Baldy's Blog

A plea for more bone marrow donors

Thu, 15 May 2008 16:35:35 +0000

I have one last little mission before I die. I'm determined to try and educate more people about what it is like to be a bone marrow donor. There are still 7,000 people - children and adults in the UK alone - who are waiting to find a match. Without your help they have no hope. At least I was given a chance. The problem is people think it is some horrific procedure and I want to show as many people as possible that it is not like that. Apparently, the Germans have one of the world's best marrow registers. All they do is educate their sixth form students about why it's important to donate blood, bone marrow and how you do it. Why can't we do that here? This is a video showing how around 75% of all bone marrow donation is carried out these days.

The Beginning of the End

Wed, 14 May 2008 18:50:29 +0000

In the rapping words of Craig David: "RE-EE-Lapse". After everything we have been through together I am so sorry to break the following news to you all. The leukaemia has reappeared in the bone marrow and I have only got weeks or months to live. In the end I decided to have no further intensive treatment.

Thanks for the weekend

Mon, 12 May 2008 12:07:47 +0000

And so begins a potentially difficult week. In a few hours I will have a crucial bone marrow sample taken. The results, which we are hoping to learn on Wednesday or Thursday, will show one of two things. 1. This relapse can be controlled by drugs. 2. I will have to choose whether to have further intensive treatment or not. Not a particularly pleasant set of circumstances but on the plus side I did have an excellent weekend. I’m hoping today that the doctors don’t ask me how many units of alcohol I’ve consumed because I will clearly have to lie.

Bone marrow results

Fri, 09 May 2008 22:45:21 +0000

I thought nothing could shock me after everything I have been through in the last 18 months. Then I finally got the news today from my most recent bone marrow sample. Please bear in mind this test was carried out before I went mental and stopped taking my pills. At that stage I was taking the drug Glivec which should be effective against the chronic/strange form of the disease. But, as regular readers will know from my weekly whinges, I have also had that post transplant complication known as Graft versus Host Disease. Collectively, these bad boys should have stopped any leukaemia from returning. Well today was a bit of a shocker to say the least.

The drugs don't work...

Thu, 01 May 2008 11:41:55 +0000

How many times can someone get kicked in the head and keep picking themselves up? This latest blow has well and truly floored me. I've tried my best to turn this situation around, carry on with work, and see my friends, but I just can't do it. Now before I drown you all with my unrelenting misery I'd like to say thank you to all the new readers and the people who have taken the time to comment. As you can see from previous posts I really think it's important that I should reply to people who have given their time to support me and wish me well.

Saved by my family, my friends and this blog

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:03:05 +0000

Just over a week ago I nearly took my own life. I had drunk a generous glass of whiskey and was lying on my bed. I am sorry to say it now but I have never felt so worthless and empty. Despite everything I have been through there just seemed no point in carrying on. There was no hope at all. An overdose seemed the most logical option. I had even worked out the order in which I was going to consume the copious amounts of tablets stuffed in a bag by my bedside. I'm ashamed to write this but that is the truth and I suppose this is what my blog is all about. To indicate just how serious I was I had started playing all my Radiohead albums! God I'm a cliche. What stopped me in the end was maybe cowardice - a drugs overdose will be a slow and painful death - but mainly thinking about just how cruel it would have been on my family. I know there are lots of people, including readers of this blog, who care about me and don't want me to die - even though I care much less now. When it came to it I just couldn't do it. This is how I turned things around with a lot of help from some wonderful people.

Bone Marrow Sample 3

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:14:10 +0000

Heart break

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:57:55 +0000

This time I have some really sad news. Poppy has called off the wedding and decided to separate. I have never been so sad in all my life. I am utterly heartbroken. But the most diffcult thing is that I don't blame her. There was no big argument; I think there was just the slow realisation of what getting married to me means. Me and Pops before the illness. This is what I used to look like She also has a new job up in Hartlepool and all these factors together made her think she could make a clean break. As for me I already miss her so much and my life is in tatters.

The Punto is dead - long live the Vectra. Plus 5mg of steds a day and a more serious flare (Part 32)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:24:24 +0000

I must begin this post with some more sad news. My much loved N-reg Fiat Punto has died. I had come to think of it as the Herbie of the Leukaemia world. Time of death 3pm Tuesday March 31 2008. Location: M1 northbound just short of Wooley Edge services between junctions 38 and 39. RIP little guy. Of course my old car giving up the ghost wouldn't normally feature in my leukaemia blog but it's such a strange story I thought I had to include it.

Graft versus Host flare and continued steroid taper (Part 31)

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:58:46 +0000

I think this post illustrates just what a knife edge people with chronic Graft versus Host Disease - and who are trying to come off their steroids - are really on. This is a video of me on 10mg a day. If it wasn't for the sted face I would happily stick now.

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However, after two days of dropping down to 7.5mg this happened to my back...

No pictures of my arse this week and can you help with a little dilemma? (Part 30)

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 15:37:19 +0000

Plunged into despair, buoyed by incandescent hope, crushed by another set-back, fighting illness and misery from all quarters, stuck in an impossible situation yet life remains rich with possibility; determined not to let this disease beat me. What a pretentious gob shite. Now let’s get down to business.

Graft Versus Host with the Most (Part 29)

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:06:21 +0000

It’s back. The steroid dose is now down to 12.5mg a day and the chronic Graft versus Host Disease (cGvHD) has started to bubble up to the surface of my skin. The affected areas at the moment are my thighs and elbow pits. It’s a horrible experience but bearable. At this stage I think it can still be managed by moisturisers and steroid cream. What is difficult to deal with is that I know it’s only going to get worse. The treatment at Rotherham may have helped but it certainly has not cured me. The pessimist in me would be keen to point out that I’m actually worse off today than I was before my bone marrow transplant. Now I’ve got leukaemia, cGvHD, a terrible immune system, normal energy levels and a head like a Space Hopper.

I can only apologise: A "unique" thanks to everyone who has recently commented

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:22:24 +0000

Bad news but don’t worry too much (Part 28)

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:21:07 +0000

I have just found out that the chronic myeloid leukaemia could be back. I couldn’t believe it when my doctor revealed the results of my second bone marrow sample. I was just so confident it would still be a total remission. However, I am not too worried about it. As a journalist you are trained to put the most interesting facts at the top of the story. The purpose of this is to grab the reader’s attention and make them want to read on. I hope that’s been achieved. Now, before I explain why it’s important not to be too concerned at this stage, please permit me a little bit of whinging.

A tribute to Donna

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:04:43 +0000

Dr Donna McCormick and husband Greg Iredale I have had a day of very mixed emotions. My job involves editing the Huddersfield Examiner's website and when you read today's front page article I think you will understand. http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/local-west-yorkshire-news/2008/01/10/the-best-daughter-in-all-the-world-86081-20334578/ I have spoken to Donna's mum and emailed her husband Greg. I just wanted to say again to Donna's family that I am thinking about you all at this very difficult time and thank you for all your kind words. Adrian