was to get another 20 percent chance, if he went through it all again, he would. You have got so much life ahead of you please take the chance.I have only known about you for about 2 weeks, and even though we are going through a bad time ourselves at the moment, i had to write to you to try and talk you round.
I know this letter will probably not influence you in any way, but i feel better by trying.

My thoughts are with you and your family.
God bless you
Monika

Hi Adrian,

I'm a journalist with a group of radio stations in the West Midlands.

I can't add anything to the praise you have rightly received for being exceptionally brave in sharing your plight with the world.

Perhaps I can pay this tribute to you:

I believe you have helped to redefine what blogging means; more than just talking heads giving comments on things they know nothing about, but a place for proper journalism, for facts and emotion, for a genuine discussion about real issues.

Though, at the moment, this may mean little to you, I know others will recognise that your contribution to the blogosphere has been immense.

The last time I felt like this about someone I've never met, was when the great John Diamond died.

He, like yourself, documented the illness which was to kill him.

Shortly before his death he wrote a wonderful article which he ended with the following:

'Life is about loving and being loved. About one day being missed when you're gone.'

He was right and he is deeply missed by all those lived he touched.

I know from reading your blog that you are loved and loving and I know that by people near and farm you will be missed.

I don't know if you have a faith (and with what you've been through why should you?), but I pray that, if and when the time comes, God will take you peacefully into His loving arms and shine His beautiful face upon you.

Thankyou that in this world, so full of bull****, for your honesty and openness.

God Bless You!!!

Mathew.

'And now abideth.
Faith. Hope. Love.
These three remain.
But the greatest of these is Love.'

Adrian,

I am a silver surfer, and new to all this blog malarkey. But felt I had to get in touch to let you know what a brave and dignified young man you are. There are no words to express how I feel, I tried when I lost both my parents to cancer, it takes no prisoners!
You will give hope to so many people, and will live on in our memories forever. The world wiould be a far better place if there were more like you. May the rest of your journey be as you would wish it.
With love and admiration,

Maureenx

You are a trully inspirational guy and there is no doubt that your bravery, honesty and hard work has, and will continue to, touch the lives of many many people. Your campaign will succeed, and I am sure that there are now thousands of people who are behind you to make sure it does! You're a rare angel.

Thanks Adrian for sharing this most personal of journeys with us. I have sons of a similar age to you and could not imagine how I would cope if what has afflicted you happened to one of them but in seeing the courage and honesty with which you have confronted this illness has shown me that even in the most dire of situations the human spirit shines through and you most certainly have a unique spirit in immeasureable quantity.
Thank you once again for being such an inspiration.

I'm very sorry. I don't know what to say but that from your latest blog, you seem like among the bravest people one can imagine.

God bless you.

Ali

All I can say is you are an inspiration to people. You are one of the bravest souls I have ever come across and think your thoughts will live on through this blog and you will have an impact on the future of cancer sufferers everywhere with your petition.

I am 24 and work for the same company as you in the same job and I can't imagine having to go through what you have been through -you are a hero.

Your blog is compelling and has probably changed the way people view blogs! I hope you find peace.

You are in my prayers x x x

Adrian,

I saw your story on the news last week and have just come upon your blog through a google search looking for more information on post-BMT survivors.

I'm a 25 year old AML survivor, now 202 days post-BMT and suffering from fairly mild cGvHD. I have moments where I resent the GvH but most of the time I am happy of it's presence because I know it reduces the chances of relapse. I stay confident that I will beat this.

I have to say you're an inspiration to everybody, cancer sufferers or not. A huge well done on your campaign and the best of luck.

I wish you as much fun and happiness as you can manage and while you can, people forget that life is for living right now, and you have to make the most of it.

My thoughts are with you,

Mark.

Dear Adrian -

I found your blog via a news story on MSNBC.com.

I haven't been able to read all of your entries yet, although I'm working on it.

My heart breaks for you. Perhaps the one silver lining we might all get from this is the continued and increased awareness of this terrible disease and what people can do to hasten a cure.

I pray for a miracle for you - I do believe in miracles.

Peace and love to you and yours -

Jules
Portland, OR
USA

hello adrian, im shocked to hear your news, i wish that altogether we could wave a magic wand. it jus goes to show that anything can happen and that life is really that unpredictable. ive always told my boyfriend he will never die from leukaemia (he is more likely to die in his car the way he drives!!) its jus such a shame that after all the effort and the time you spent in hospital that it had to end this way. im sorry i havent posted in a while, im not sure ul remember me because of the amount of posts you must get, but my boyfriend had his stem cell transplant at the beginning of april this year. things have been good since then but i do get worried cos recently he has not been eating much, feeling a bit sick and generally feeling more tired. i have to keep reminding myself that it is still early days, not even 2 months yet. sometimes u look back and think "did it actually ever happen?" and the first lot of chemo back in january feels like years ago. we will continue fighting your corner, for the 6th form education and i will join as a donor with the anthony nolan trust. thank you for being there for me even if you hadn't realised it. xxxxx

Hi Adrian,Iam sorry that I am to old to be a donor but I hope thatI have been able to spread the word,I had a phone call to remind me to give blood and I was able to pass your message onto the call centre as they didn`t know about it.I was told that they would vote and pass your message round.Ihave been a blood donor for many years and feel that it`s some small thing I can do.Please try to have some time with your family and friends and I trust that your hopes and dreams do come true,you are one fantastic young man.Love and Prayers Barbara x

Adrian:
I had breast cancer at 35, and was treated for it. I finished in January, 2002. The docs gave me the all clear to get pregnant, and I was pregnant 9 months later. 7 or 8 weeks into the pregnancy I was having a low-grade fever. I went to the ER after a week, only to be told the cancer was back. I said "no, cancer was last year the baby is this year" and they said No, you don't understand. They did one CBC and my counts were way off. I had kept telling the docs I was tired, but they said to take a nap. I said "I take a nap, and feel worse upon waking". They told my family and husband that the breast cancer had metastisized to my brain. I slipped into a coma and had a fever of 105 degrees. The hospital transferred me to Karmanos Cancer Institute where they literally thought I was going to die. One doc told my husband and me--"the day before you were going to die, your body just kicked back in". We had people praying in 6 different states for me. I lost our baby. Then I had to have a bone marrow transplant. (I had AML, not metastatic breast cancer!) They found ONE person out of 4.8 million people on the list! I thank the Lord God for that every day. We now have a beautiful 17 month old, adopted from Vietnam. My point in telling you this is that no one knows when you are going to die. There are fantastic stories of miraculous happenings. The only thing that I know is that I have accepted the saving grace of Jesus Christ's blood shed on the cross for my sins. I know that when I die I will be born again, and have a healed body. I can't wait for that time! The Bible says "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord". They are words of comfort to be sure. I don't know if you have faith or not, or what you believe. But I thought you should know, because the Lord God loves you very much and wants you in heaven. Forever. You can choose--and be in one of two places. I wish you the best, and thank you for all you are doing!
Diane

Alright Adrian I'm a student at Sheffield Uni and walk past the Royal Hallamshire and Western Park every day going to lectures and I can't believe you have been in there going through so much while I'm worrying about trivial stuff like where my beer money is going to be coming from.

You have been desperately unlucky but you're a bloody tough cookie when it comes to accepting what you have. Just want to say the blog has been a fantastic read and you have done tremendous work regarding the education on bone marrow. The world's going to miss you mate

Adrian,

Our family is praying for you. Your light has certainly blessed this world already, may the Lord Jesus conmfort and bless you too.

Millie
Texas, US

Dear Adrian,

I have been reading your blog with great admiration over the past few months. Sadly in the US, they don't want blood donations from a UK citizen but I tried.
Christ is looking out for you, you can look forwards to a much better place than all of us here!
Julie

Dear Adrian,

You have shown amazing bravery, honesty and strength. When you are surrounded by all those that you love and care about their is always hope, I am not religious and not sure what is out there for us all but someone like you will always be a shining star.

Vicky

Dear Adrian
I think you have been so courageous in fighting leukaemia God Bless you and your family.

dear adrian i wish i could wave a magic wand and make you better,unfortunatley i cannot do that for you.i watched my hero die with the same cancer that you have,that hero was my father and i love and miss him like crazy.the only good thing i can say about my fathers passing is the last couple of days were pain free.he died with dignity which i am sure you will.if there is a heaven i will ask my dad cecil to make you welcome,and lets hope theres a pub and you can both have a pint.take care mike.

What can I say. In this day and age of so called modern technology they still cant seem to get some of it right. They can get a machine to Mars but not a reasonable cure for all those bad illnesses that humans can get. For over 15 years i was a blood donor and bone marrow donor but was never 'called up'and then due to ill health I was unable to carry on.
Adrian, you have given people hope through your writings about your treatments, your feelings and your ups and downs. If nothing in your families loss they must remember out there in this big wide world you have helped someone. You are not leaving you are just going into another room waiting for family and friends to join the party
Take care

Dear Adrian

You may be dying but you don't half know how to live. And since dying is just part of life, you have nothing to fear. You will live on in so many peoples' hearts and minds and bodies ! (if your campaign does what I just know it will). You are amazing. Take comfort in how many lives you have touched.
much love
Katy x

What can I say. In this day and age of so called modern technology they still cant seem to get some of it right. They can get a machine to Mars but not a reasonable cure for all those bad illnesses that humans can get. For over 15 years i was a blood donor and bone marrow donor but was never 'called up'and then due to ill health I was unable to carry on.
Adrian, you have given people hope through your writings about your treatments, your feelings and your ups and downs. If nothing in your families loss they must remember out there in this big wide world you have helped someone. You are not leaving you are just going into another room waiting for family and friends to join the party
Take care

Adrian,

You are such a brave person!

My mum had CML and she laughed right to the end. My thoughts are with you.

LOL

dear Adrian,
you are in my prayers.A big kiss.

My friends wife has been following your blog because her husband (and my very good friend) also has leukemia. By you blogging about your treatment it opened her eyes to the desparate need of progressive and intensive research. She is an passionate supporter of stem cell research and educates everyone she meets on how it saved her husbands life.

You are a brave guy and I respect you tremendously.

Hero's are never forgotten.

It would be 'way cool if you could keep in touch once you are 'out there' so you could tell us what it's like to go, to be there.

:-D

Thanks for being brave. It gives me the courage to be the same.

Dear Adrian. You are such a beautiful person.I read your blog tonight and i have wept for you. i send you love and hope

Only in times of extreme shock, pain and disappointment does humanity show its true strength-
This bravery and strength is shown every day by you and one can only commend you.

Youre fabulous - an opinion shared not only by me but by thousands upon thousands of people the world over.

Good Luck, I wish you nothing but positivity and good things, no matter what happens.

I lost my Grandad to cancer a few years back - I was very young but i remember him vividly. It holds no prisoners.

All the best.
I will be thinking of you.
Lauren
x

Hi Adrian, have just seen you on the tv, think it was channel 5, and wanted to say as many have already, i think you are amazing. Life can be so cruel, but like you said, you have to play the cards you have to the best of your ability. Well Adrian, its worked...apart from being in floods of tears, i have just logged on and registered as a Donor. I will also email everyone i know and suggest they do the same. What a shame its never been done before. I think your idea of the 40 min talk in school is fantastic, so simple, yet so effective.

I wanted to send you a hug, (from a stranger it seems weird i guess, but hugs are always good!)

And to say i think you are an inspiration to all, and hope and pray that you aren't in too much pain in the coming wks/months.

Thankyou for enlightening me.

You are incredible.

Lisa ( aged 36, Mum of 2, Lincolnshire)

Hi chicken,

I saw you on 5 News and you touched my heart.

Thank you for sharing your courage, your sense of humour, your humility and your incredible bravery. You inspire me and shame me too.

God bless and I'll see you next time round.

Pene x

Adrian
I know that you hope that your legacy will be that more people have the opportunity to receive organ/blood donation and a second chance at life. Having read the messages on this site I feel that you are leaving an even greater legacy than that. So many people (including myself) have stopped and evaluated their life realising what is truely important.
Have a safe journey to wherever it is your soul travels to.
Clare

Hi Adrian,

My hubby and i heard you on Hallam Fm tonight,I was really touched by your story and your fight. we are both going to sign up for the register - keep up the good work.
Being the same age as your self has made me realise that things like this can happen any time to any one - thank you for opening my eyes.

Take care

Dearest Adrian
I have just heard about you on 5 live when you did the interview with Gary L. What an amazing, strong and human person you are.I have signed the petition and taken on board everything you have said, if for no other reason than I am a mother and I cannot imagine how it must feel to see your child go through this.

There is nothing else I can say, except that I will think of you and say a prayer that God will take care of you.
God bless,
Karen.

I'm very sorry to hear about your recurrence. All I can say is God bless you and give your family and yourself the strength to cope. I am in touch with the Anthony Nolan Trust with a view to recruiting people from ethnic minorities for marrow donation. A great idea a friend introduced me to. I hope your story inspires others to do the same. God bless.

Dear Adrian,

You re a survivor ! maybe you will not be one in person but for sure you ll be in your spirit. You might be leaving this world but so are the rest of us, but I shall hope that I will be able to leave a mark behind me just like you did. I shall hope you read this message and feel that you have conquered a lot by fighting off fear..
Currently i have a little girl in my life going through cancer so I know the pain you are feeling and somehow you re giving me more hope that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I think you are the one who should pray for us cause I know you dont need much prayers; you have suffered too much to not enjoy the new life ahead of you. God bless you for your courage. You ve given the world a lot of inspiration to be better people and love one another. Goodbye for now.

Dear brave young man.

I have read your story and am full of admiration for your courage. I pray for you and your family and your loving friends. You have made many new friends all over the world who will be made better by your thoughts and lives will be enriched by knowing you (even in print).

God bless you.
Love Bern X

Hi there,

I think you are the bravest person ever. I hope you enjoy your time, and i will be supporting Mark Carter who is doing the run from Bradford to Huddersfield to raise money for the Anthony Nolan Trust. All the best!
Be thinking of you!!

Jo Hoyle x

Hi Adrian. How amazing you are. I have been following your blog for sometime now. Untill now I did'nt know what to say but each time I loged in these words always comes to me. Do you know that you're my Hero and everything I would like to be. I can fly higher than an Eagle for you are the wind beneath my wings. Thank you for shareing your emotions and struggles with us. We are all Blessed to even have heard of you God bless you. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Mary Savva Cyprus

Hi Adrian
i think you are a fantastic individual and a shining light for others dealing with this illness, i was diagnosed 20 years ago and it is a horrible disease, for a long time i didnt tell anybody that i had leukeamia because i didnt want to be labeled tragic or victim as often goes before or after the term cancer, you have given me the strength to tell people that i had the disease, you are doing such good work for people with bone marrow appeal and your name will live on not something that a lot of people who have lived to a hundred can say you have and are making a difference,
love and peace to you and your family x

Hi Adrian,

Again belated comment .

I am sincerely praying for some miracle to happen...miracles do happen.

I hope I can meet you one day.

Shiney

This blog is incredible. Adrian was so incredibly brave through it all. At 17, he's opened up my eyes to blood and bone marrow donation.
I know it's too late to save him, but the thought that by just donating a small amount of me, I could be saving someones life is pretty incredible.
Thanks Adrian.
Ali

x

Wow 1 Its really amazing. I think you send a right post. Your all post are always very hopeful and helpful, you really a star. I love your post alwaysYou have shown amazing bravery, honesty and strength. When you are surrounded by all those that you love and care about their is always hope, I am not religious and not sure what is out there for us all but someone like you will always be a shining star. Thanks for this enjoyful post.